Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

blessed

I began writing this post over 4 months ago and didn't have the ability to finish it well... sometimes this kind of thing just has to sit and marinate for awhile... but here it is now :)

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I've been so blessed by the comments received on my wedding invitations. I can tell you with much sincerity that our hearts are written out in those invitations. Steve and I are so amazed at what God has given us in these past few months as we've moved from meeting, to dating, to engagement and now soon to marriage. Our relationship has bloomed from hesitant hellos to loving embraces and I stand in complete awe at how gracious God is to show me such true and honest love.

What I want to write about though is more of a rabbit trail off this topic. Though it very much relates to my relationship with Steve and the promises of God. I may go on a couple tangents here but if you care to see this through to the end I hope to wrap up in a way that brings hope to the hurting.

So I begin...

I had always believed from the bottom of my heart that my Grandma Boss would be alive to see my first baby. And in preparation for that she made a baby blanket for that day.

I never saw that blanket, but I know it's there... even though Grandma isn't anymore. When the day comes for me to receive that blanket I know I'll totally lose it as it will be the way that Grandma shares that day with me. I loved all of my grandparents, but I had a very special bond with my Grandma Boss.

She and my Grandpa moved into live with my family in 1996. Grandpa passed away in the summer of '98 but Grandma stayed with us. She was a constant in our home. A quiet woman, with words that would throw you off every now and again. She kept us on our toes determined to retain her identity even with weakening bones from osteoporosis and several bouts with breast cancer. She was always cleaning her apartment, having her friends over and cooking her own meals... climbing on counters to reach the top shelf (until my mom would catch her and beg her to ask someone to help her do those things!) She was fiesty but you would never know it to look at her. She prayed daily. We knew that if Grandma Boss was praying for it, it would happen. She knew the Lord and He knew her. My mom has spent many mornings in the chair she used to pray in waiting on the Lord knowing he had met Grandma there so many times before.

When she passed away in February 2006, through tears, we celebrated knowing she was once again with her love and safe in the arms of Jesus. At her funeral we did everything we knew she would want but never ask for.

OK, now, that was not all irrelevant, but mostly I said all that to tell you about her favorite song. An old hymn, His Eye Is On The Sparrow.

In April of this year Steve and I went to a marriage conference that my parents had given us tickets to as a Christmas gift. I was skeptical at first because quite honestly the fact that we weren't married yet and my pre-conceived notions about marriage conferences being for people who had problems in their marriage ran around in my head. I had no idea what to expect, but what we experienced that weekend was truly inspiring. I saw that yes, people who have problems in their marriage could very well benefit from a conference such as the one we attended, but at the same time, if more couples attended them while not having problems they may be able to head them off before they start!

It was full of fun stories from the speakers and great resources and activities that we did together. It wasn't awkward at all... except when the one couple we knew there that was from our church started making comments about our future sex life... however, NOT the conference's problem ;)

During one of the sessions the speaker told a moving story about how he was able to connect with the amazing grace and love that God pours over us and it was through a song. I realized as the first note passed over his lips that it was His Eye is on the Sparrow, and tears began to roll from my eyes. It wasn't the person singing the song but what he said about it... and the message the song brings.

I realized in that same moment that on our wedding invitations was the small symbol in the form of a sparrow... and my heart felt light.

When I began the process of working on a design for our invitations, I told Maureen (my friend who made them) that my desire was to be able to incorporate something about my grandma that noone would really catch on to but that I would always know was there. I wanted her to be a part of our day...

And as I received comments from my lovely readers saying that they loved the sparrow it still had not clicked. When I heard the speaker sing that song it all hit at once.

I found that His eye really is on the sparrow looking after my deepest thoughts, hopes and desires. And I knew in my heart that on our wedding day my Grandma was able to be right there with us in spirit.

So although it was an unintentional detail, I was so unbelievably reminded of God's supernatural love and ability to watch over even the smallest things. Here are the words to the wonderful hymn...

  1. Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
    Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heav’n and home,
    When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He:
    His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
    His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
    • Refrain:
      I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,
      For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
  2. “Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
    And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
    Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
    His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
    His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
  3. Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
    When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
    I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
    His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
    His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

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Monday, June 21, 2010

more than a flower

Reading my blog this month you may have guessed that I'm a little obsessed with peonies {grin} They were in my bouquet for my wedding and since then I have been picking them as they bloom and placing them all over my apartment...

And sad as it is that they're all dying off now, I am reminded how beautiful the different stages of life are. We see them blossom so bright and colorful in the spring and as the days wear on, I start taking for granted their presence... as with anything too much of a good thing can get boring :)

I am glad to look forward to the reminder of happiness these flowers bring me next spring...

peony on the nightstand

And hopeful that with their return I will have grown in my life... with God, with Steve, with my friends and in my heart.

peonies and sea stars


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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

revelation song

I have few words today... this song is where my heart has been the last few days.



Amazing how such simple words can usher the presence of the Lord so powerfully. I'm resting in His grace and peace today.


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Friday, October 9, 2009

Broken

Hi, I'm Amanda and I've been broken.

Not just once... more times than I can remember, or even want to.

I am blessed though, so thankful for the life I've been given. I'll explain here so you understand what I mean.

I've never gotten to a place where I wanted to give up on everything. Thankfully I've always had the strength of others around me to lift me up and lead me back to the place I know I can be fixed.

Broken people search for the thing that can fix them. I could list a string of places people turn to for retreat from pain and in times of desperation.

- drugs
- alcohol
- false love
- sex
- cutting
- making everything a joke
- isolation
- perfectionism
- controlling their bodies to the point of disorder and obsession
- eating
- i'm sure there are more...

It's easy to find temporal solutions to the pain we so often feel.

It's easy to fall into a place where all these things are found.

But unfortunately, it's not really easy living a life void of morality. A life void of God.

It's so easy to get wound into the bondage that is offered as a temporal consolation but that is unfortunately exactly what you receive as payment for that reprieve. Bondage.

Here I'd like to offer my thoughts on the subject of laying brokenness in the hands of God.

The truth is that you can't do something that you don't know how to do, right? I mean, most of what we do from day-to-day is something that we have either a) done before OR b) something someone has suggested we try.

Who are the ones you connect most easily with in hard times? People who have gone through the same thing you are going through... and whether what they've done worked or not, chances are, you'll give it a shot.

Problem is, even the most well-intentioned people, the fact remains, hurt people end up hurting people.

The times in my life I have found peace and refuge have not been the times I've run to everyone and everything but God. I think that total dependence on God is a misconceived notion by those who have not experienced Christ's healing and peace.

When Jesus died on the cross, he was beaten, broken, mocked and shamed. Why would God allow all these things to happen to His Son? I mean seriously. A loving God who would allow His one and only Son go through all this. There had to be a reason.

The concept of atonement is found in many religions, and in the Bible, before Jesus died on the Cross, it was necessary to sacrifice animals to atone for the sin that lived among the people. The only way to God was through sacrifice and death. The catch with all this is that the animals they sacrificed were imperfect... like us. Therefore there was a constant need for this process of sacrifice to repeat.

Jesus, unlike us, was spotless. Sinless. Perfect in every way. He was God's Son. Born of the virgin Mary. If there could only be one perfect sacrifice, there would never be a need for sacrifice again.

Jesus was that solution... He is the solution to our cycle of broken.

He was broken for us.

We are healed because He was broken in our place.

It is totally impossible for us to ever fully comprehend the extent of the grace God extends to us... because we are human. Our minds cannot fully conceive the nature of God.

A few years ago I ran across Isaiah 40:28 verse at a very low point. I felt condemned, broken, hurt and totally unworthy of God's love.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding noone can fathom."

Did you catch it? understanding NOONE can fathom.

Seriously, for me that's like God saying, "hold up, you have no idea what I'm capable of. I feel everything you do. I know what you're feeling better than you do. And I get it."

This realization literally brings me to my knees and often to tears. Realizing that I have found a God so unbelievably relevant and concerned with me. His love is amazing. He cares about the silly things that I care about. Every.Single.One.

sailboats on the lake at sunset

I'll leave you with this. I can't help but remain breathless in the majesty of our God. The one who came down from his place in Heaven to break his only Son that we might have a chance at living a life redeemed of sin and brokenness.

I serve an amazing God...


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Monday, April 20, 2009

reprioritizing

Lately i've been working on transitioning my life in a lot of ways and feeling the burden of a lot of other things as I do so.

- I'm preparing to take on my business full-time
- really working at getting my body more healthy
- getting ready for melissa's wedding (who am i kidding, if i think that is a transition for me what the heck is it to her then!)
- working with the youth group
- working in general

while that list looks quite small, it takes up most all of my brain space.

This creates a problem. I unfortunately am letting a few things fall between the cracks... mainly, my spiritual life. My walk with God.

I have been thinking for literally weeks now that I am doing so well focusing on just a few things, that if I try to add anything else in (including God) I will fail... at something.

Who am I kidding?

Seriously.

How do I suppose I have gotten to the place where I am today. It is incomprehensible to me to try and understand how the gifts I have inside of me burning a hole through every part of my life have not been given to me by God.

How could I think that the person I am is not affected by the God who created me?

I feel like a loser for thinking that one of the things I could "cut out" would be God. I know God doesn't think I'm a loser, because I am confident (and I earnestly mean that) that He is understanding of my downfalls and is still there when I get my head screwed on straight.

If i've learned anything through the discipline it's taken to get my butt off the couch and run it's been that it's exactly that.

Discipline.

At first, I would run everyday. Because I was afraid if I didn't, I would quit. Or i would lose momentum and not be able to get back on. It's been 9 weeks and I have gone from barely being able to run 30 seconds at a time to running almost 3 miles yesterday!

I look forward to running now! I love the feeling of being outdoors and going and going and going. I feel like nothing can stop me and I am so confident that what I'm doing is good for my mind, body and dare I say it, my soul.

Enough is enough. I know that I possess the discipline it takes to be close to God. and walking with God isn't a discipline once you get past the point of waiting in the silence. There is only so much silence before you start to hear... So, that's it. Choosing the life of a Christian is not something I do only as a religious conviction, although I know that being a Christian gives me a moral compass that I would truly be a mess without...

It's about getting to know the One who gave me desire. Passion. Energy. Ideas and creativity.

And that's pretty much it. Getting to know Him... because without Him, I'm nothing.


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Friday, January 16, 2009

who am i? my life story, up to this point

A few days ago, I was reading MckMama's blog and she had written a post that outlined the highlights in the history of her life. I really liked the idea, so i have decided to follow suit and am going to replicate my own version of the same thing. sooooo, here goes... who is Amanda?

In the beginning of October 1984, i am born. I was the third child born into our small family and the first girl. My dad had prayed for a little girl, and has never let me forget that I was the answer to that prayer. My family was in the process of growing again after the 13 years that separated me from my older brother, the second born, and not long after my birth, my little brother Dan made his arrival known.

Just before Dan was born in the spring of 1986 I fell on the road and landed on my chin while running with my hands in my pockets at 18 months old. We didn't know it at the time, but that fall left me with a whiplash that later on had some serious repercussions.

Dan was born in July 1986 and i was 21 months old. This is my second earliest memory, as falling on my chin was the first. I remember them both clear as day. And I remember that my dad didn't want my to hold little danny... wonder why... haha

December 1986, i got my first baby doll and named her Katie.

The first rememberance I have of inviting Jesus to live in my heart was at this time as well. Some may think that's too young, or that i cannot possibly remember well enough, or have comprehended what i was doing, but i disagree. I was well aware of what I did, and was very intentional about it :)

June 1987, my oldest brother Rob, graduated from high-school and joined the Navy. He boarded a bus to Florida for nuclear training and I remember being sad for the first time in my life. He was my best bud up to that point.

January 1989, the first Bush became president and my older brother Jay was a senior in high-school. I convinced my mom to let me cut my hair short and began kindergarten that fall... successfully starting a brand new generation of gradeshoolers just as my mom was finished with the first!

October of both '89 and '90 I refused to smile for school and/or family pictures, claiming i was "sad that Robbie was gone" or "i could hear baby Katie crying."

The next fall, 1991, my mom convinced me that it would "make Robbie happy" if i smiled for my school picture... and so I did.

My grandpa died in 1991 when i was in first grade... i'm sure i was sad at times between this moment and when rob left for the navy, but those are the two times in my young life I recall being changed by that feeling.

1989-1992 I attended public school and upon finding out that I didn't know how to add, my mom decided to homeschool me for awhile so that I would catch up.

As with many homeschool families, I went back and forth between skipping grades and then not. My younger brother did in fact skip a grade, but as time went by my parents let him stay back where he belonged as it was just too much pressure for such a youngster :)

I stayed right on track with my schooling for the 6 years we homeschooled.

Summer of 1992 Barney and friends came out on pbs and i was almost in 3rd grade. Completely unacceptable for someone of my age to enjoy such a juvenile show. I loved it.

Late 1992 my brother Jay met Kathleen. They were engaged early 1993 and married that June. I was a junior bridesmaid.

Later that year, I began having some serious health problems. I would black out on a regular basis, many days up to 30 times. I had appointments and neuro scans and ekg's and eeg's and everything else you could imagine. They could NOT figure out what was wrong with me.

When my first niece was born shortly after my 10th birthday in 1994, I was not even allowed to hold her standing up, because everyone was afraid i would black out and fall over. I began taking iron, and for a time, that seemed to help. But it was only a band-aid.

Summer 1995 rolled around and I made my first plane ride. To SanDiego, California for my brother Rob's wedding to Dyan. We found out after the wedding in July, that they had previously eloped April 13th in Hawaii (as that was where they both lived at the time) and were consequently 8 weeks pregnant at the time of the wedding in July... with TWINS!

The doctor visits continued until finally I saw an allergist and everything fell into place. It turned out I had many environmental allergies which were causing my equilibrium to be completely off balance, and as a result of the whiplash i sustained at 18 months, my body could not adjust to the changes.

I started seeing a chiropractor regularly at age 10. After just a couple months of treatment and beginning allergy shots, I was completely normal!

*please, no snide comments regarding that last statement*

This is kinda where things start getting blurry, I don't remember much from age 10-14, but I'm going to highlight what I do.

In 1996, my family decided to make a move to a new house that would allow my grandma and grandpa to come live with us. As we made this transition, it was very hard for me... in almost every way.

I lacked friends because we moved, and because I was homeschooled, making new friends was near impossible. I did however, manage to make a few, and survived the next couple years. By the time i entered 8th grade in 1997, my mom had taken a position as a part time secretary at a local church and my studies became more than either of us were able to keep up with. Nothing being wrong with any of it, or homeschooling in general, it just became clear that I needed to enter into a school where I would have more available for my education.

Beginning of 1998, my younger brother and I entered a small private Christian school not far from where we lived. Most of that year i spent friendless, as I felt very insecure about myself and the idea that others would like me or want to be friends with me was foreign. Where in the world did this thinking come from? I still haven't figured it out, except that maybe i was a normal typical teenager? Ha!

Yearbooks came out a month before school let out for the summer and I made an effort to both pass mine around as much as I dared as well as sign others. One girl, named Beka, signed my yearbook and stated that we should "get together over the summer." the highlight of my year.

We did hang out that hot 1999 summer and we quickly became good friends. All while eating bologna and potato chips on the beach and getting sun burnt...

Fall 2000 came, and i entered 10th grade more confident than ever because, now, I had someone who wanted to be MY friend. We spent the year coming up with inside jokes and watching eachother move through the growing pains of teenhood.

2001, she had a boyfriend, and in my desperate attempt to keep up, I befriended a certain boy. Although we never dated, the thought had crossed my mind, but always in the back of it there was a nagging voice telling me to stay away. I unfortunately pushed it aside far too many times and ended up hurting myself a lot.

In march 2001, I got my driver's license. woohoo! Freedom! well, not so much, but in my 16 year old mind it was.

Later on that year, my dad received his third diagnosis of cancer. This one being far worse than the previous times. In 1998, he had one of his kidneys removed due to kidney cancer and he also had a small surgery on a patch of skin cancer. This time though, it was lymphoma. Virtually a death sentence.

My parents sat down with me just before my senior year of school began in September 2001 and told me the news. I have tried very hard to speculate and come to conclusions about what happened that year, trying not to blame my lack of emotion on anything... but the only thing I can come to is that I completely blocked out that there was anything wrong at all. I really don't remember anything about his cancer...

It was the worst year (as a whole) of my life to date. I have since had hard times, but that was all in all the worst year I remember.

I began dating a guy in the beginning of 2002. One that I thought i would marry. In fact, when summer rolled around, I was graduated and he had a year on me, he bought a ring. However, as I began to weigh in all the facts, realizing that a proposal was imminent, I freaked out. I realized that I was 17 years old, in a first-time relationship and was allowing myself to leave nothing hanging in the balance. My future was set if i stayed with him. I would be married by 19 and surely have a child shortly thereafter... factoring in many other things, I felt highly unprepared to take all that on. I broke up with him just 8 months after we started dating.

Thanksgiving 2002, I flew to Hawaii to visit my brother Rob and his family. Dyan and their 3 kids. Up to that point, I had never been anywhere tropical, and now, having travelled quite a bit, have still never gone to a more beautiful place.

Upon arriving back home, I had a mess to deal with. The friends that I had built my life around before, during, and after my breakup, were proving to be less than a good influence. A few well-remembered mishaps sent the entire lot of them out of my life. I chose to lose them all... and I chose to be alone. I had noone for that time.

It forced me to a place with the Lord that I had not known. I began hearing his voice and understanding who he was in my life. I felt called to attend a Bible school for a year.

In the meantime that year, 2002-2003 I worked at a more high end photography studio initially as just a type of assistant for any and all jobs, which turned into a position that I loved more than any job i've had since (save my own photography business) I worked on all the production work, so basically everything that happened with the pictures after they were taken. I loved that job and would have loved to stay on, but it just wasn't the right thing for me at the time. There were also a lot of things going on that I didn't catch onto because of my age... all in all, I am glad to have had the experience, but would not want to go back and revisit.

In August 2003, I moved into the dorms of this Bible school, and my life changed forever. I made a few good friends there and my life with God changed. Looking back, I regret having allowed myself to participate in all the surrounding drama, but realize that God was truly there... and I wouldn't trade that.

Christmas 2003 marked our second trip to Hawaii as my brother was still stationed there. What an awesome break to go somewhere that beautiful and tropical in the mid winter. As it stood, I still wore a sweatshirt the entire time I was there... people think i'm nuts, but what can I say, once I get cold, it's hard to get warm again!

January 2004, we arrived back to snow and ice, my core temperature was barely back to normal. Within days of returning I received a phone call one saturday morning that resulted in my heroic fall off the top bunk whereupon i broke my right foot. I swear, I never thought it would ever get back to normal. I quickly forgot what it was like to walk without pain, that thought that i would never be able to walk fast or run again. And just in case you didn't put two and two together, ice and crutches and living on the 3rd floor with no elevator... not a good combination.

I had planned to attend the Bible school for 3 years, but when we let out for the summer months in April 2004, I realized that I was either going to a) start making a ton more money than I was or b) live at home instead of on campus. When my request to live off campus was denied, I decided that I couldn't go back and started thinking about my next move.

I heard about a job at the local ADT office and decided to apply if only just to make some money while I figured out what to do. I was hired in June 2004 with the understanding that I would not start until mid-august as I had taken a 6 week position at the summer camp I went to as a kid. I spent the better part of that summer with girls of all ages and making new friendships and learning lessons (some harder than others)

August 2004... ADT began, and my life consequently came to a halt. I am not one to complain all that often, but I hated that job. I liked it at times but all in all, it was just awful. I finished up there just 8 months in and continued working at a photography studio much like Sears or JCPenney. I worked 3 Christmases there and have vowed to never work in the mall during Christmas again.

During this time, I began taking classes at the local community college... I spent 3 consecutive semesters there studying graphic design and taking a couple photography classes as well.

2005 I worked another summer as a camp counselor, this time shifting camps in between. I was burnt out by the end of the summer and in September I began my first nanny job for a little tiny 3 month old baby. He's not so little anymore :) His name is Samuel and both him and his family became a very precious part of my life. I look back on those days (although scattered with sleep hell and meltdowns from ahem both michelle and i :) with fondness and am so glad to have those memories.

When summer 2006 rolled around, I began to feel as though I couldn't do the same thing for more than one year at a time... it seemed to be becoming a pattern... and i didn't like it! Yet, I changed things again... I started by taking the entire summer off. it was GREAT!

September 2006, I began working part-time as a teacher's assistant at a local pre-school. I was also selling jewelry for a time and had a lot of fun doing the parties and other such things that go along with that kind of business. I learned an awful lot about running a business, and while I'm no longer doing that particular venue, I am so glad to have had the experience. it's helped me a lot as I've started my photography business.

In Feburary 2007, my life took a turn and changed for what would turn out to be (in my opinion) the most changing experience of my life. I met Maureen, who is the mom of the kids I now take care of full-time. Within the first night of meeting, she had already asked me to come work for her, and I felt from the very beginning that it would be an amazing experience.

I began working for them in June 2007 and although it took me a few months, I soon bonded with their family and now feel as though they are a part of my own.

In July 2007 I travelled outside to country (to somewhere besides Canada) for the first time in my life. I ended up having my passport stamped in both Dubai and India that summer! If Dubai had just been a layover, I would not have considered myself to have actually been there, but seeing as how I was there for over 48 hours and in a hotel most of that time... I was there. Due to unforseen circumstances that trip was the most stressful time of my life and I ended up having some serious physical repercussions as a result of that stress... my hair began falling out in large quantities.

Soo, in September 2007 I chopped it off. Looking back on the pictures, I can see why noone else really noticed... but man, did I. It was awful. It finally, a year and a half later has gotten back to pretty much normal and I'm tempted to try growing it out once again. Note to self for future - don't get stressed out!

As fall began to set in, I realized I needed an outlet for my creativity. I took a drawing class (and two others that I can't remember haha!) and also started this blog. I remember sitting down to try and start it and having no idea what to write... that didn't last long!

The year moved on, and soon, 2008 rolled around. I was so inspired by all the beautiful pictures I saw on other people's blogs who didn't seem to be a whole lot different than me and decided to pick up my digital rebel again. Would you believe that still at this time, I was sort of embarassed to carry it around. And in all honesty, that's the real reason I bought a Canon digital elph just a year after purchasing my rebel.

I had that rebel for over 3 years before I started putting it to use. I wanted originally because I have always loved photography... but it seemed the more i learned about photography the more I realized i didn't know. Normally, I would tell anyone else who said that to me that they were crazy and to go for it. I mean, how in the world will you ever learn if you don't pursue it!

January, February, March 2008. I baked, and began the lovely art of capturing my confections. Then, mid March, Michelle came to me again and insisted that I take some pictures of her while she was still pregnant with the Queen Bee. I honestly did not want to do it... but she talked me into it. And knowing how artistic and creative she is herself, I went along with it. And this was the result.

I couldn't have been happier... it didn't take me long to start thinking that I wanted to get better at this. I knew i still had a lot to learn... so why not just learn it. Then, long about May, I bought my first real lens.

Lest this become the story of the last year and how I became a photographer, I am going to wrap up the rest of last year and save the future for, well, the future. Who knows what it will hold.

My best friend from high-school got married in May 2008 and I travelled once again out of the country, but this time to Mexico.

January 2009, I am learning more and more every day about the things I love most. I am growing into a more understanding and (hopefully) patient girl. I am learning that loving people is not always easy... sometimes it's just what you do. I am becoming more confident in the talent that God has given me. I am hopeful that my future is sustained only by my reliance upon the Lord. And I am hoping that I will never think that i've figured it all out...

That's me :)


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Saturday, December 6, 2008

It's beginning to look like Christmas!

Each year it gets harder for me to get in the Christmas spirit. I believe that the true spirit of Christmas can be found in the eyes of a child. There is a wonder and excitement that is held within their little hearts... and a faith that cannot be matched by years of wisdom.

Children are a piece of heaven on earth... our little ones are so close to God's heart because they've come straight from Him... they're hand-picked, each and every one... and when God lets them enter our lives, it's a reminder to us of how beautiful life is.

I am amazed at God's handiwork and amazing love as I share in the lives of the children I take care of everyday. All too often I get caught up in the stress of life... and I forget how much I can learn from them.

Oh look at me go... bein all sappy and whatnot. I've been feeling quite emotional the last few days. Whether it's the time of year, or hormones or the fact that i'm a stuffer and it's all spilling out now... whatev.

I'll tell ya one thing though. This little boy made my heart melt on Saturday. God is so good to me. Seriously.


What I wouldn't give to have a child like Joshua. He is a complete beauty...

This family found me on craigslist for an ad I posted for Christmas cards. To see the rest of their shoot, go over to the blog.

I'm sure I'll have more blibber blabber to share as the days pass til Christmas... so bear with me. I actually am a very emotional person... I just find that I try not to allow myself to be all that often because it's just too much work! Does anyone know what I mean?!!?!?


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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I *heart* trees

In a recent post, I wrote that I love trees.

Love is actually a very mild and non-descriptive word for how I feel about them.

So I decided to write an entire post dedicated to describing what I DO feel about them.

I know, I know... it sounds kinda silly probably, but me and trees go way back. It's not like one day I woke up and allofasudden decided to love trees.

I remember being as young as 4 years old laying on my bed in the afternoon watching the willow leaves change shape in the wind outside my window. I would pretend that the leaves formed the shape of all kinds of animals and different things that floated through my little mind.

Here's another thing. My mom and dad are very "plant oriented." Since my dad retired from UPS he has worked only part time at a church and spent the REST of his time manicuring our one acre country club lawn. Needless to say, he has a green thumb. I on the otherhand could really care less about the care of plants and other such nonsense. However, I do enjoy them... and since my parents are so well versed in flora and fauna, I often find myself knowing tid-bits of information that other people of my education-level are stunned to find out I know.

Here's an example:

my education-level equivalent: wow that's a really cool plant. I like how the leaves have white centers in that cool/funky pattern.

me: oh yah, that's a josta.

my education-level equivalent: that's a jostaWHO? why the heck do you know this stuff?

me: (here is where I go on to explain my parents love affair with the flora and fauna of the northeast)


All that aside, I'm glad to know these things, somehow it makes me appreciate God's work that much more.

Today was a beautiful day... and I was compelled to take advantage of it since there won't be many more like this for quite a while. I took a blanket outside and laid it under the canopy of trees in the yard and read my Bible and another book that i'm studying right now.

It was seriously amazing. I mean, I used to wonder why I felt so much closer to God in the summer than I do any other time of year. I don't wonder anymore.

When I can be outside, it's like His presence is everywhere... The world is as He made it, and I can't help but enjoy it...



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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

$1000 check

This past week I went to a conference where I heard Bill Johnson speak. I mentioned this in my last post but didn't expand on purpose. I wanted to save those reflections/thoughts for this separate post.

Anyways, i have had a real passion for seeing God work supernaturally ever since I went to India and saw it happening firsthand. I've heard Bill through like dvds of different conferences he has spoken at, but what an opportunity to hear him speak in person.

I am not one to pin greatness on people. And that's not what i'm doing here. I just know that I was seriously impacted by what he had to say and wanted to more or less get my thoughts written down.

So here's the thing. I have seen healings occur, as you've heard me speak of on here in the past, and I have been trying to STILL figure out how to categorize watching the seemingly impossible, happen.

I have heard people say that if you don't believe enough, then someone won't be healed. I have heard people say that people don't get healed because of some greater reason God has in mind...

I don't know that I believe either of those so much.

This is what Bill said that made a ton of sense to me.

So get this:

Jesus already paid for healing when He died on the cross. When we pray for someone to be healed, it's like we're delivering a check that's already been made out to them.

If we are just the carriers, then it wouldn't make a difference whether we believed it would happen or not. Like, if I have a check in my hand for $1000 to give to my friend alicia, and I didn't believe that I was holding a check for $1000, it really wouldn't matter. The fact remains, I am still holding the check for $1000... now I just have to hand it to her.

It's an interesting concept. And while I'm still figuring out how to mentally take in all that I have seen and heard in the last year or so, I am choosing to realize that God is at work among us...

and whether I believe it or not doesn't matter at all...

Which is pretty stinking cool.


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Sunday, August 24, 2008

Josh and Anna

About a year ago, before I was ever even thinking about doing photography professionally, Anna told me that I was going to be taking family pictures for her next (this) summer.

She wanted the baby to be about a year old... although I've been around this last year and we could have done pictures once a month and STILL not captured all the cuteness that makes up Jesse.



So, long about March, I began venturing out in my photography skills... I have been taking pictures on and off for about 6 years... but it's finally turning into a business... and hopefully a profession.

When I talked to Anna about what she wanted these pictures to be, I was so inspired...

Each time I looked through the viewfinder I could imagine just what she was asking me for... and again while I was processing them...

Here, let me just tell you through the pictures

(can you see how their heads form the shape of a heart, I love that :)

She told me that her grandparents were married very young and were such a beautiful example of how love makes life beautiful. They were so in love and the evidence of it has stayed them through the years. There is only one picture of them when they were young and she said what a reminder to her and the rest of her family of how amazing the love was between them.


So while we wanted to shake things up a bit and do some really cool and fun pictures, we still wanted to make sure that we captured the love between them and how it has made the two of them into a family.

Looking at these pictures, imagining that they were taken fifty years ago is really amazing...


I can just see it... and it sobers me to know that the most important part of taking pictures is capturing a moment that will forever be lost in time... but is always going to be a part of our lives... and the way that we will remember that space in time.

Can you see the heart in Jesse's ear here?



This is Judah. It's just so amazing to watch kids grow and learn. He has just turned 3 and his personality is just blossoming. He is great company, and I love hangin out with the kid :)


And how sweet are they together... I found this quote and it fits them... "A brother shares childhood memories and grown-up dreams." -Author Unknown

I know that's the prayer of their parents, and it does my heart good to see kids growing up with such amazing guidance.


I am so thankful and blessed to be able to do pictures like these...I've truly been realizing that it is a God-given gift...

and I want to use it not only to the best of my ability...

but to His glory... cuz He's the reason I can do this in the first place!

If you want to see the rest of their pictures, you can visit my photo blog (that's right folks, not an actual website yet, but it's coming!)


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Saturday, August 23, 2008

I don't "feel" God

Before I went to Mexico, I did a lot of thinking about what I expected to get from the trip. I knew that it would be a great time with a lot of people I was close with. That we would get to reach out to the people down there and pray with them, share with them... etc.

But what I was unsure about was how my emotions were going to react.

Last year I went to India.

It was my first time *ever* travelling internationally, and I was helping to orchestre the travel plans for 19 people.

Hmmm... that doesn't sound like a relaxing time.

It wasn't. In fact, we ended up having serious travel problems that all began with our very first flight being cancelled.

It took us 105 hours to travel what should have taken about 40.

By the time we got there, I was so unbelievably stressed out that I didn't know how to react to anything. Add in the culture shock and I was a complete mess.

Don't get me wrong, my experiences were amazing, and I saw God move over there through us and others in ways I'd never seen before.

However, my emotions were going NUTS! I was a ball of stress... my hair started falling out (literally), I barely slept... I was a mess.

So my first extreme missions experience was just that. Extreme.

It occurred to me shortly after coming home from India that although the trip was unforgettable and really great, I never wanted to do that again. Specifically, I never wanted my emotions and stress levels to get that crazy.

So when I began to think about Mexico and what it held, I started to think about how I was going to deal with the reality that I am very much led by my emotions. I needed to chillax and take some time to recognize that I don't have to feel everything to make it real.

You see, I'm the kind of person where even if i hear someone tell me something a hundred times, I still may not believe it. It sounds pathetic, but I need that constant affirmation. I am learning to deal with it, but it can cause some real insecurity.

Therefore, I have found that when I am not having an emotional experience, I tend to disregard the power of our extraordinary God.

I knew that this was a problem for me, and I specfically decided that I was not going to put God in a box.

I had to realize that whether or not I felt God moving or not was irrelevant.

He still lives and moves among us.

I have never seen God.

I have never seen an angel.

I have never seen a demon.

But I have seen this.

Cancerous tumors physically shrink.

Hair grow back on a lady who had bald spots all over her head.

A little girl who couldn't walk because of a tumor get up and start running all over the place.

Broken hearts healed...

It brings tears to my eyes when I think back on these things... I am seriously tearing up as I write...

My point is this.

God doesn't fit our view of Him.

He's most defintely not hiding Himself from us... but sometimes the places we are looking are too limited...

I see God everyday now.

But I still don't "feel" Him.

I don't know about you, where you're at, what your situation is. But I know that in my life, I've found that when I ask God a question, or for Him to help me with something... the answer isn't how I would always imagine it to be.

I don't hear a booming voice from Heaven...

I don't get this crazy emotional entranced experience where I have a "tada" moment and suddenly know what to do.

Sometimes, the answer comes from someone else's mouth... or a thought that comes to mind...

God is always there...

But he's not always a "feeling"

I'm learning how to see God everywhere I go and in all the things I do. It's amazing to me how much I limit myself and God in everyday life.

Just because I can't feel Him... doesn't mean He's not there.


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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

my personal life is my job

I have yet to reflect *publicly* (meaning "on the blog") about how often I think so many situations would be awesome to blog about.

I usually forget, or simply lack the time. However, I was thinking last night what would it be like if your personal life WAS your job... and I decided to blog about it!

It's an interesting thought. And even as I spoke it out loud to my friend Kristen, she simply responded by saying, "then my job would be pretty boring."

Many working people fall into the category of their jobs becoming their lives. But I wonder how many do that due to lack of time for anything else?

Although I'm 23, I have had enough experience with "corporate America" to safely say that I DO NOT LIKE IT. I began my search for alternate ways to make money as soon as I realized that working for bosses who had bosses who had bosses was about as unfulfilling as I could imagine.

I'm not saying at all that this kind of work is horrible in all situations, I'm just saying that it doesn't work for me.

Along the way to where I'm at now, I have made a lot of mistakes. I've been up and down and everywhere in between. I've tried new things, succeeded at some, failed at many.

Out of all the things I have fallen short of succeeding, the most noteworthy is that I have failed to lose my tenacity to seek after God's purpose for me.

The most important aspect of how I live is that I know who I am and I believe in living a purposeful life.

I believe that God will truly give me the desires of my heart when I seek Him.

I believe that my life has meaning beyond what I do every day.

I believe that if I listen, God will speak to me.

He will explain the things that I can't, and show me things unseen.

I want to live my life so that when I die, I will have somehow made a difference for God.

The more I seek after God and announce to Him that I am continually willing to do what He asks me to do, the more I see blessing come on my life.

My personal life became my job when I decided to surrender my life to God and watch Him use me to make a difference in this life. Because really, that's all that matters to me.


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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Ministry

We were able to hold 7 services in the 10 days that we were in Morelia. I honestly had no idea what that would look like before we went down, and it kind of made me a little nervous not knowing. However, I can say without any hesitation that if I were only able to do this kind of ministry for the rest of my life, that would be ok. It was effective, powerful and completely life-changing.




We went to three different towns surrounding Morelia. Charo, Huandacareo and Santiago. In each of the towns we held 2 services over the course of 2 days, and we held one other service at the prison in Morelia. Since it was dark out at the time of most of the services, I only have good pictures of the ministry time from Charo. So all of these pictures are from that town and the second night of minstry.

I received an email today from Tim, one of the team members that included a detailed account of MANY of the healings and miracles we experienced and saw while there. So as not to overwhelm you with the account, I have decided to include only the testimonies from Charo.

Here they are... please take the time to read through them. Even for me, reading them through again has built my faith in the power of God... it's truly amazing what He can do if we only ask...


"A man came up for prayer and coughed up a fishbone he had stuck in his throat for 2 weeks. He was planning on getting it removed at the hospital."

"A woman came up for prayer for diabetes/high blood pressure. God touched her, and she felt like a movement in her stomach. Her husband came up and received prayer. They were planning on a divorce after 20 years of marriage, and God reconciled their marriage in that moment."

"A woman came up for prayer, and it was discovered she had a spirit of infirmity. She was prayed for on Friday with limited results. Sunday she came back and was delivered."

"A man received prayer for middle back pain. He was wasting his money on drugs and alcohol, and was led in a prayer of repentance for wasting God’s resources. After that, the Holy Spirit healed his back immediately!"


"A man brought some team members to his house, where his mother was on her deathbed. When they arrived, she was in the fetal position on a bed, could not talk, and could not move her arms. She was paralyzed on her right side from a stroke. When they prayed, the atmosphere in the house immediately changed, and she was awake and alert. She was able to have limited movement in her arm. Two days later, some of us returned to her house, and she was awake and alert, and had no more paralysis. We prayed and spoke life to their home, and she started smiling, laughing, and even talking! She asked for several team members to sit on the bed, and she was holding their hands and full of the joy of the Lord. She started to hold herself up in a sitting position, and did not want us to leave. Her son was a very angry man, and he was baptized in the love of God. When we left, the son was laughing, smiling, and hugging all of us (he was intimidated by us before), and the woman was full of joy and sitting up in bed!"

"On Friday in Charo, about 10 people gave their lives to the Lord after the outdoor service. On Sunday, an additional 10 or more people received the Lord!"

"A man received prayer who had a wounded and badly infected foot on Friday. He was in much pain every time he walked on it. On Sunday, he came back and with joy told us he had walked a mile to get to the service that day, and had no pain at all in his foot."



A few days after we had visited Charo, the pastor came to see us at the church. His name was Pastor Reuben and he gave us the testimony of what was happening in that town as a result of the team coming and God moving. His church (which only had about 20 members) had more than doubled in a few days time. Over 100 people had come to a saving knowledge of Jesus! He had more people to visit and disciple than he could handle, and he told us that in those 2 days of minstry, there was more work done than in the 15 years he had been working in that town! The Lord is faithful to those who sew their lives into His work!

This lady was one of the people that I made a special connection with. God touched her emotionally and spiritually and healed her on the inside. She recommitted her life to the Lord and I was just so moved by the change that was happening inside of her.

I am so thankful to have witnessed all these miracles... in lives and in people's bodies. Truly unbelievable. My very favorite testimony of healing happened our last night there in Santiago. There was a lady with brain cancer and she had horrible pain as a result. Also her hair was falling out in large patches. The hair wasn't falling out because of chemo but as a side effect of the cancer. A few of the girls were praying for her, and that God would heal her, and she felt the pain go away and when she was feeling her head, she noticed that there was hair where there hadn't been. I SAW IT! It was completely BALD in like huge 3 inch patches and HAIR WAS GROWING THERE! By the time we left, the hair had grown to almost 2 inches long in those spots!

I know that it is unusual to hear about this kind of thing... especially here in the States. I hope that reading this (no matter where you come from) encourages and builds your faith in the miraculous. God is in the business of changing people's lives, and He can change yours too... All you have to do is ASK...


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Saturday, July 5, 2008

future amanda, in real life!

Well I'm here, obviously in Mexico. I want to try and NOT say that over and over again, because i'm sure if you read my blog at all you are well aware of this.

As per my previous post (the 4th of July one) I had said that I would be trying desperately to get online so i could share pictures... however, if there is a "biggest moron of the year" award, then I would surely get it. Please continue reading to find out.

If you're thinking you're smart and are sure you have figured out WHY you won't be seeing any of my pictures until I get home, you probably ARE. I'm the dumb one here. I forgot my card reader. Rendering all my pictures bound to their original home in the camera until I reach my lovely place of residence in NY.

However, with that said, I DO have pictures from some other cameras :) There are ups and downs to having 1 of 3 laptops out of a group of 20 people. One of the ups is that I get to upload all their pictures... it's also one of the downs lol!

This is the back of my team shirt. They are so cool, they look like softball shirts and people thought we were a travelling softball team the whole time we were travelling.

Today we went to Charo which is a smallish town down here. We went to the site where the local church is planning to build and prayer walked all over it. Joshua 14:9 says, "The land on which your feet have walked will be your inheritance and that of your children forever, because you have followed the LORD my God wholeheartedly." And we were believing that for the pastor and his family and his church.

Later on, we went to the actual church (where it is now) and we practiced our dramas, ate lunch and then went out into the town walking door-to-door inviting people to the service that night and then sometimes praying for them. It was a powerful set-up for the outcome that we had for the service.

Here's a notsoextraordinary picture of myself... but there's a lot going on in it so that's why i picked it to go on here. You get a little feel of the town we were in and some of the people around me.

The actual service itself was incredible. It's one of those things where I forget how powerful God really is and how he can use ordinary people to do extraordinary things. With everything we did today, and as uncomfortable as I felt, I couldn't help but see how God was working in people's hearts. We did 3 dramas, which I'll talk more about later probably. They made such a huge impact and by the time one of the other leaders preached a message, the people who wanted to receive healing and/or Jesus into their hearts was phenominal.

I was able to pray for two different people and it was just amazing to watch God work in their hearts with no thanks to me... I was seriously at a loss for what to say... my mind was blank and it was like i forgot how to pray. But God was still there and I can't explain the way that feels.

I am so glad to be able to get on here and write these things down. It's so good for me to have a sort of journal like this because I don't know if I would ever write it down any other way :) Tomorrow we are going into one of the mountain villages... extremely poor and under-privileged... I'll use my other camera tomorrow too so that I can get a few shots that I can actually upload at some point before I come home :)


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Sunday, June 29, 2008

get ready

If you read my blog, please take a moment and prepare yourself for the fact that 78% of my post content for the next couple weeks will have to do with Mexico.

Why is that you might ask?

Because I'm SO going there in 4 days!

I thought I would write a bit about what I'll be doing there and why I'm going etc before I inundate your reader or bloglines with random pictures and info about Mexico.

Last summer I went on my first missions trip to India. It was incredible - and seriously life-changing. My perspective of the world changed dramatically as a result of the trip. I realized a lot of things about the way I live my life that I would like to change. I want my life to make a difference in this world. I don't want to necessarily be recognized for some great achievement, I just want to know that when I'm gone, my efforts will affect the next generation... and maybe even further.

When I think about stuff that way, it's easy to see how inconsequential so many things I have and the things I do day to day are.

I've always been more of a "big picture" type thinker, and I understand that not everyone is like that. So since going to India and seeing more of what my life could look like if I hadn't been born in America into a home with so much opportunity, I've been trying to see what things I can do and how I can use my time and energy to make a difference in the world.

In the meantime, I decided I really wanted to travel more to other countries and get a feel for different cultures. Not only that but I want to be obedient to God's call in my life. Enter Mexico.

I really feel that this trip is a stepping stone for me and it definitely is stretching me past my comfort zone. It already has! We are going to be doing some sweet dramas and to say that I wasn't a "drama person" would be an understatement. But I'm having so much fun with it, and I'm really happy that I've been forced into doing it because I never would have done it voluntarily :)

While we're down there we'll be doing some work projects, working with some kids and the most exciting part for me is that we're actually going to be travelling to a village. Ok, I live in a village... what's the big deal? Well, going to a village in an underdeveloped country is the best way to see what life is really like... where the cultural differences really stand out... and where the people are most excited to see you. I can't wait to go and get to stumble my way through conversations and get to meet kids and sing and play with them... it makes me smile just thinking about it!

One of the best parts of this trip though is that we have been able to really plan ahead with what we'll leave behind when we go. We were able to budget in all the money we would need for the work projects so that when we get down there it won't be like "ok here we are, but we need you to pay for everything..." Yah that's not really a blessing. The other thing is that we knew that they need a sound system, so we were also able to budget that in and get a really nice one... good for like 300-500 people. I'm pretty stoked about that... it's one thing to go and do good stuff, but it's another thing to be able to leave permanent things behind.

AHH! Can you tell I'm excited yet?!?!

I think that's enough pre-explaining rambling. You get the idea :) We'll be down there from July 2nd - 13th and we'll be working with a church down there, Vida Abundante. If you think to pray for me as I travel or while I'm down there I would so appreciate that. Like I said before I will one of these days write about my travel woes on the way to India... that made me believe that prayer is necessary... always :)


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Tuesday, June 3, 2008

the contest, rules and a prize!

***Posting date is Monday, June 23. When you visit, scroll to the bottom of the post and then add your name and url to Mister Linky. Then visit the other links to see what everyone else did!***


Thanks to the help of a few friends, I have come up with a giveaway and what you have to do to win!

However, comma, before I go ahead with said giveaway, I want to be sure that there is enough interest out there. And since I'm not hugely blogtopular (made up word by mwah) I want AT LEAST 5 people to comment on here that you will participate.

So here it is. The theme is "things you can't live without."

And the way I want this represented is on a scale of percentages. You might remember the pie chart I made last week as an intro to this giveaway/contest thingy.

What you need to do is come up with a list of the "things you can't live without" there's no limit as to how many things that might actually be. Then they need to be prioritized and assigned a percentage that will ultimately add up to 100%.

Now the way you choose to represent this is up to you. You might do a pie chart like I did, or come up with something else cool and creative. You could add photos if you wanted to, or add in a story... anything you come up with is ok as long as in the end it satisfies the requirment of adding up to 100%.

The winner will be picked by me *maniacal laughter ensues* haha just kidding... I am going to pick a winner based on creativity and originality.

On to the prize! I thought long and hard about what the prize should be and I think I came up with a good one. I wanted it to be meaningful to the contest, and since two of the things I can't live without are Jesus and music, I thought this fit the criteria. It's a new cd from Jonathan Stockstill and the Deluge Band. I first started hearing this album about 2 months ago and couldn't help but be grasped by the powerful worship. I won a $15 itunes gift card from Kim and used some of it to download this album.

So I wanted to share the love as it were. I tried and tried to find a link to any of the songs online so I could share a preview of it with you, but alas I failed. I ended up having to make my OWN video thingy for it so i could upload it on blogger.

Anyways, I picked 3 out of 14 tracks for you to sample. So turn up your sound and start listening :) I removed the music player from my page for awhile so that it doesn't interfere with this post.

Please don't forget to comment back and let me know whether or not you're interested in participating! I need YOU to make this work!!!


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Thursday, April 10, 2008

here comes the sun

and all i have to say is that it better stay!

it only went cloudy for a couple hours this morning and that is when i realized how utterly dependent i am upon these sunny days. I don't know what to do because frankly, it freaks me out to think that every year for the rest of my life i may have to endure a 6 month winter.

A couple years ago i went through some soul searching and asking God to help me to deal with my rollercoaster emotions during the winter months, and I really feel that He has. I have not had so much trouble the last 2 winters, however, now that we're coming out of it... I am scared to think that this nice weather will only last a few months and back to winter it goes!

I am seeing, even as I am writing this, that God does indeed give us grace to go through the things that we are going through. and right now, the grace has run out! So that's what I'm going to bank on... that when winter comes again next year, i'll have a new measure that God's saved up for me... cuz otherwise i'm not sure i could handle it.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Adventures in Odyssey

When I was probably 7 years or so, I remember going to Alpha and Omega (the local Christian bookstore) with my mom and she would most often let us pick something out. Usually we would pick out a Superbook video or something like that, but i remember clear as it was yesterday picking out my first Adventures in Odyssey album.


Upon bringing it home, i proceeded to listen to every tape, in order, until i had finished. Then i did it again... and again, and again. I listened to those tapes over and over. Honestly I'm surprised that they still play! At any rate, when I was that young i never thought about how much of an impact they would have on my life. I grew up with the characters, and still listened to the episodes regularly until i was about 13 or 14.

I remember crying when the real Mr. Whitaker died and they replaced him... but I'm glad they did because really Whit's End wouldn't have been Whit's End without Whit! Anyways, I said all that to say that even though I am 23, I still love them! In fact, last summer I was able to get them out again and all summer long when the kids and i were in the car, we would listen to them. So when I got my new car and realized that we wouldn't be able to listen to the tapes anymore (since it doesn't have a tape deck) I immediately thought that I would just have to buy some on CD.

I went to two Christian bookstores and they were both priced the same. The series that i wanted was a compilation of the best adventures from the last 20 years and it was priced $40 instead of the regular volumes which were $25. I was trying to justify the cost, when my great friend Melissa suggested that I look on Amazon. They were so much cheaper! At any rate, i ended up getting 2 albums, the platinum one and then I think the most recent volume, and I got BOTH for $42!

I'm so happy! I never would have thought that first day i picked up the album off the shelf that 16 years later i would still be loving each and every adventure as much as I did then. If you haven't ever listened to any of the series, i would suggest that you look into it for your kids. They portray fictional people with real problems and 100% Godly solutions... I'm so glad that my mom got them for us when we were so young!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Easter Morning

Yes, that's what this morning is... and while I should be in the shower and worrying about what i'm actually going to wear, i'm here instead blogging. Oops. Anyways, I thought I would share a few thoughts on Easter. Reflection if you will.

I love that we have the same holidays every year. I used to think that as I got older they would become more and more monotonous, but I have found just the opposite. I see that each time a holiday, like Christmas or Easter comes around, I actually am able to stop and think about the reasons that we celebrate them to begin with. It's a time to remember all the reasons I live my life the way I do.

As much as it makes me cry when I actually think about what Jesus did on the cross, I find myself returning to that place of rememberance every year. Last night we went to a passion play and upon seeing the sight of Jesus on the cross a few thoughts ran through my mind. I thought that this is kind of sick that we so often reenact such a gruesome story... but then I realized, that what Jesus did was horrible. And we need to be harshly reminded at times...

Jesus death on the cross was so much more than death. In fact, it's not even about death. It was all about life. He died so that we could live! and the best part about the whole thing was that he didn't even stay dead! How awesome is that!? I'm not serving some dead guy in a tomb. Nope, I'm serving the one who rose from the grave on the third day and is still alive in my heart!

Enjoy this glorious Easter morning!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Me in DC

While we were in DC, I decided to update my pictures at the different monuments. Although I have been to the city numerous times in the past few years, I don't have any pictures since I was about 13.

Here we were driving through the city, past the Washington Monument (aka Pencil) and I took this out the moon roof on my new car!


This is me on the steps of the Jefferson Memorial.


I took this on the steps of the Jefferson Memorial because I wanted the Pencil in the background. It's all washed out, but it's still cool.


Then here I am in front of the two statues at both the Jefferson and Lincoln Memorials.


This is a shot i took of the Vietnam Memorial Wall. I don't actually know anyone on the wall, but it's a sobering sight to look at.


I love DC. I don't know what it is exactly about the city, but I love going there. The history represented there just makes me feel closer to the country that I live in. With all the hard realities that we face everyday, and all the bad things that are happening in the world around us, it's nice to go back to a place that reminds you of where we came from and the heritage that we possess. Many people in this country do not claim themselves to be under God anymore, but I do.

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