the birth of Eliza Noelle

Here she is! Fresh out of the shell ;)



Eliza Noelle was born on January 25, 2012 at 10:42pm. She was 7 pounds 14 ounces and 20 inches long.

Looking at this picture I can hardly believe it's already been 6 weeks since my sweet baby was born... but at the same time it seems like it's been a lifetime. I feel like I've known her my whole life... and I guess I kinda have :)

Here is the story of my labor and delivery with Eliza...

I began early labor early around 2am on tuesday the 24th. I had contractions all night but mild like cramps and very tolerable. This continued all day long, and at 1am wednesday my water broke. I went to the hospital at the call of my midwife and she met us around 2. They told me to sleep but I was too excited! So i didn't... big mistake :/ lol

My first labor nurse wanted me to have an IV, for the following things: fluids, drawing blood and pitocin. I had made sure my midwife knew that of all the things I didn't want during my labor, it was pitocin. And the other two things I didn't see a need for. Donna (my midwife) had previously told me I would not need an IV during labor, so I politely declined. The nurse tried to convince me it was necessary and that my baby was actually "not looking good" at the moment because her activity was so low... maybe she was sleeping at 2am? just a thought. At any rate, I resisted because I've had an IV before and knew how uncomfortable they are... if not necessary, I'd just rather not. So while the nurse tried to guilt me into it, I asked her if we could just wait until Donna arrived to make the decision... and at that moment Donna walked in. She agreed with me that I didn't need it and we moved on.

I was 4cm 100% and +1 when admitted and by 9am I had only progressed to 5cm. By 1pm I had progressed to 6cm but things were moving so slowly and contractions were still around 5 minutes apart that I began walking and moving around the room a lot and doing some nipple stimulation. It worked like a charm! By 3pm I was in hard labor and had back labor for the rest of it. During that earlier part of the day, my labor nurse, Chris, was such an amazing support and encouragement to me. It turned out that she was a Christian also and once we all realized we were of the same mindset spiritually, there was a connection there that was so encouraging to see in the midst of such a hard time. At one point, Chris literally laid her hands on my belly and began to pray... pray that the labor would progress. When she did that, I cannot accurately describe what I felt because I've never felt anything like it before. It was a surreal moment where I felt closer to God than I ever have before. I felt as though it wasn't Chris's hands on me, but the Lords...

I had back labor because the baby was posterior. She eventually did turn but unfortunately I had labored so long with her in that position she had bruised me and her little nose was smashed up against my spine... she had a squishy face when she came out ;)

The dr on call was not pleased with how slowly I seemed to be progressing and communicated to Donna that we needed to "come up with a plan to get things moving" It was around 8pm by this point and I had dilated to 8cm and my contractions were giving me about 30 seconds of rest in between... What did the dr want me to do? He wanted me on pitocin to dilate more quickly. I was like uhhhhh NO, at this point I could not handle anything more than I was being given and I knew I would need the epidural with pitocin and I did NOT want things to go slower than they were! Not to mention, I didn't want any of that to begin with. Donna was more than on board with my wants and desires and had no problem with my labor and progress, unfortunately the dr still had a say.

I asked her if there was anything else to do and she said she wanted to check me again, I was progressed to 9cm. She told me I might be able to push to 10cm, but I wasn't feeling pushy AT ALL. So I began standing and sitting over and over and going back and forth from the toilet to the bed until I began to feel just a little pushy. I was still 9 and at +2, she said to push on the next contraction and she got my cervix over the baby's head.

We were good to go at that point, but seeing how slowly everything had progressed, I was envisioning 2 hours of pushing... and I totally flipped out. It was the only point in my labor where I felt totally and completely out of control... and I didn't remember how to push. The labor nurse and Donna coached me on what to do and I pushed for 10 minutes before she was out.

I wanted to have nubane when I was about 8cm, but when Donna told me that I would be sleeping in between and waking for the peak of my contractions, I decided not to because that quite honestly sounded worse than just feeling the whole thing. So in the end, my labor was 100% natural. My highest expectation had been met! I had prepared myself to do what I needed to do and what was best for both me and baby... and I am just delighted to have seen my body do so well!

I had a lot of pain after, but I was able to see my chiropracter and things have been getting squared away! I saw a chiro during my pregnancy as well who helped me a lot with aligning my pelvis and positioning things so that they would open more easily. It took me about 2 weeks before I wasn't having a noticeable amount of pain, and I was delighted with that as I thought it would take a lot longer.

However, because of the quick recovery time, I have been careless with my body... and I'm paying for it! I just didn't realize how much of a toll labor and delivery could take... and then add in the sleep deprivation and it really does take a long time for things to get back to normal. Maybe they never will, really.

I told Steve the other day that this whole thing is horrible and wonderful, awful and amazing all at the same time. I never knew how much I could cry because I'm so happy, but be so frustrated all at the same time. Eliza is so beautiful and I am beyond thankful to be her mommy. She is such a good baby and since she's come home from the hospital she's been sleeping in her crib and getting up to eat about 2 times a night. That was hard to get used to though and I'm still really not used to it. I had a lot of help in the beginning and since then Steve and I have been working together to make things work.



Eliza at 5 and half days old (yes, you count half days when they're this little ;)

I'm still pregnant and that's ok

You know how it works. As you go through life and watch others handle their own, you silently make your own resolutions about how you would do things different/better. I'm not even talking about being judgemental, I'm talking more about learning from other people's likes and dislikes what you like or dislike yourself.

Well, for me, documenting my pregnancy was one of those things I was sure I would be stellar at. Oh yes, I would take adorable belly shots and blog about sentimental things all the time and all that jazz. Well, at 39 weeks and 5 days I certainly feel like a failure in that department!

The truth is, whenever I felt the need to take a picture (which would be only on a day that I weighed myself and felt that it was appropriate and also HAD to be on a day that coincided with the change of a new week, ie exactly 17 weeks, not 17+4 or something like that) Yes, I'm a little OCD like that. So basically, most pictures have been taken spur of the moment, not all cutesie tootsie like I had in mind... and whatever. Who cares? At least I took pictures.

Anyways, the other thing I feel somewhat bad about is that I didn't document all the different stages etc. I guess I never felt like it because I honestly felt like crap for so long I was sick of complaining and that seemed like just one more way to complain. I threw up consistently through 7 months. Then it tapered off to more like a couple times a month, and still, that's the case. But at least I don't feel nauseous. It's all business here, get it done and over with and then I feel fine. And really, who wants to hear a daily log of how I threw up, again.

There are a lot of things I have enjoyed while being pregnant. The truth is, I can't honestly say I enjoy getting and being sick, but it's a constant reminder that better days are ahead. I've wanted this baby for my whole life. Dreamt of what it would be like to have and hold this beautiful creation... as well as the days of angst and strife that necessarily come along with parenting ;) I want it all! Really. So that's helped me keep it in perspective.

I've enjoyed dreaming up her nursery and making that a reality as well as choosing her name and preparing my heart and home for her. Watching Steve grow to love this little baby we can't actually see has been quite honestly one of my favorite parts of being married so far. I really don't understand at this point why people would be so cautious to bring children into a loving relationship, because so far it's only made us love each other more... and appreciate what we have together. I know that with the arrival of this new little one I am going to be thankful that I have a constant reminder of the love we share... yes, I'm a total sap like that :)

Anyways, this is the part where I tell you how I thought I was in labor last week. On Wednesday I was throwing up and had diarrhea as well as an extreme need to nest. I got everything that wasn't ready, ready. I did laundry, packed what I needed for the hospital, shaved my legs (let me tell you, that was interesting) brought the car seat down (which Steve later put in the car) and was like BAM, I am ready to go!

We even put the bassinet in our room and when I went to bed that night, this is what I found curled up in there ;)



It was a week early though! Could it really be? Well, I also had visited the chiropracter that afternoon and thought, well if she's ready to come out, this will certainly set it off. Thursday afternoon, I went out shopping with my mom. For things like toilet paper and crackers. The essentials ya know? My mom was with me and kept commenting on how it was making her uncomfortable watching me walk... LOL. I was having lots and lots of braxton hicks, but that is common for when I walk around a lot. I started noticing a little later on that my lower back was hurting along with the bh contractions. And I thought hmmmm... that could actually be a sign I'm in early labor.

So, I called my midwife and gave her a heads up that maybe possibly I could be. She told me that if I wanted to come in and get checked that I could, but I really didn't. I wanted to wait until I was more sure... and I already had a scheduled appointment for the next morning. I figured I'd just wait until then.

We decided by bedtime to give my mother in law a call to update her since she lives about 5 hours away and let her know things may be getting a move on. She was very excited, as this is in fact her first grandchild and immediately drove out here! Well, I went to the midwife in the morning, still having bh but my back was not so sore anymore. And I thought well, maybe it's waning down, who knows. Turns out I had been progressing at least somewhat, I was dilated about 1.5 cm and almost completely effaced, I lost my mucus plug and all that. But by friday night, nada. There wasn't a blessed thing going on. So by sunday evening, my mother in law decided to head back home and save her vacation time for when baby actually does arrive :) I am glad, because now, thursday, I would have been sad to see her not have any time left to spend with the baby!



This is from yesterday, 39w4d. And btw I don't think it's actually possible that I could drop any lower. I carried low my whole pregnancy, but at this point, I just don't see how lower is physically possible... ha!

So like I said, it's now thursday and nothing is going on. Just waiting :) I am happy to wait, because I know that someday I will miss her little body flipping about inside of mine, but at the same time, I'll be happy to hold her in my arms :)

36 weeks on Christmas Eve :)

Maybe I should rename this blog so that it's about the baby ;) hehehe it seems like that's all I ever think to post about. But I suppose that makes sense being that it's about my life, and currently, baby is my life. Basically.

Anyways, I wanted to keep posting on my progress. Today is Christmas Eve and I am currently 36 weeks with the little Robinson. I don't see the growth day to day but when I look at the comparison that 6 weeks makes (since that's the last time I took a picture) I can see she is definitely out there more! I just got back from Wegmans and while I was there I couldn't help but notice that most people would look at my face and then their eyes would go down, right to my belly. I guess it's hard not to see... :/

I'm thankful though, so far in my pregnancy I have had zero complications or health issues. Everything has gone very smoothly. That isn't to say I haven't been uncomfortable or felt amazing ;) just that nothing bad has happened. And while I originally thought I would pack on weight like a water buffalo, I've been shown that just isn't true. So far I've gained a net total of 13 pounds. With 4 more weeks to go, I'm hoping for only a couple more :)

moving right along...

I'll have to add 33+ soon, since the latest picture at 29 weeks is already a month old! Insane, it seems like it's going by so fast but at the same time it's taking forever!

give the pregnant lady some food!

I thought I paid pretty good attention to the friends around me who have been pregnant over the years... thought I would have a pretty good handle on what it would be like to actually be pregnant... but I was wrong.

I was utterly unprepared for the total body makeover. I thought that meant I would just get bigger. But um, question: how does one get bigger? The obvious answer is food.

I have never in my life had a problem not eating enough. In fact, I've always struggled to not eat so much!

Things are a little different now though. In my first trimester I lost 11 pounds. With literally NO exercise and little movement at all. I was stationary on the couch or in my bed for approximately 6 weeks... and while there's been more time of feeling notsohot at least I've gained enough energy back to be able to accomplish some daily tasks. AKA eating.

It seems no matter what I eat, or how much of it, I'm always hungry! and the scale is not reflecting this!!! It's a dream come true... lol.

Don't worry, I'm sure I will be gaining some needed poundage over the next couple months... I have no doubts :P

But what's a girl to do when getting up and going to the grocery store seems like an insurmountable task? You send your husband... well at least that's what I did. We have not made a comprehensive grocery shopping trip since the first saturday in June! That's insane right?

Anyways, the point here is that I never thought food could be such an issue. Yesterday afternoon I was resting for a bit in between a house project we're working on and I realized just how dang hungry I was... and how there wasn't really anything in the house I wanted to eat.

I wanted pizza.

I feel like a different person. I don't even know who this person is! I don't feel comfortable with the new me and honestly, I hope I don't get comfortable, because I want the old me back! And I am told that will happen.

My superman husband heard my plight and dropped what he was doing, went to the store, bought the ingredients and made me a homemade pizza. True love.

I have no pretty picture to show you of the lovely pizza he made, but let me tell you what. I couldn't have asked for a better man. It's a good thing I'm the pregnant one and not him because I doubt my compassion level would compare to his. He's the best decision I've made so far ;)

lately...

I've spent too much time sitting on keester.

I've been totally uninspired.

I've been a little depressed with all I want to do but haven't been able to.

I've been happy to have the extra time to think about all the ways I am blessed.

I haven't taken a single personal picture...

But yesterday I had a sudden burst of inspiration and took advantage of it searching for nursery ideas online. I started to feel like my old self again! Summer is after all my favorite time of year, but I haven't gotten into a groove yet. I swoon over the silly romanticism of the summer months. Beautiful outdoor picnics, perfectly decorated. Huge chandeliers hanging from trees and such ;)

But alas, most of those things look better in my mind than actually played out. One thing however, that always seems to appease my desire for the romance of summer is a display of flowers on my table.

My church has been so amazing and has arranged for a few meals for us this week. What a huge relief! I haven't been as sick as I know some people get with their first tri-mester, but enough so that I have been down and out for over a month! It's been hard and I'm grateful for loving people to come to the rescue ;)

Yesterday, our dinner from Annette came with a beautiful bouquet of flowers picked right from her garden. The BEST kind!



I love it!

first ultrasound

When I found out I was pregnant, I was so excited to see the little bambino! But then I realized that I wasn't going to be able to have an ultrasound until like 18 weeks. They basically told me that they only do them if they think something is wrong or if you aren't sure of the due date... which I can't complain that nothing is wrong! and I actually am quite sure of the due date and all that.

So I was really tempted to go to like a free clinic and just get one, but I didn't feel right about it. So I called again and asked if there was any way, and basically they sent me in for a dating ultrasound... which I was extraordinarily happy about ;)



So here it is! Baby didn't move much during it, looked like it was just chillin in it's hammock in there... good baby ;) and honestly, this is in my opinion a pretty terrible pic! It looks like a blob to me, but when I was seeing the video you could see it a little better. So little baby is 9 weeks 5 days today... and mama is hopin to be done with this morning sickness soon ;)

a different kind of feeling...

About 5 weeks ago I ran into a strain of pms I was unfamiliar with. Like, I felt as though anything and everything steve did was to intentionally tick me off and instead of just sitting sweetly, I was about ready to literally bite his head off.

There have been times I've felt this (mildly) and I'm always like, oh you rascally pms, let's get this over with!

But this, this was not normal. Through tears on a couple evenings I sat apologizing to him for being such a meanie head. What in the world is wrong with me?

We were on vacation that weekend and when I got home and realized my period hadn't come, the thought crossed my mind that I might be pregnant. Which I could only hope for! Oh how exciting! I had thought about that so many times in my life before, but figured naaaaaaahhhh. I'll wait a few more days, it's sure to come.

But it didn't. And didn't.

So by the time I was like 8 days late I decided to take a test. Thinking, if it's not positive, then there is positively something wrong with me!

But that second little line began peeking through and sure enough... it was positive :)

I called the dr the next day and they sent me for bloodwork, which also came back positive (phew! because at that point I had pretty much told everyone ;) how embarassing would that be for them to be like, uhhh no, you just have bad eyesight and can't read pregnancy tests (a dollar store test no less) Ha! ;)

But the case is such that I am currently growing a human inside of me. I am so very happy and excited! My first appointment with my midwife is at 10 weeks, so just a few more days!

I would post a picture from 7 weeks, but I am still feeling pretty dang self conscious that I feel like I could save that one for like 4 months... because I look that prego lol. I've actually lost 8 pounds in the last few weeks, but my belly is growing, it's a very different feeling...

But a very good one ;) Well, besides the nasty morning sickness. I hope that only lasts a couple more weeks, but whatever the case, I'll get a pretty sweet reward out of the deal! I'm good with it :)

So there you have it! Come January, our family of *two* will be a little bigger ;)