the birth of Eliza Noelle

Here she is! Fresh out of the shell ;)



Eliza Noelle was born on January 25, 2012 at 10:42pm. She was 7 pounds 14 ounces and 20 inches long.

Looking at this picture I can hardly believe it's already been 6 weeks since my sweet baby was born... but at the same time it seems like it's been a lifetime. I feel like I've known her my whole life... and I guess I kinda have :)

Here is the story of my labor and delivery with Eliza...

I began early labor early around 2am on tuesday the 24th. I had contractions all night but mild like cramps and very tolerable. This continued all day long, and at 1am wednesday my water broke. I went to the hospital at the call of my midwife and she met us around 2. They told me to sleep but I was too excited! So i didn't... big mistake :/ lol

My first labor nurse wanted me to have an IV, for the following things: fluids, drawing blood and pitocin. I had made sure my midwife knew that of all the things I didn't want during my labor, it was pitocin. And the other two things I didn't see a need for. Donna (my midwife) had previously told me I would not need an IV during labor, so I politely declined. The nurse tried to convince me it was necessary and that my baby was actually "not looking good" at the moment because her activity was so low... maybe she was sleeping at 2am? just a thought. At any rate, I resisted because I've had an IV before and knew how uncomfortable they are... if not necessary, I'd just rather not. So while the nurse tried to guilt me into it, I asked her if we could just wait until Donna arrived to make the decision... and at that moment Donna walked in. She agreed with me that I didn't need it and we moved on.

I was 4cm 100% and +1 when admitted and by 9am I had only progressed to 5cm. By 1pm I had progressed to 6cm but things were moving so slowly and contractions were still around 5 minutes apart that I began walking and moving around the room a lot and doing some nipple stimulation. It worked like a charm! By 3pm I was in hard labor and had back labor for the rest of it. During that earlier part of the day, my labor nurse, Chris, was such an amazing support and encouragement to me. It turned out that she was a Christian also and once we all realized we were of the same mindset spiritually, there was a connection there that was so encouraging to see in the midst of such a hard time. At one point, Chris literally laid her hands on my belly and began to pray... pray that the labor would progress. When she did that, I cannot accurately describe what I felt because I've never felt anything like it before. It was a surreal moment where I felt closer to God than I ever have before. I felt as though it wasn't Chris's hands on me, but the Lords...

I had back labor because the baby was posterior. She eventually did turn but unfortunately I had labored so long with her in that position she had bruised me and her little nose was smashed up against my spine... she had a squishy face when she came out ;)

The dr on call was not pleased with how slowly I seemed to be progressing and communicated to Donna that we needed to "come up with a plan to get things moving" It was around 8pm by this point and I had dilated to 8cm and my contractions were giving me about 30 seconds of rest in between... What did the dr want me to do? He wanted me on pitocin to dilate more quickly. I was like uhhhhh NO, at this point I could not handle anything more than I was being given and I knew I would need the epidural with pitocin and I did NOT want things to go slower than they were! Not to mention, I didn't want any of that to begin with. Donna was more than on board with my wants and desires and had no problem with my labor and progress, unfortunately the dr still had a say.

I asked her if there was anything else to do and she said she wanted to check me again, I was progressed to 9cm. She told me I might be able to push to 10cm, but I wasn't feeling pushy AT ALL. So I began standing and sitting over and over and going back and forth from the toilet to the bed until I began to feel just a little pushy. I was still 9 and at +2, she said to push on the next contraction and she got my cervix over the baby's head.

We were good to go at that point, but seeing how slowly everything had progressed, I was envisioning 2 hours of pushing... and I totally flipped out. It was the only point in my labor where I felt totally and completely out of control... and I didn't remember how to push. The labor nurse and Donna coached me on what to do and I pushed for 10 minutes before she was out.

I wanted to have nubane when I was about 8cm, but when Donna told me that I would be sleeping in between and waking for the peak of my contractions, I decided not to because that quite honestly sounded worse than just feeling the whole thing. So in the end, my labor was 100% natural. My highest expectation had been met! I had prepared myself to do what I needed to do and what was best for both me and baby... and I am just delighted to have seen my body do so well!

I had a lot of pain after, but I was able to see my chiropracter and things have been getting squared away! I saw a chiro during my pregnancy as well who helped me a lot with aligning my pelvis and positioning things so that they would open more easily. It took me about 2 weeks before I wasn't having a noticeable amount of pain, and I was delighted with that as I thought it would take a lot longer.

However, because of the quick recovery time, I have been careless with my body... and I'm paying for it! I just didn't realize how much of a toll labor and delivery could take... and then add in the sleep deprivation and it really does take a long time for things to get back to normal. Maybe they never will, really.

I told Steve the other day that this whole thing is horrible and wonderful, awful and amazing all at the same time. I never knew how much I could cry because I'm so happy, but be so frustrated all at the same time. Eliza is so beautiful and I am beyond thankful to be her mommy. She is such a good baby and since she's come home from the hospital she's been sleeping in her crib and getting up to eat about 2 times a night. That was hard to get used to though and I'm still really not used to it. I had a lot of help in the beginning and since then Steve and I have been working together to make things work.



Eliza at 5 and half days old (yes, you count half days when they're this little ;)

I'm still pregnant and that's ok

You know how it works. As you go through life and watch others handle their own, you silently make your own resolutions about how you would do things different/better. I'm not even talking about being judgemental, I'm talking more about learning from other people's likes and dislikes what you like or dislike yourself.

Well, for me, documenting my pregnancy was one of those things I was sure I would be stellar at. Oh yes, I would take adorable belly shots and blog about sentimental things all the time and all that jazz. Well, at 39 weeks and 5 days I certainly feel like a failure in that department!

The truth is, whenever I felt the need to take a picture (which would be only on a day that I weighed myself and felt that it was appropriate and also HAD to be on a day that coincided with the change of a new week, ie exactly 17 weeks, not 17+4 or something like that) Yes, I'm a little OCD like that. So basically, most pictures have been taken spur of the moment, not all cutesie tootsie like I had in mind... and whatever. Who cares? At least I took pictures.

Anyways, the other thing I feel somewhat bad about is that I didn't document all the different stages etc. I guess I never felt like it because I honestly felt like crap for so long I was sick of complaining and that seemed like just one more way to complain. I threw up consistently through 7 months. Then it tapered off to more like a couple times a month, and still, that's the case. But at least I don't feel nauseous. It's all business here, get it done and over with and then I feel fine. And really, who wants to hear a daily log of how I threw up, again.

There are a lot of things I have enjoyed while being pregnant. The truth is, I can't honestly say I enjoy getting and being sick, but it's a constant reminder that better days are ahead. I've wanted this baby for my whole life. Dreamt of what it would be like to have and hold this beautiful creation... as well as the days of angst and strife that necessarily come along with parenting ;) I want it all! Really. So that's helped me keep it in perspective.

I've enjoyed dreaming up her nursery and making that a reality as well as choosing her name and preparing my heart and home for her. Watching Steve grow to love this little baby we can't actually see has been quite honestly one of my favorite parts of being married so far. I really don't understand at this point why people would be so cautious to bring children into a loving relationship, because so far it's only made us love each other more... and appreciate what we have together. I know that with the arrival of this new little one I am going to be thankful that I have a constant reminder of the love we share... yes, I'm a total sap like that :)

Anyways, this is the part where I tell you how I thought I was in labor last week. On Wednesday I was throwing up and had diarrhea as well as an extreme need to nest. I got everything that wasn't ready, ready. I did laundry, packed what I needed for the hospital, shaved my legs (let me tell you, that was interesting) brought the car seat down (which Steve later put in the car) and was like BAM, I am ready to go!

We even put the bassinet in our room and when I went to bed that night, this is what I found curled up in there ;)



It was a week early though! Could it really be? Well, I also had visited the chiropracter that afternoon and thought, well if she's ready to come out, this will certainly set it off. Thursday afternoon, I went out shopping with my mom. For things like toilet paper and crackers. The essentials ya know? My mom was with me and kept commenting on how it was making her uncomfortable watching me walk... LOL. I was having lots and lots of braxton hicks, but that is common for when I walk around a lot. I started noticing a little later on that my lower back was hurting along with the bh contractions. And I thought hmmmm... that could actually be a sign I'm in early labor.

So, I called my midwife and gave her a heads up that maybe possibly I could be. She told me that if I wanted to come in and get checked that I could, but I really didn't. I wanted to wait until I was more sure... and I already had a scheduled appointment for the next morning. I figured I'd just wait until then.

We decided by bedtime to give my mother in law a call to update her since she lives about 5 hours away and let her know things may be getting a move on. She was very excited, as this is in fact her first grandchild and immediately drove out here! Well, I went to the midwife in the morning, still having bh but my back was not so sore anymore. And I thought well, maybe it's waning down, who knows. Turns out I had been progressing at least somewhat, I was dilated about 1.5 cm and almost completely effaced, I lost my mucus plug and all that. But by friday night, nada. There wasn't a blessed thing going on. So by sunday evening, my mother in law decided to head back home and save her vacation time for when baby actually does arrive :) I am glad, because now, thursday, I would have been sad to see her not have any time left to spend with the baby!



This is from yesterday, 39w4d. And btw I don't think it's actually possible that I could drop any lower. I carried low my whole pregnancy, but at this point, I just don't see how lower is physically possible... ha!

So like I said, it's now thursday and nothing is going on. Just waiting :) I am happy to wait, because I know that someday I will miss her little body flipping about inside of mine, but at the same time, I'll be happy to hold her in my arms :)

Christmas Day 2011

This is now my second Christmas married, and I have come to a conclusion about it. It's really profound, so get ready.

Married Christmases are different than single Christmases.

Yep, it's true.

Both lovely in their own way, but adjusting to the change was/is a little challenging.

Last year it took me by surprise. I had no idea how hard it would be to spend Christmas away from my Mom and Dad. I was irrationally emotional and didn't even understand myself what was going on. I totally didn't expect to react that way. But this year I prepared myself a bit better, and best of all, I got to spend Christmas with both sets of my parents :)



It was a wonderfully simple day. We hosted Christmas morning at our house where we had brunch, reflected on why we celebrate Christmas and then opened our gifts.





It was a really special Christmas to me in a couple ways, but the biggest reason was because of the gift we've been given this year that we haven't been able to see yet.

{insert baby's name here}



Oh how I wish I could just say her name! But for some reason, I just don't want to until she's born. However, if you ask me, I'll tell you ;) Most everyone around me knows her by name already!

It seemed as though everyone had put thought into including little miss into this Christmas and it was fun to open a few special presents for her... or for her Daddy ;)





Steve and I each received a very special present this year to remind us of this time in our lives. This is from my Mom and Dad...



and this was from me to Steve {but it was really from the baby ;)}





I had wanted to save this for when the baby was actually born, but decided that Christmas was more than appropriate :)

After Christmas morning wrapped up, we spent the afternoon playing with some new toys and relaxing. Later that evening Steve and his Mom and Dad and I went to my parents house where we had Christmas dinner with them and my brother Dan.

We shared a lot of stories along with favorite Christmas memories and I was really blessed by Steve's Dad's account of his favorite Christmas... the one Steve was born. It really touched me to see and feel how much love we have in our family and I am overflowing with thankfulness that we get to bring this baby into our lives and home where it will be so loved and cherished.

Remembering that Christmas is truly about the Love of Christ is how I reckon myself with the lack of "Christmas Spirit" I felt this year. Somehow, not feeling the "hustle and bustle" so much this year made me realize that the love we have for each other and from God is the best gift we can ever give/receive.

Merry Christmas everyone :)

2011 recap

01. Where did you begin 2011?
I had a hard time remembering this one, but once I finally did it makes sense why I don't remember. I was really sick layin on the couch. Some of my super friends brought me some goodies, but I didn't really even feel good enough to eat them :/

02. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Got pregnant! I feel this is going to be a recurring answer in some way or another...

03. What was your status by Valentine’s Day?
Happily enjoying being married

04. Were you in school (anytime this year)?
No thank goodness

05. How did you earn your money?
I continued doing photography as well as nannying. And when I pulled the numbers together for taxes a few days ago realized I made a lot more than I thought! that was nice :)

06. Did you have to go to the hospital?
To have a couple ultrasounds :)

07. Did you have any encounters with the police?
Yes unfortunately... "rolling" a stop sign...

08. Where did you go on holidays?
We decided to go down to Maryland for Thanksgiving because we were going to stay in for Christmas. It was a good decision because by Christmas and very near the end of my pregnancy travelling or sleeping somewhere other than my own bed has become quite difficult ;) Truthfully though, who am I kidding, sleeping in my own bed is difficult right now lol

09. What did you purchase that was over $1000?
A house and a car

10. Did you know anybody who got married?
Steve's brother Mike and our friends Amy and Brian

11. Did you know anyone that passed away?
no

12. Did you know anyone who had a baby?
Several people did!

13. Did you move?
Yes, into our first house! It has been great living here too

14. What concerts/shows did you go to?
none

15. Are you registered to vote?
I was, but now that I've moved I'm not sure anymore... I should probably find out before fall!

16. Where do you live now?
Rochester

17. Describe your birthday.
We went to a bed and breakfast called the Red Door Inn where we stayed 1 night. We went to a small Italian restaurant that evening and enjoyed our time in the Inn. It was a very warm weekend and definitely one I'll remember for a long time

18. What’s one thing you thought you’d never do, but did in 2011?
hmmm, I don't know if I did anything I never thought I'd do... everything big, like having a baby, buying a house and all were things that I have always wanted to do...

19. What has been your favorite moment?
The day I found out I was pregnant, May 19th :)

20. What’s something you learned about yourself?
I really am happier being married than I've ever been in any other state of life

21. Any new additions to your family?
only inside the womb :) she's due to come out soon though!

22. What was your best month?
hmmm, probably May when we had just moved into the new house and found out about the baby :)

23. What was your worst month?
June, July and August... lots and lots of nausea and sickness :(

24. What music will you remember 2011 by?
nothing that stands out

25. Who has been your best drinking buddy?
My baby I guess, she's given me a lot more reason to drink water, I often feel like I can't get enough!

26. Made new friends?
not really anyone new, just made better friendships with people I've known awhile

27. Lost friends?
Yes unfortunately

28. Favorite night out?
my birthday night

30. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter
iii. richer or poorer? Richer in so many ways!

31. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 19, the day I found out about my baby :)

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

and everything finally came together... peaceful and serene. Oh wait, we were up til 2am fixing food and wrapping presents ;)

It was a beautiful Christmas Eve though. We spent it at Grandma's house with a nice dinner and afterwards came home with Mom and Dad Robinson to finish getting ready. When all was said and done, Mom and I took some pictures of the house before all the presents were opened.





In years past, I have always jumped the gun on Christmas decorating. In fact, 2 years ago when Steve and I got engaged, we bought our tree the night before Thanksgiving. This year, we didn't buy it until December 10th. Because we have had a lot of projects going on since we moved. We removed the carpet from both the living room and dining room and the baby's room, revealing beautiful hardwoods. Hardwoods that desperately needed some refinishing. So that project happened beginning of December... and it's a big project. So no decorating was begun until the floors were completely done.

Even then, I thought, "the more I put up, the more I have to take down" so I didn't put much up. Til Christmas Eve... when I decided the house needed more sparkle. So I did what I could with what I had to make the house twinkly and I was happy with the outcome :)





This is a view into our front room that used to be a front porch but has been remodeled (not by us) to an additional room in the house.



This is the other side of the front room. Eventually, when the baby is a little older, this will be the play room :)



And here is the living room, looking in from the front room.



And from the other side of the living room... you can see how the front is connected.



I wanted to wait until next year when it's officially Baby's first Christmas to get her stocking and all so this year I just bought this mini Yankees stocking and we put a little Aflac duck we had in it and hung it on the tree... lol



And since we don't have a chimney, fireplace or appropriate stairway for stockings, this is how it went down this year! I'd like to come up with something better for the future :) But I thought this was cute for now :)

Merry Christmas 2011!

36 weeks on Christmas Eve :)

Maybe I should rename this blog so that it's about the baby ;) hehehe it seems like that's all I ever think to post about. But I suppose that makes sense being that it's about my life, and currently, baby is my life. Basically.

Anyways, I wanted to keep posting on my progress. Today is Christmas Eve and I am currently 36 weeks with the little Robinson. I don't see the growth day to day but when I look at the comparison that 6 weeks makes (since that's the last time I took a picture) I can see she is definitely out there more! I just got back from Wegmans and while I was there I couldn't help but notice that most people would look at my face and then their eyes would go down, right to my belly. I guess it's hard not to see... :/

I'm thankful though, so far in my pregnancy I have had zero complications or health issues. Everything has gone very smoothly. That isn't to say I haven't been uncomfortable or felt amazing ;) just that nothing bad has happened. And while I originally thought I would pack on weight like a water buffalo, I've been shown that just isn't true. So far I've gained a net total of 13 pounds. With 4 more weeks to go, I'm hoping for only a couple more :)

moving right along...

I'll have to add 33+ soon, since the latest picture at 29 weeks is already a month old! Insane, it seems like it's going by so fast but at the same time it's taking forever!

baby blanket

At the beginning of my pregnancy, a friend of mine told me to journal. I am a random and sporadic journaler... not one to really write out all my feelings. Somehow I feel that thinking my thoughts, thoughtfully, is more effective than writing them down. Problem is, I tend to forget those thoughts.

So I thought to myself, why don't you want to write these things down? Well, because in the beginning it was pretty darn depressing to write down what was going on. And not only that, but my place of choice to "journal" is here on this blog... and not on paper. Knowing that certain people would see what I was going through kept me away as I didn't want to cause any more pain than I already had.

Sounds a bit silly, but it all made sense to me. Anyways, I am loving the new-found freedom in knowing that no one I don't approve can read this. I feel at liberty to express myself without fear of judgment.

Today I finished up another project I've been working on. There are so many! But I am determined to get them all done in time for this baby's arrival. In fact, I've determined to get it all done before CHRISTMAS!





This is the blanket I've been working on, finally complete. I had looked around at different baby bedding but didn't find anything that stood out to me as being what I was really looking for. And since the quilts that tend to come in the bed sets for babies seem to be pretty impractical, I decided to make my own. Not without help though... I have connections ;)

So I put my list of things I would like to make together and set out to find the right fabric and patterns. I found exactly what I wanted, and so far Molly has helped me to make a crib bumper as well as start on the crib skirt. We're finishing that up as well as a hamper liner and some other random things next week. The blanket though is my major accomplishment... I can't believe I actually knew enough about sewing to do it!

It's very light. In fact, I have one just like it my mom made me a few years ago and that's where I got the inspiration for it. It's the patterned fabric on one side and flannel on the other.

So, I am very proud. Makes me wonder if I will start sewing more... umm, maybe ;) if I have time... lol.

back by popular demand

Sooooooo, since I decided to privatize my blog I've had a few people complain that they won't be able to get auto updated as to when I actually post...

A long time ago I had it set up for email subscription and even though the blog is private, it seems to still work! Therefore, I've inserted a link at the top right corner of the page so that you can still subscribe to the blog. As long as you use the email you log in with it should work for you :)



Click on the link and it will prompt you to enter your email in order to sign up. Hope it works! :)