Yes it's true (part 4)

I may officially be the worst blogger ever. I mean, who starts a story like this and drags it out for over a month? On the flip side though, maybe it's all part of my strategy ;)

Anyways, I have had a draft of part 4 sitting here for about a week now, and I decided it was getting too detailed and a little bit out of control. So I'm tweaking out some of the negligent details (well, they're not negligent to me, but I still want to have a readership when this is over ha!) and move on.

So, from where I left off, I fast forward 2 weeks when Steve went to my parents and asked if he could marry me.

And of course they said yes :) What else could they say?! I mean seriously, there is not a more perfect man for me, our lives have grown together putting me in a place where I often ask myself how I thought my life was good before.

Now, I will move along to the story of the proposal. Since that is the reason I began this story to begin with!

I woke up on Wednesday November 25 with a knot in my stomach. I had this feeling that it would be the last day I would spend without a ring on my finger. I sat around for a few hours stewing about it, then finally called Andrea and asked if I could come over. I wanted her to take a picture of my hands without a ring...



I even thought in the back of my mind that it was kind of a goofy thing to do, but I'm glad I did, because there's something special about having that memory :) and it was really cool that I did it based on a feeling that "today was the day" and I was right :)

I thought I had it all figured out too, I was sure I knew how he would propose, but I was totally wrong ;)

It was the day before Thanksgiving and we were planning to go buy a Christmas tree. Yes, I'm a crazy Christmas person. I love Christmas, and the day before Thanksgiving is most definitely not too early to get a tree ;)

Before we set out to get the tree, I had convinced myself that at some point he would most definitely propose while we were out searching. And I'm not gonna lie and say I wasn't a little disappointed that it was raining when we got there. I thought, what a horrible dreary way to get engaged! But thankfully, Steve's awesome, and that wasn't his plan anyways :)



I picked out the perfect tree immediately... but Steve said he didn't think it would fit in my apartment boo :(



But this one was perfect :) There wasn't really anything about this tree that I didn't like! it was a good size and a really nice shape





Cutting down a Christmas tree I don't remember having done before. It was so cool to actually go out in the field and pick it out then cut it down. When I was little we went and picked out a tree a few times when we didn't put up the artificial one but they were always pre-cut. Well, except the year my dad cut the pine tree down in our back yard ROFL



We were a little wet when we were finally done, but still happy :) How could I not be? hehe :)

We drove back to my apartment and put the tree in the stand, gave it some water and headed to Steve's family's house for pre-thanksgiving dinner.

Meanwhile...



Melissa and Melissa were breaking into my apartment and decorating my tree!



As well as putting together this amazing centerpiece that I had been talking about creating for a couple weeks already. Steve went out and collected the branches and spray painted them sliver, left them with Melissa and then they set them up so cute with the ornaments hanging on them, LOVED IT!!! (ps I also love pringles, but unfortunately those were not part of the proposal)



While they were waiting for Steve and me to get back, melissa was messing with her camera and taking pictures of my ring :D



Then, the finishing touch was put on the tree. A heart shaped ornament that Steve had made with our names on it and the date that we were to get engaged.

When we walked into the apartment a little later, the centerpiece on the kitchen table immediately caught my attention. Like to the point where I was just gushing about how amazing it was and how much I loved it, and omg how in the world did you do this!?!? Melissa has to be around here somewhere!

Ultimately, he had to physically turn me to face the living room whereupon I saw the tree and all of a sudden it all made sense! But I still had no idea where the ring was! I thought he had it and was going to give it to me, so I totally missed it when I was looking at the ornament! He picked it up off the tree though and then I saw it and just couldn't believe how beautiful it was!

It was literally exactly what I wanted! I had shown him a picture of the style I liked and then Melissa had offered to go ring shopping with him. I was totally blown away that it was so perfect and amazingly enough, although I felt inside my heart that "today was the day" I was still surprised completely. I had no idea he would do something like that and it was perfect for me :)



We went right back to his family's house and shared our exciting news and then on to my parents to tell them too! What a wonderful way it was to spend our first holiday together :) I had thought that he would wait til Christmas, but I'm so inexplicably happy that he proposed when he did.



When we first got engaged we thought we had already settled on a date for september, but within a few weeks we decided on a different date and are making plans to be married on May 22, 2010. Plans are keeping me busy in this otherwise notsobusy time of year for me and I am just loving realizing each and every day that soon I will be married to the absolute love of my life.

The changes that have happened to me over the last few months truly boggle my mind. I couldn't be happier though... God has been so good to me and I am blessed beyond what I could imagine

Yes it's true (part 3)

When I first began writing this story, I had no intention of breaking it into parts. However, I quite like the suspense that builds with each retelling of all the little details. Plus, who wants to sit and read about my love story for an hour straight? ;)

If you've missed any of this, you can catch up here (part 1) and here (part 2)

So where was I?... Ah yes, broken-hearted. Definitely a problem, for sure. As all of this had come out of the blue. I had no idea that my world would be turned upside down in just a matter of a few weeks. I went from preaching that I was totally fine on my own to on the verge of falling head over heels in love with someone who was loving me back even faster than I was falling myself!

After that first day spent apart, we began a streak of seeing each other so many consecutive days in a row that I started counting the days we hadn't seen each other *grin*

On day 15 he said to me, "Is it too soon to say I love you?" And while I was surprised to hear those words come out of his mouth, I smiled so wide if I'd left it that way, my face would have hurt! I told him, "no, not if you mean it..." And we did.

Who ever said there was a time limit on love anyways? There was no question in my heart that I loved him. I felt, socially, that our time-line was progressing at a dangerous speed, but there were no red flags other than what I felt other people were thinking. And I've definitely never been one to change my mind based soley on other people's judgements.

When I would sit and pray and still my heart before the Lord, I felt so much peace. No apprehension, no laying awake so long at night my stomach began to hurt, no unrest at the fact that the tight grasp I had maintained on my heart was loosening just enough to let someone else have a chance to see it...

The only part about it all that made me apprehensive was the fact that people around me would joke about marriage, when I felt completely unable to joke with Steve about it. It wasn't a joke to me... I mean, girls get laughs out of implicating themselves and others in "perfect relationships" and projecting their thoughts onto friends of what their weddings will look like, but for the first time in my life, I had no desire to do any of that with my friends. If I was going to talk marriage, I wanted to talk to him... which is most definitely, a good thing :)

After a whole 3 weeks of dating, we sat down and had *the* conversation about marriage. Neither of us saw or felt any reason to remain in the transition of dating indefinitely and decided that we would keep moving forward in our relationship regardless of what the time-line looked like.

The morning after that conversation, I told Melissa that she could talk to him about ring shopping... to which my response came from Steve in a text message saying something like, "I'm getting a 4 page text from Melissa right now lol!" Oh Melissa... :)

to be continued...

Yes it's true (part 2)

He had already asked me where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner and I picked one of my favorite restaurants, Aladdin. When we were done, Andrea called to tell me she had finished baking me a flourless chocolate cake so we headed over to pick it up. That cake was so yumtastic, however, the combination of extreme chocolate and espresso was not a happy one for sleep that night so I didn't eat much.

We still had a lot of evening left, so decided to watch a movie and then he was headed out. Just before he was about to leave he asked me if I would go out with him and before I could even think twice I was both feet in. I knew my answer was yes and any questions or doubts I had been having disappeared at that moment.

The next day was a whirlwind. Let me just say that I am SO glad that I will never have to live out another day like that. I was getting phone calls like crazy, people who were in shock about the fact that I had seeming no love interest and then all of a sudden appear to be in a relationship after almost 7 years of no dating. By the end of the day I was kind of a mess. I was freaking out, wondering what I had gotten myself into, where was this going and what happens if this doesn't work. What if being in a relationship just wasn't for me?

I'm being brutally honest here, because honestly, I think too many people think that finding someone to love is the be all end all. I didn't think that. I was scared and a little freaked out that the way I was used to living my life would go out the window. And I just wasn't sure I was willing to give that up.

That first day after he asked me to date him was the longest we've spent apart since then. And it was indeed probably the worst albeit most productive time spent apart so far. Worst because I was left to my own crazy thoughts and over-analytical mind. Most productive because I had the opportunity to let all my fears rise to the surface and face them.

What it boiled down to was that I was seeing how good Steve would be to me and for me. and that to try and live my life without him at that point would truly break my heart.

to be continued...

Yes it's true (part 1)

I got engaged!

And some may think that my delay in posting all the details about this reflects my excitement on the mattter, but that is just not the case let me assure you :)

It was 3 weeks ago today, but the whole story began about 4 months ago. Crazy how much (but really how little) time has gone by!

I met Steve through my friend Andrea at the end of August. He is a photographer and has equipment that neither myself or Andrea has... and I was in need of some help for a wedding I was shooting. So I got his number and gave him a call out of the blue to ask if I could rent some camera equipment... all details of that aside, fast forward a week or so and we had started hanging out occasionally. He was a cool guy, and I could see him being a really good friend to me. I like friends, always good to find new ones :) right?

In the middle of September, I went to Vermont with Andrea and her two girls. My texting far surpassed any records I had previously reached that trip. I felt bad on the one hand that I was texting soooo much, seriously, how rude could I be? ;) But i didn't care at the same time. I was getting to know this guy and really starting to like him. We were connecting and joking and I was really enjoying having the "company" all the time :)

By the time we came back from Vermont, I was thinking that having a relationship with someone that was mainly via text message was totally unacceptable. I needed to hang out with him more, or not be friends. Because I didn't want to pour my time into something that wasn't real.

So hang out we did.

I was totally torn. Because as much as I didn't want to admit it, I was developing feelings for him and I had done this too many times before where the other didn't reciprocate that I just didn't want to go there again. So I convinced myself that I didn't like him. And that I needed to tell him so.

Thankfully, my mom, the voice of reason in my life, gave me sage advice telling me that I needed to make sure of my feelings before I went and told him I didn't have any. I could ruin a really good friendship...

I chewed on that for a day or so... And finally thought, who am I kidding? I totally like this guy. And it would totally break my heart to not have him in my life. I was done for...

But where was he in all of this? I had no clue how he felt. I thought that he was interested because of the amount of time he would spend talking to me over text and then when we would hang out etc, but in the back of my mind I kept telling myself that he probably talks to everyone just the same, and I'm just another girl blah blah blah.

Turns out I was wrong :) And I'm so glad I was

On October 5th Steve's grandpa died. When he told me, I asked him when the funeral or the calling hours were so that I could come show support. Turned out, the calling hours were for family only... but he would like if I could come... And it would be easier for us to go together because after the calling hours, there was the funeral, the burial and the wake. So it would make sense to just do it all. At first my mouth was just hanging open. I thought, are you kidding me? I just wanted to be there for you in any way I could, I didn't expect to be initiated into his family via a funeral, especially since neither of us had expressed feelings for each other.

Well, the day came and went and at the restaurant we had the wake at, his dad openly welcomed me into the family and said how happy he was that Steve and I were becoming such good friends.

In the back of my mind, I feel like this should have stereotypically freaked me out. But it didn't. I was so comfortable with everything. I was happy that his dad said that... it made me feel so wanted! And it also made me think that maybe I wasn't a crazy woman thinking that I had feelings he didn't share with me.

Later that evening we went for a walk and between the pounding in my ears and my absolutely dry mouth I said something like this, "so, your whole family thinks we're together..." to which he responded by saying something like, "well, I told them we were friends." At that point, I freaked out inside for about 10.2 seconds thinking WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!? WE JUST SPENT THE WHOLE DAY TOGETHER AT A FAMILY FUNCTION AND WE'RE JUST FRIENDS?!?!?!!?!

I calmed down though enough to think more *ahem* rationally, and decided that if he wanted to talk to me about this, that he would. And i needed to just let it go.

Later on still, he asked me what I was going to be doing the next day for my birthday, and I told him that my mom and melissa were coming over and we were going for lunch and that was about it. He asked if I wanted to go to dinner to celebrate, so I said that yes, of course I would like that :)

Aaaall day long I wondered if this was a real date or if this was him just being a good friend. When he showed up that night with flowers and a birthday present, I was like umm, yes, this is a real date :)

to be continued...