Saturday, January 31, 2009

two birthdays, one day

I guess January is the month... for double birthdays!

Today you turn 8, Nick. I remember my 8th birthday like it was yesterday...

I'm sure you hear this all the time, but I can't believe how fast you are growing up! you may be the youngest, but you are not a baby anymore... and you haven't been for a long time.

You bring so much spirit and life to our family, I can't imagine us without you...

You are so handsome and such a good boy. I pray that you will grow up into a good man and that you will learn to love Jesus the way that He loves you...

I hope that you're having a wonderful time with Grandma and Grandpa while they're down visiting :)

I love you very much Nick Bean!



the big 6-OH

Even as I write it, I"m wondering if it's acceptable for someone other than my mom to be referring to today as the...

big 6-OH.

hmmm... I'll get back to ya on that one.

As for the rest of this post, it's goin out to you, mom :) Happy Birthday

I have been saving these pictures for such a post as this for quite some time now. Remember when we went out for ice cream back in August and then sat on the porch to eat it? and i kept taking your picture... hahaha well here they are!

Mom, I'm so privileged and glad to have you as my mom. I know that when you had me you could not have imagined that 24 years later we would still be living in the same house... i swear, i'm not a failure to launch :)

I'm so glad for the time i have with you, and the time that I will have in the coming years. I don't know what I would do without you...

I'd flounder around far more than any person should (more than i do already that is ;)

When I look at pictures like these, I realize that you will truly always be young... it doesn't matter how many years go by. you are young at heart, and it's such an inspiration to look at you and know I have someone to model my life after. Thank you for who you are and all you've become, Mom.

I love you!


random picture challenge

I wanted to join Brittany's random picture challenge last week, but I wasn't home all day and while I had my laptop, I am unable to keep files past the last 2 or 3 months as there are just too many! So today, I am at home with my external hard drive and am able to participate!

So, today's random picture is coming from November 2007, 44th picture.

ahhh... alicia. she's going to love me for posting this... maybe she'll never find out... doubtful

anyways, this was taken at mendon ponds last year and we took many goofy pictures that day. this one is relatively benign compared to the rest ha!

If you want to join, or see some other random pictures, go over to 4 little men and join up.


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

but officer, I swear, I was only going 79!

oh, if only that had been the case lol!

I sit here today to tell you the tale of what happened to me just the other day as I was on my way to a consult. I decided to cross from one main route to the other on this horrible road that is 35 the entire stretch, even though it's like a serious back road.

Just as I started out, a cop pulled out of the fire station and was behind me. Not because i had done anything wrong... yet.

I was going all of about 40 (in the 35 mind you) and the cop was tailing me. and i got nervous, because i have in fact had cops pass me in situations like that. this was my line of thinking (wrong as it may be) "maybe since he's TAIL-GATING me, he isn't concerned about the speed and has somewhere to go."

At this point, I eased up to 45, thinking very conciously, I will not go faster than this!

Well, dontcha know, his lights came on. I pulled over and instead of pulling up behind me, he pulled up next to me. he rolled down his window and said to me, "are you aware this is a 35 and not a 55."

I chose my words carefully so as not be come across as rude or anything and said yes, I'm sorry about that, i know i was going 45...

and with that, he says this, "well! i was on my way somewhere, but if you're going to argue with me like that, I'll just pull over and give you a ticket!" (feel free to insert an attitude in that tone of voice)

He came up to my window and asked for license/reg etc and I apologized saying that I was not trying to argue and I'm sorry that it came across disrespectful, that was not my intent.

He continued to speak with a raised voice at me and state that if i had just said ok, and chosen not to argue with him, he wouldn't even need to be standing here right now. But since I was looking for a fight, he was gonna make me pay the price (meaning the ticket)

He very rudely suggested that i "put my car in park" as I had forgotten to do so and was sitting there with just my foot on the brake...

It was about this point that I realized he was indeed about to write me a ticket. So I wanted to clarify what exactly he was writing it for. If he was claiming that I was going 55, I was not going to take that without a fight. So i asked sir, are you going to put 55 on the ticket? He stated YES.

I said, i'm sorry sir, I'm honestly not trying to be argumentative, but I have to disagree with that claim. I was going 45 at the most and I can't see how you could catch me going 55 since I just wasn't going that fast. (fyi, I'm pretty sure that 15 over in nys is a misdemeanor, so i woulda been in a wholelottatrouble for a 20 over ticket)

He said i was going 55 because he was going at least that to catch up to me. riiiiiiiight. and anyone who has any brains in their head knows that you have to go faster than the person in front of you to catch up. HELLO?!

Anyways, it was so odd. I could not for the life of me figure out why he was being so rude to me. I've personally found cops to be very formal and non-personal, but i felt very attacked. In fact, had i now known better, I would have probably gotten out of my car just so that I could stand up because he was making me feel so puny.

Finally, after a minute or two of exchange like this, where I am apologizing etc and him calling me argumentative and belligerent he decided not to give me a ticket but suggested that i DRIVE SAFE TODAY (in a very patronizing tone)

ugh. I wish i could look back on this post and say, "now amanda, really. you don't have to exagerrate in this way to get your point across"... but honestly, this is not an exagerration. He followed me for awhile before I finally turned into one of the school's to just get rid of him already having thought of a legit reason to go in there in case he wanted to follow me further.

I was thinking about this all day and wondering if maybe that cop never intended to give me a ticket to begin with. That the whole thing was a show to intimidate me? I wonder if cops use this kind of "warning tactic" to just scare people into driving safer without having to hassle with tickets and courts etc.

Has this kind of thing happened to anyone else?


25 random things

So, I've been tagged no less than 4 times for the same meme on facebook, so i decided I would do it... and then i decided to post it on here. Besides, i'm interested to see if i actually CAN come up with 25 things about me... and still keep it mildly interesting...

1. i hate (and when I say hate, i mean LOOOOOOOOOOOOAAATTHHHEEEE!) cold weather

2. i don't feel the need to use proper punctuation, or capitalization when emailing, blogging, or anything related to the internet. i will use commas if i want, and if i don't feel like it then gosh darn it, i won't

3. im a nanny and i very often think to myself that i do not want to have kids of my own... but then i'll be putting one of em to bed and as i lay down for a little cuddling, i realize that all the whining and annoying things they can do are totally erased with a little reminder of how precious they are... i will totally be having kids one day... maybe just not one day soon :)

4. we have propane space heaters in a few rooms in my house. so instead of cranking the thermostat, i shut myself in one of the rooms and turn on the heater. last night the final resting temperature before i left for my cold bedroom was 95 degrees

5. with that said, i was born for a tropical climate

6. i always wanted to be good at playing a musical instrument... turns out i'm not

7. i like things to be in order. and if they can't be in order, then it ends up being mass chaos. i'm trying to learn how to find a middle ground

8. i have 3 brothers, 2 sister-in-laws, 3 nieces, 4 nephews, 2 parents, and no more living grandparents

9. i love getting phone calls. even from people that call me all the time

10. I've been to 4 foreign countries in the last 2 years

11. i don't know how to drive a stick and i don't care to learn

12. I have had my hair many different colors over the years, but this is the first time i have liked a color enough to actually maintain it by doing my roots EVERY 4 WEEKS! ps i do it myself because going to a salon to get it done would be KUH-RAZYYY!

13. i love eating black olives straight out of the can14. same with garbanzo beans

15. when i was little, my mom didn't trust me with chapstick because i would eat it

16. i learned how to type with a typing program when i was little but never got any good at it until i got email when i was 13

17. i like photography. but only a little bit

18. my favorite color is the rainbow

19. i hate hannah montana. but i like miley cyrus

20. i always have wished that i could have traded places with my brothers and been born first so i would have baby brothers and sisters... but then i realize i would be like 38 and i'm ok with 24 right now...

21. i love stuff that has turtles on it. but i don't so much care for actual real live turtles

22. i want to learn more about middle eastern cultures, that part of the world fascinates me

23. i've never been one to shower everyday... and i probably never will

24. i love dvr's, they save SO much time. i feel like my tv watching is far more purposeful wen i can watch a pre-recorded show... no stupid commercials!

25. i think that i would secretly like to be an interior designer


Monday, January 26, 2009

you had your chance...

now it's time to vote! There are 4 names in the sidebar from the suggestions that I received in this post. I have a favorite, but i'm not telling what it is.

So go ahead and VOTE! Let me know what you think... my fishy is starting to have a complex about the no-name thing. At least it's started eating again...


Friday, January 23, 2009

13 years ago...

our family changed forever.

And although it happened sooner than we would have liked, the fact remains, today is their birthday.

The idea of having twins in our family was one of the most exciting things I could think of. The word twin simply defines the relationship between two people born on the same day. Little did I know that each of these two babies born that day would become so very unique and individual.

To think that they are 13 today makes me kinda freak out on the inside a little! I now have 2 teenage nieces and 1 teenage nephew... should I feel old? They are older than I was when they were born after all... :)

Raelynn, you are a sweetheart. I wish so much that I could see you more often, but the time we get together is more than I could ask for.

You are a beautiful girl with so many amazing talents inside of you. I pray that you will know God and let him help you as you go through the rest of your growing up years and beyond.

Robbie, I'm so thankful to have had you in my life for so many years. One of the best parts of becoming an aunt so young is getting to grow up with you :)

You are such a good boy and I can tell that you are growing up to be an amazing man. That's right! You have a heart of gold and that's hard to find. Don't ever forget how special you are to me and this family.

I love you both so much! I hope you have a wonderful birthday with all of your friends... now that the house is clean ;)


I am so special

I've never been one to claim super-powers or have esp. However, it's always been in the back of my mind... an uncanny ability i've never talked much about. I've been working on this gift for years and finally, i've perfected the art to a point where I am not ashamed to announce publicly that...

I am a Jedi Master.

Ok, well maybe not a master, but surely, a Jedi.

Let me explain.

Today, I went to lunch with Melissa and she ordered ahead of me. I have an extreme aversion to buying soda. Like, I never have been a big soda drinker, I will drink it every now and again, but i feel like it's such a waste of money. Especially when you can buy a 2 liter bottle for less than a "large" at most restaraunts.

But i was thirsty, and I am afraid I have a small caffeine addiction, but it's not like i have to have it every day or something. Every once in awhile I'm just like, man i need a mocha, or a latte... usually I don't want the soda form. But today, the thought of spending $5 on a gourmet coffee was not appealing, so I chose soda.

Being the soda cheapskate I am, I looked at Melissa's drink, which was a large, and hesitantly decided that I could go with just a small.

That's right, a small.

This is where it all begins. Remember I said that I hesitantly decided that i would like a small... Well, in that moment of hesitation, I jedi mind-tricked her.

She charged me for a small, I paid, and as she turned and reached for the small cup her hand eased around the stack and picked up a large.


and that my friends, is how I know that I am now a Jedi. booya!


Thursday, January 22, 2009

name that fish

A couple weeks ago, Andy really wanted a fish. So they bought him a very pretty betta. Well, I loved the vase the fish now lives in so much that I decided I wanted one of my own.

Yesterday, I went out on a mission. Find a fish.

Buy everything that goes with a fish.

I found me some bamboo and a vase that I just loved, but I didn't buy any rocks because I knew that I had enough things like that at home that would work really well.

And when I got home, I dug out this:

This is the sand that I stole from the island of Hawaii like 6 years ago. That's right. We were at Waimea bay on the north shore and the sand was unlike any i'd ever seen before. It was fine, but at the same time as if each piece was it's own stone. Anyways, I loved it so much that I brought a bucket back to the house and then packed it in my suitcase in about 4 layered ziploc bags.

I have used some over the years, but sparingly as I had yet to find the perfect application. This was it! I just love the way it looks in the new fishy house.

Speaking of which, there he is! The new little guy. He's very pretty with that spikey tail thing goin on. And pictures don't really do the color justice. He's a beautiful iridescent blue-green.

So, now I have to come up with a name. But I don't wanna just name it for the heck of it. I have had a lot of fish in my life, and usually the names are just given without much thought.

I decided what I would do is pick out the names I like best (hopefully from some suggestions from you!) and put them all up on a poll to see who likes what.

So leave a comment with a prospective name for my new little fishy :)

I put him in there last night, and he hasn't moved from this spot... I kinda feel bad, cuz i don't know why he isn't moving around. He was very hungry yesterday when I got him home. I think he was being starved. Maybe even a case for fish malnutrition. I cut him off after 10 pieces of food, cuz honestly, enough was enough. I didn't want 'im to explode or something!

Hopefully tonight when I get home he will be a bit happier. I heard you can train bettas to do simple tricks... hmmmm... we'll see about that

Anyways, I wanna know what you think! Who does he look like to you?


what does the inside of a charge-port look like?

Just in case you've ever asked yourself that question, well this is the post for you.

I have the answer. Since I have indeed seen the inside of one. As of last night.

You see, the last several weeks, the battery on my beloved chocolate phone. I have had horrible luck with the chocolate family. I first lost the most beautiful white chocolate phone on a plane coming back from Brazil, which was replaced by the original chocolate. I am currently writing about my 6th replacement chocolate phone. They are junk, don't ever get one! (however, it's my favorite phone to date, still. I love the phone, if it only worked well!)

Day after day, the battery drains... and each day, the amount of time that takes gets shorter and shorter. I have been recharging a couple times a day up until the last 2 weeks. Where I have been recharging multiple times a day as I am no longer able to make a phone call lasting not even 10 minutes on a full charge before it dies.

Honestly, this was really ok. We are up for an upgrade on february 10th, so I figured just stick it out til then and I'll get a good deal on a new phone. However, there is another problem.

Last night I noticed that when I put the charger in the phone, it wasn't making contact and charging. Upon further inspection, I realized that the entire contact that is supposed to be inside the phone was actually attached to the charger and no longer in the phone. So I took it off and attempted to replace it inside the little port hole.

No dice. It still wasn't working. I kept messing with it and moving it around, until finally, I got it back in. But it was in too far. So now, not only does the battery not hold a charge, but I can't even charge it to get the short amount of life it does hold!

I called the store up today to see if they would let me upgrade sooner, but they said I would be forfeiting my $100 credit... so i decided to just wait til the 10th. Thankfully, my good friend Jim just got the new enV2 and had a spare phone which he is so kindly allowing me to use.

So now, I have a phone that works yay! and I am very excited about getting a new phone in a couple weeks. hmmmm... what should i get?


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

check it out

even though i haven't been posting pictures here, I've been posting quite a few lately over here.

Today, i have the day off and am planning to go out and take pictures... key word. Planning.

We'll see how that goes haha


Tuesday, January 20, 2009


Just thought I should let you know, i need to get off my butt and start taking some pictures!

That's all.


blind leading the blind...

the title of this post surely reflects the fact that i could not think of anything better for a title. the basis for this post is the cool little widget that sits on my sidebar just below my picture.

The followers widget

Just today (as i was sitting in the bathroom, tmi, i know) I was pondering, how/why I now have people following my blog who i don't know. what's worse is that it seems some of them don't even have blogs themselves! well, maybe you do, but it doesn't always link to your profile.

And sometimes (this next one drives me crazy) i will get comments from people and i can't respond to them. of course, if i really want to respond, i'll sometimes be all stalkerific and find their email on facebook... but that's only if we're like somewhat IRL friends (in real life) cuz i'm not friends with people on facebook that i don't actually know... unlike the blogosphere.

So, my point here is this. Currently, out of the 22 followers i have on my blog, I know 11 IRL, 7 are known bloggie friends, 4 i don't know and 2 of those 4 do not appear to even have blogs.

i should be sounding rather obsessive about now... with waaaaay too much time on my hands.

So relax, if that's what you're thinking, then you're right.

Here's another thing. I use google reader, and within that, I can see how many people are actually subscribing to my blog through reader. i have 50!

Anyways, the only thing i want to know is, from the people who i have never corresponded with, or don't already know personally, why are you following my blog? I'm just curious ya know :) And along with that question, I have another

I have never done this because I don't really have a huge comment section waiting after every post, but I will throw this out there... is there anything about me that anyone out there wants to know? I will answer (pretty much) anything... except questions about years 10-14 or of course that incident back in '02 involving my attempt to become a famous movie star by pulling some pretty ridiculous antics... oh wait, that wasn't me.

So, there ya go. Ask away... it will give me some good blogging fuel if nothing else! what do you wanna know about me?


Friday, January 16, 2009

who am i? my life story, up to this point

A few days ago, I was reading MckMama's blog and she had written a post that outlined the highlights in the history of her life. I really liked the idea, so i have decided to follow suit and am going to replicate my own version of the same thing. sooooo, here goes... who is Amanda?

In the beginning of October 1984, i am born. I was the third child born into our small family and the first girl. My dad had prayed for a little girl, and has never let me forget that I was the answer to that prayer. My family was in the process of growing again after the 13 years that separated me from my older brother, the second born, and not long after my birth, my little brother Dan made his arrival known.

Just before Dan was born in the spring of 1986 I fell on the road and landed on my chin while running with my hands in my pockets at 18 months old. We didn't know it at the time, but that fall left me with a whiplash that later on had some serious repercussions.

Dan was born in July 1986 and i was 21 months old. This is my second earliest memory, as falling on my chin was the first. I remember them both clear as day. And I remember that my dad didn't want my to hold little danny... wonder why... haha

December 1986, i got my first baby doll and named her Katie.

The first rememberance I have of inviting Jesus to live in my heart was at this time as well. Some may think that's too young, or that i cannot possibly remember well enough, or have comprehended what i was doing, but i disagree. I was well aware of what I did, and was very intentional about it :)

June 1987, my oldest brother Rob, graduated from high-school and joined the Navy. He boarded a bus to Florida for nuclear training and I remember being sad for the first time in my life. He was my best bud up to that point.

January 1989, the first Bush became president and my older brother Jay was a senior in high-school. I convinced my mom to let me cut my hair short and began kindergarten that fall... successfully starting a brand new generation of gradeshoolers just as my mom was finished with the first!

October of both '89 and '90 I refused to smile for school and/or family pictures, claiming i was "sad that Robbie was gone" or "i could hear baby Katie crying."

The next fall, 1991, my mom convinced me that it would "make Robbie happy" if i smiled for my school picture... and so I did.

My grandpa died in 1991 when i was in first grade... i'm sure i was sad at times between this moment and when rob left for the navy, but those are the two times in my young life I recall being changed by that feeling.

1989-1992 I attended public school and upon finding out that I didn't know how to add, my mom decided to homeschool me for awhile so that I would catch up.

As with many homeschool families, I went back and forth between skipping grades and then not. My younger brother did in fact skip a grade, but as time went by my parents let him stay back where he belonged as it was just too much pressure for such a youngster :)

I stayed right on track with my schooling for the 6 years we homeschooled.

Summer of 1992 Barney and friends came out on pbs and i was almost in 3rd grade. Completely unacceptable for someone of my age to enjoy such a juvenile show. I loved it.

Late 1992 my brother Jay met Kathleen. They were engaged early 1993 and married that June. I was a junior bridesmaid.

Later that year, I began having some serious health problems. I would black out on a regular basis, many days up to 30 times. I had appointments and neuro scans and ekg's and eeg's and everything else you could imagine. They could NOT figure out what was wrong with me.

When my first niece was born shortly after my 10th birthday in 1994, I was not even allowed to hold her standing up, because everyone was afraid i would black out and fall over. I began taking iron, and for a time, that seemed to help. But it was only a band-aid.

Summer 1995 rolled around and I made my first plane ride. To SanDiego, California for my brother Rob's wedding to Dyan. We found out after the wedding in July, that they had previously eloped April 13th in Hawaii (as that was where they both lived at the time) and were consequently 8 weeks pregnant at the time of the wedding in July... with TWINS!

The doctor visits continued until finally I saw an allergist and everything fell into place. It turned out I had many environmental allergies which were causing my equilibrium to be completely off balance, and as a result of the whiplash i sustained at 18 months, my body could not adjust to the changes.

I started seeing a chiropractor regularly at age 10. After just a couple months of treatment and beginning allergy shots, I was completely normal!

*please, no snide comments regarding that last statement*

This is kinda where things start getting blurry, I don't remember much from age 10-14, but I'm going to highlight what I do.

In 1996, my family decided to make a move to a new house that would allow my grandma and grandpa to come live with us. As we made this transition, it was very hard for me... in almost every way.

I lacked friends because we moved, and because I was homeschooled, making new friends was near impossible. I did however, manage to make a few, and survived the next couple years. By the time i entered 8th grade in 1997, my mom had taken a position as a part time secretary at a local church and my studies became more than either of us were able to keep up with. Nothing being wrong with any of it, or homeschooling in general, it just became clear that I needed to enter into a school where I would have more available for my education.

Beginning of 1998, my younger brother and I entered a small private Christian school not far from where we lived. Most of that year i spent friendless, as I felt very insecure about myself and the idea that others would like me or want to be friends with me was foreign. Where in the world did this thinking come from? I still haven't figured it out, except that maybe i was a normal typical teenager? Ha!

Yearbooks came out a month before school let out for the summer and I made an effort to both pass mine around as much as I dared as well as sign others. One girl, named Beka, signed my yearbook and stated that we should "get together over the summer." the highlight of my year.

We did hang out that hot 1999 summer and we quickly became good friends. All while eating bologna and potato chips on the beach and getting sun burnt...

Fall 2000 came, and i entered 10th grade more confident than ever because, now, I had someone who wanted to be MY friend. We spent the year coming up with inside jokes and watching eachother move through the growing pains of teenhood.

2001, she had a boyfriend, and in my desperate attempt to keep up, I befriended a certain boy. Although we never dated, the thought had crossed my mind, but always in the back of it there was a nagging voice telling me to stay away. I unfortunately pushed it aside far too many times and ended up hurting myself a lot.

In march 2001, I got my driver's license. woohoo! Freedom! well, not so much, but in my 16 year old mind it was.

Later on that year, my dad received his third diagnosis of cancer. This one being far worse than the previous times. In 1998, he had one of his kidneys removed due to kidney cancer and he also had a small surgery on a patch of skin cancer. This time though, it was lymphoma. Virtually a death sentence.

My parents sat down with me just before my senior year of school began in September 2001 and told me the news. I have tried very hard to speculate and come to conclusions about what happened that year, trying not to blame my lack of emotion on anything... but the only thing I can come to is that I completely blocked out that there was anything wrong at all. I really don't remember anything about his cancer...

It was the worst year (as a whole) of my life to date. I have since had hard times, but that was all in all the worst year I remember.

I began dating a guy in the beginning of 2002. One that I thought i would marry. In fact, when summer rolled around, I was graduated and he had a year on me, he bought a ring. However, as I began to weigh in all the facts, realizing that a proposal was imminent, I freaked out. I realized that I was 17 years old, in a first-time relationship and was allowing myself to leave nothing hanging in the balance. My future was set if i stayed with him. I would be married by 19 and surely have a child shortly thereafter... factoring in many other things, I felt highly unprepared to take all that on. I broke up with him just 8 months after we started dating.

Thanksgiving 2002, I flew to Hawaii to visit my brother Rob and his family. Dyan and their 3 kids. Up to that point, I had never been anywhere tropical, and now, having travelled quite a bit, have still never gone to a more beautiful place.

Upon arriving back home, I had a mess to deal with. The friends that I had built my life around before, during, and after my breakup, were proving to be less than a good influence. A few well-remembered mishaps sent the entire lot of them out of my life. I chose to lose them all... and I chose to be alone. I had noone for that time.

It forced me to a place with the Lord that I had not known. I began hearing his voice and understanding who he was in my life. I felt called to attend a Bible school for a year.

In the meantime that year, 2002-2003 I worked at a more high end photography studio initially as just a type of assistant for any and all jobs, which turned into a position that I loved more than any job i've had since (save my own photography business) I worked on all the production work, so basically everything that happened with the pictures after they were taken. I loved that job and would have loved to stay on, but it just wasn't the right thing for me at the time. There were also a lot of things going on that I didn't catch onto because of my age... all in all, I am glad to have had the experience, but would not want to go back and revisit.

In August 2003, I moved into the dorms of this Bible school, and my life changed forever. I made a few good friends there and my life with God changed. Looking back, I regret having allowed myself to participate in all the surrounding drama, but realize that God was truly there... and I wouldn't trade that.

Christmas 2003 marked our second trip to Hawaii as my brother was still stationed there. What an awesome break to go somewhere that beautiful and tropical in the mid winter. As it stood, I still wore a sweatshirt the entire time I was there... people think i'm nuts, but what can I say, once I get cold, it's hard to get warm again!

January 2004, we arrived back to snow and ice, my core temperature was barely back to normal. Within days of returning I received a phone call one saturday morning that resulted in my heroic fall off the top bunk whereupon i broke my right foot. I swear, I never thought it would ever get back to normal. I quickly forgot what it was like to walk without pain, that thought that i would never be able to walk fast or run again. And just in case you didn't put two and two together, ice and crutches and living on the 3rd floor with no elevator... not a good combination.

I had planned to attend the Bible school for 3 years, but when we let out for the summer months in April 2004, I realized that I was either going to a) start making a ton more money than I was or b) live at home instead of on campus. When my request to live off campus was denied, I decided that I couldn't go back and started thinking about my next move.

I heard about a job at the local ADT office and decided to apply if only just to make some money while I figured out what to do. I was hired in June 2004 with the understanding that I would not start until mid-august as I had taken a 6 week position at the summer camp I went to as a kid. I spent the better part of that summer with girls of all ages and making new friendships and learning lessons (some harder than others)

August 2004... ADT began, and my life consequently came to a halt. I am not one to complain all that often, but I hated that job. I liked it at times but all in all, it was just awful. I finished up there just 8 months in and continued working at a photography studio much like Sears or JCPenney. I worked 3 Christmases there and have vowed to never work in the mall during Christmas again.

During this time, I began taking classes at the local community college... I spent 3 consecutive semesters there studying graphic design and taking a couple photography classes as well.

2005 I worked another summer as a camp counselor, this time shifting camps in between. I was burnt out by the end of the summer and in September I began my first nanny job for a little tiny 3 month old baby. He's not so little anymore :) His name is Samuel and both him and his family became a very precious part of my life. I look back on those days (although scattered with sleep hell and meltdowns from ahem both michelle and i :) with fondness and am so glad to have those memories.

When summer 2006 rolled around, I began to feel as though I couldn't do the same thing for more than one year at a time... it seemed to be becoming a pattern... and i didn't like it! Yet, I changed things again... I started by taking the entire summer off. it was GREAT!

September 2006, I began working part-time as a teacher's assistant at a local pre-school. I was also selling jewelry for a time and had a lot of fun doing the parties and other such things that go along with that kind of business. I learned an awful lot about running a business, and while I'm no longer doing that particular venue, I am so glad to have had the experience. it's helped me a lot as I've started my photography business.

In Feburary 2007, my life took a turn and changed for what would turn out to be (in my opinion) the most changing experience of my life. I met Maureen, who is the mom of the kids I now take care of full-time. Within the first night of meeting, she had already asked me to come work for her, and I felt from the very beginning that it would be an amazing experience.

I began working for them in June 2007 and although it took me a few months, I soon bonded with their family and now feel as though they are a part of my own.

In July 2007 I travelled outside to country (to somewhere besides Canada) for the first time in my life. I ended up having my passport stamped in both Dubai and India that summer! If Dubai had just been a layover, I would not have considered myself to have actually been there, but seeing as how I was there for over 48 hours and in a hotel most of that time... I was there. Due to unforseen circumstances that trip was the most stressful time of my life and I ended up having some serious physical repercussions as a result of that stress... my hair began falling out in large quantities.

Soo, in September 2007 I chopped it off. Looking back on the pictures, I can see why noone else really noticed... but man, did I. It was awful. It finally, a year and a half later has gotten back to pretty much normal and I'm tempted to try growing it out once again. Note to self for future - don't get stressed out!

As fall began to set in, I realized I needed an outlet for my creativity. I took a drawing class (and two others that I can't remember haha!) and also started this blog. I remember sitting down to try and start it and having no idea what to write... that didn't last long!

The year moved on, and soon, 2008 rolled around. I was so inspired by all the beautiful pictures I saw on other people's blogs who didn't seem to be a whole lot different than me and decided to pick up my digital rebel again. Would you believe that still at this time, I was sort of embarassed to carry it around. And in all honesty, that's the real reason I bought a Canon digital elph just a year after purchasing my rebel.

I had that rebel for over 3 years before I started putting it to use. I wanted originally because I have always loved photography... but it seemed the more i learned about photography the more I realized i didn't know. Normally, I would tell anyone else who said that to me that they were crazy and to go for it. I mean, how in the world will you ever learn if you don't pursue it!

January, February, March 2008. I baked, and began the lovely art of capturing my confections. Then, mid March, Michelle came to me again and insisted that I take some pictures of her while she was still pregnant with the Queen Bee. I honestly did not want to do it... but she talked me into it. And knowing how artistic and creative she is herself, I went along with it. And this was the result.

I couldn't have been happier... it didn't take me long to start thinking that I wanted to get better at this. I knew i still had a lot to learn... so why not just learn it. Then, long about May, I bought my first real lens.

Lest this become the story of the last year and how I became a photographer, I am going to wrap up the rest of last year and save the future for, well, the future. Who knows what it will hold.

My best friend from high-school got married in May 2008 and I travelled once again out of the country, but this time to Mexico.

January 2009, I am learning more and more every day about the things I love most. I am growing into a more understanding and (hopefully) patient girl. I am learning that loving people is not always easy... sometimes it's just what you do. I am becoming more confident in the talent that God has given me. I am hopeful that my future is sustained only by my reliance upon the Lord. And I am hoping that I will never think that i've figured it all out...

That's me :)


Wednesday, January 14, 2009

it finally came

I have been waiting and waiting to get this lens. When I got my 5D a couple months ago, my trusty rusty tamron 17-50mm f/2.8 didn't fit. So I sold it pretty quickly as the resale of that lens had gone WAY down in the 5 months I owned it.

I have had my eye on this new one for quite a while, and finally saved up enough for it. I found it for a good price... but what I think is a good price, may not be so nice to you haha! Let me tell you, at this point, I don't even bat an eye at a $500 price tag on photographic equipment. In fact, anything less than that, i may even consider cheap... this is what photography does to you.

Anyways, after much todo, ie me not being home when the lens was delivered etc, my dad being the great guy that he is, went out and tracked down the ups man to get it for me! What a nice dad :)

I had planned on Monday to do a whole mini-shoot with the lens to have some stuff to post... however, comma, being that the lens did not arrive until yesterday, and after I got a beater cold... I was in no mood to do anything last night.

Well, after I got home from work, I pulled that baby out of the box and after cleaning it, set to work. I was having a blast shooting basically in the dark. Let me tell you, with the combination of the 5D and the lens... i may just be unstoppable. This thing shoots almost anywhere!

After dinner, I started to feel a bit better, so I decided to go out for a bit. went to small group and then to see the boy in striped pajamas (this movie was one of the most horrible movies i've ever seen... but i don't regret seeing it. it was about the holocaust from a German boy's perspective)

Upon putting some makeup on, and realizing that it looked better than most days (to me at least) I decided to shoot just a bit with the bees (my strobes)

I had a specific shot in mind, but being that the whole thing is so darn heavy now, I could only manage to do this one.

Maybe tomorrow i'll work with my mom to get some more. I seriously can't handle the clarity this lens gives me. I was tempted to run a sharpening action on my eyes here, but couldn't bring myself to. They are just ridiculous untouched! Imagine what it would be like even sharper! AHH!

Well, I'm closing in on only 45 minutes left before I pick up the kid. I have so many things to do in that space of time! should i read... watch csi... facebook... blog... pictures... sleep... the possibilities are endless... which is exactly the problem! Anyways, more pictures to come later on this week i'm sure.


Monday, January 12, 2009


I have been wanting a bigger format for my blog for awhile now so that I can upload my pictures bigger... so again, I asked Lex over at Indellible Creations how to go about it, and being the amazing person that she is, she offered to do a whole new blog for me!

So, we got to work on it a few days ago, and TADAAAA!

I just looooove it :) Can you tell

Thanks sooo much Lex! You ROCK!

and keep checking back cuz i was too excited to wait and post this when everything was done :) It will be all uploaded later on today!


Thursday, January 8, 2009


Why am I blogging about my lunch? Because I have nothing better to do.

Actually, that's not entirely true...

I have a lot of other things I could be doing... but i'm kinda down about the fact that I haven't been able to take pictures the last couple weeks :(

Tomorrow though, I will be saved! The plan right now is that i am going to be taking pictures of Sgt and Mrs Hub's little family! They are up from their home in NM right now still visiting from Christmas, so hopefully it will work out!

That will satisfy some of my camera withdrawl. I can't wait for my new lens.

Anyways, onto the thing that is keeping my mind occupied at the moment. My current eating status and the lunch i just consumed.

This is my lunch.

(as a side note, my mom is currently imming with me about lingerie. it doesn't matter how old you are, that NEVER becomes ok)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaanyways... back to lunch.

Back in Septemer or something we (meaning the youth leadership at my church) did a 21 day fast. Not necessarily from all food, but a fast of some sort. I didn't cut out all food, but I did cut out most everything that I actually like. Therefore, I didn't eat much just because my choices really weren't that great. Well, before I delved into that, I had unintentionally cut all sugar out of my diet (save natural sugar from fruit etc) and going into the fast with that already having been established was MUCH easier than going from everything to so little.

I'm saying all that to say, I'm preparing again for the same thing. It's starting beginning on Feb, and (again) I have unintentionally cut WAY back on my sugar intake. I refuse to get on the scales, because i would probably burst into tears to see that i gained back the pounds lost the last couple months, but i would not hesitate to say that i've gained AT LEAST 5 pounds, probably closer to 10.

I feel like an enormous walking marshmallow! Anyways, enough about that. My ultimate goal is that one day I will have worked enough healthy eating habits into my life at a slow pace that eating healthy will not be like this HUGE ORDEAL, it will simply be more a lifestyle. And in many ways, i have incorporated a whole lot of healthy eating habits into my life in the last couple years.

(note: normally, I am a gung-ho doitallRIGHTNOW type of person. however, i have started seeing the serious disadvantages to that mentality and have been trying very hard to just take things slower. it's been working out a LOT better. my life is cleaner in almost every aspect, i feel more organized, and i probably sleep better at night!)

So, the other day, i was at wegmans and although the kashi frozen meal stuff is an obscene $3 something per, i decided to go for it and see if it was going to be a good option for while i'm actually doing the fast.

The conclusion?

It was definitely good. But honestly, not $3 good. I could make it for WAAAAY less. however, it is def a good option if I have no time to cook... but oh wait, i forgot it has pasta. forget it. Now this entire post is pointless. Oh well.

Anyways, I would like to know about you. Do you have things in your life that you find overwhelming to change all at once? ie - eating habits, cleaning habits, exercising etc

have you found any good solutions to changing your lifestyle without getting overwhelmed? I'd love to know!


Monday, January 5, 2009

you spent WHAT?!

Eww... I just spent an ungodly amount of money on a lens...

But yay i'll finally have one I can use!

I'll post more about that later...


Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Years!!!


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