Saturday, May 9, 2009

happy with who I am

While i was growing up, and in high school I had a horrible self-image. As most teens do. I was never extremely overweight, but i was never at the weight I actually should be. And in my mind, that was as bad as being 500 pounds.

When I was a freshman, I clearly remember overhearing a senior girl talking to her friends one day and telling them how she had weighed 152 and lost 20 pounds and oh thank God, because I was such a blimp. Great for my self-esteem as I already weighed more than her max at 152.

Looking back at pictures now, I realize that I was not a big kid. That at best if i had just joined a sport, I would have toned up and look fabulous. But due to my severe lack of physical dexterity and coordination, team sports were something more humiliating to me than the weight I kept as a tradeoff.

I've learned a lot over the years about learning to be happy with my body, but I've also learned that it's not about being happy, but truly valuing what God's given you.

That being said, I know now that just being happy with my weight or my appearance aren't enough. That is why I have been making changes in my lifestyle to keep my body healthy while not worrying so much about how it actually looks. When motivated to change by outward appearances, the work is hard and the results are often negligible.

I've tried many ways to lose weight in my short lifetime but decided over a year ago that I would die fat before I would be known as "the constant dieter." Life's too short for dieting!

So instead friends, make healthy changes. Start small and work your way into it. If you try diving in head first and immersing yourself in unfamiliar surroundings you will no doubt be screaming for air (or massive amounts of devil's food cake more likely) within a week or even days!

At this point in the post, I feel as though I should be writing out a list of things I've done to ease into a healthier lifestyle, but I don't know if I even can... we've made a lot of changes in my household the last couple years... I don't even remember where we started.

I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that if you just stop eating potato chips, or cut out any one thing, you will lose weight and forevermore be happy and healthy. I have definitely made a lot of stops on the way to where I'm at now with my eating and care of my body, and I have a lot more to make.

What I will tell you though, is that it's more about your focus than your results. If you change your eating and lifestyle so that you can lose weight or look better, the fact is, you will most likely not make it to your goal weight. However, if your focus is based on reading your body and learning about what is good for you, and what is not and earnestly desiring to care for yourself the way God intended you to, you will most likely begin to see your body change as a side effect.

Mostly, since I am offering only personal experience, I hope that this post will be encouraging to those of you who read it. I hope that it might cause some of you who feel trapped in your body to think outside the box and feel energized that it's not about how you look, but being a good steward of what you've been given that's important.


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3 extraordinary comments:

Goldylocks May 9, 2009 at 10:48 PM  

Oh girl I hear ya.

I used to think I was FAT in high school. I would KILL now to be the weight I was 12 years ago.

So stupid I was...so stupid.

Patrice May 10, 2009 at 1:22 AM  

I can so relate to this post! I have always had a very poor body image, and often make the mistake of trying to diet or reach a goal weight. This post really inspires me to just focus on getting healthy rather than putting numbers on it or something. Thank you for posting this!

Debbie June 21, 2009 at 7:40 AM  

this is such an inspiring post, Honey. thanks for posting it -- although i'm just now getting around to reading it. i should read your posts ALL the time but don't realize half the time when you put one up. we've come a long way, haven't we, in eating more healthy. i'm happy to have had you for an inspiration in this department and now feel i'm well on my way to a permanent healthy lifestyle. done with garbage... at least as a habitual thing. i love you and am so proud of the young woman you've become!

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