Thursday, January 19, 2012

I'm still pregnant and that's ok

You know how it works. As you go through life and watch others handle their own, you silently make your own resolutions about how you would do things different/better. I'm not even talking about being judgemental, I'm talking more about learning from other people's likes and dislikes what you like or dislike yourself.

Well, for me, documenting my pregnancy was one of those things I was sure I would be stellar at. Oh yes, I would take adorable belly shots and blog about sentimental things all the time and all that jazz. Well, at 39 weeks and 5 days I certainly feel like a failure in that department!

The truth is, whenever I felt the need to take a picture (which would be only on a day that I weighed myself and felt that it was appropriate and also HAD to be on a day that coincided with the change of a new week, ie exactly 17 weeks, not 17+4 or something like that) Yes, I'm a little OCD like that. So basically, most pictures have been taken spur of the moment, not all cutesie tootsie like I had in mind... and whatever. Who cares? At least I took pictures.

Anyways, the other thing I feel somewhat bad about is that I didn't document all the different stages etc. I guess I never felt like it because I honestly felt like crap for so long I was sick of complaining and that seemed like just one more way to complain. I threw up consistently through 7 months. Then it tapered off to more like a couple times a month, and still, that's the case. But at least I don't feel nauseous. It's all business here, get it done and over with and then I feel fine. And really, who wants to hear a daily log of how I threw up, again.

There are a lot of things I have enjoyed while being pregnant. The truth is, I can't honestly say I enjoy getting and being sick, but it's a constant reminder that better days are ahead. I've wanted this baby for my whole life. Dreamt of what it would be like to have and hold this beautiful creation... as well as the days of angst and strife that necessarily come along with parenting ;) I want it all! Really. So that's helped me keep it in perspective.

I've enjoyed dreaming up her nursery and making that a reality as well as choosing her name and preparing my heart and home for her. Watching Steve grow to love this little baby we can't actually see has been quite honestly one of my favorite parts of being married so far. I really don't understand at this point why people would be so cautious to bring children into a loving relationship, because so far it's only made us love each other more... and appreciate what we have together. I know that with the arrival of this new little one I am going to be thankful that I have a constant reminder of the love we share... yes, I'm a total sap like that :)

Anyways, this is the part where I tell you how I thought I was in labor last week. On Wednesday I was throwing up and had diarrhea as well as an extreme need to nest. I got everything that wasn't ready, ready. I did laundry, packed what I needed for the hospital, shaved my legs (let me tell you, that was interesting) brought the car seat down (which Steve later put in the car) and was like BAM, I am ready to go!

We even put the bassinet in our room and when I went to bed that night, this is what I found curled up in there ;)


It was a week early though! Could it really be? Well, I also had visited the chiropracter that afternoon and thought, well if she's ready to come out, this will certainly set it off. Thursday afternoon, I went out shopping with my mom. For things like toilet paper and crackers. The essentials ya know? My mom was with me and kept commenting on how it was making her uncomfortable watching me walk... LOL. I was having lots and lots of braxton hicks, but that is common for when I walk around a lot. I started noticing a little later on that my lower back was hurting along with the bh contractions. And I thought hmmmm... that could actually be a sign I'm in early labor.

So, I called my midwife and gave her a heads up that maybe possibly I could be. She told me that if I wanted to come in and get checked that I could, but I really didn't. I wanted to wait until I was more sure... and I already had a scheduled appointment for the next morning. I figured I'd just wait until then.

We decided by bedtime to give my mother in law a call to update her since she lives about 5 hours away and let her know things may be getting a move on. She was very excited, as this is in fact her first grandchild and immediately drove out here! Well, I went to the midwife in the morning, still having bh but my back was not so sore anymore. And I thought well, maybe it's waning down, who knows. Turns out I had been progressing at least somewhat, I was dilated about 1.5 cm and almost completely effaced, I lost my mucus plug and all that. But by friday night, nada. There wasn't a blessed thing going on. So by sunday evening, my mother in law decided to head back home and save her vacation time for when baby actually does arrive :) I am glad, because now, thursday, I would have been sad to see her not have any time left to spend with the baby!


This is from yesterday, 39w4d. And btw I don't think it's actually possible that I could drop any lower. I carried low my whole pregnancy, but at this point, I just don't see how lower is physically possible... ha!

So like I said, it's now thursday and nothing is going on. Just waiting :) I am happy to wait, because I know that someday I will miss her little body flipping about inside of mine, but at the same time, I'll be happy to hold her in my arms :)


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Christmas Day 2011

This is now my second Christmas married, and I have come to a conclusion about it. It's really profound, so get ready.

Married Christmases are different than single Christmases.

Yep, it's true.

Both lovely in their own way, but adjusting to the change was/is a little challenging.

Last year it took me by surprise. I had no idea how hard it would be to spend Christmas away from my Mom and Dad. I was irrationally emotional and didn't even understand myself what was going on. I totally didn't expect to react that way. But this year I prepared myself a bit better, and best of all, I got to spend Christmas with both sets of my parents :)


It was a wonderfully simple day. We hosted Christmas morning at our house where we had brunch, reflected on why we celebrate Christmas and then opened our gifts.



It was a really special Christmas to me in a couple ways, but the biggest reason was because of the gift we've been given this year that we haven't been able to see yet.

{insert baby's name here}


Oh how I wish I could just say her name! But for some reason, I just don't want to until she's born. However, if you ask me, I'll tell you ;) Most everyone around me knows her by name already!

It seemed as though everyone had put thought into including little miss into this Christmas and it was fun to open a few special presents for her... or for her Daddy ;)



Steve and I each received a very special present this year to remind us of this time in our lives. This is from my Mom and Dad...


and this was from me to Steve {but it was really from the baby ;)}



I had wanted to save this for when the baby was actually born, but decided that Christmas was more than appropriate :)

After Christmas morning wrapped up, we spent the afternoon playing with some new toys and relaxing. Later that evening Steve and his Mom and Dad and I went to my parents house where we had Christmas dinner with them and my brother Dan.

We shared a lot of stories along with favorite Christmas memories and I was really blessed by Steve's Dad's account of his favorite Christmas... the one Steve was born. It really touched me to see and feel how much love we have in our family and I am overflowing with thankfulness that we get to bring this baby into our lives and home where it will be so loved and cherished.

Remembering that Christmas is truly about the Love of Christ is how I reckon myself with the lack of "Christmas Spirit" I felt this year. Somehow, not feeling the "hustle and bustle" so much this year made me realize that the love we have for each other and from God is the best gift we can ever give/receive.

Merry Christmas everyone :)


Sunday, January 8, 2012

2011 recap

01. Where did you begin 2011?
I had a hard time remembering this one, but once I finally did it makes sense why I don't remember. I was really sick layin on the couch. Some of my super friends brought me some goodies, but I didn't really even feel good enough to eat them :/

02. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Got pregnant! I feel this is going to be a recurring answer in some way or another...

03. What was your status by Valentine’s Day?
Happily enjoying being married

04. Were you in school (anytime this year)?
No thank goodness

05. How did you earn your money?
I continued doing photography as well as nannying. And when I pulled the numbers together for taxes a few days ago realized I made a lot more than I thought! that was nice :)

06. Did you have to go to the hospital?
To have a couple ultrasounds :)

07. Did you have any encounters with the police?
Yes unfortunately... "rolling" a stop sign...

08. Where did you go on holidays?
We decided to go down to Maryland for Thanksgiving because we were going to stay in for Christmas. It was a good decision because by Christmas and very near the end of my pregnancy travelling or sleeping somewhere other than my own bed has become quite difficult ;) Truthfully though, who am I kidding, sleeping in my own bed is difficult right now lol

09. What did you purchase that was over $1000?
A house and a car

10. Did you know anybody who got married?
Steve's brother Mike and our friends Amy and Brian

11. Did you know anyone that passed away?

12. Did you know anyone who had a baby?
Several people did!

13. Did you move?
Yes, into our first house! It has been great living here too

14. What concerts/shows did you go to?

15. Are you registered to vote?
I was, but now that I've moved I'm not sure anymore... I should probably find out before fall!

16. Where do you live now?

17. Describe your birthday.
We went to a bed and breakfast called the Red Door Inn where we stayed 1 night. We went to a small Italian restaurant that evening and enjoyed our time in the Inn. It was a very warm weekend and definitely one I'll remember for a long time

18. What’s one thing you thought you’d never do, but did in 2011?
hmmm, I don't know if I did anything I never thought I'd do... everything big, like having a baby, buying a house and all were things that I have always wanted to do...

19. What has been your favorite moment?
The day I found out I was pregnant, May 19th :)

20. What’s something you learned about yourself?
I really am happier being married than I've ever been in any other state of life

21. Any new additions to your family?
only inside the womb :) she's due to come out soon though!

22. What was your best month?
hmmm, probably May when we had just moved into the new house and found out about the baby :)

23. What was your worst month?
June, July and August... lots and lots of nausea and sickness :(

24. What music will you remember 2011 by?
nothing that stands out

25. Who has been your best drinking buddy?
My baby I guess, she's given me a lot more reason to drink water, I often feel like I can't get enough!

26. Made new friends?
not really anyone new, just made better friendships with people I've known awhile

27. Lost friends?
Yes unfortunately

28. Favorite night out?
my birthday night

30. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter
iii. richer or poorer? Richer in so many ways!

31. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 19, the day I found out about my baby :)


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