sometimes you just take awhile to post stuff...

Just over a year ago I left the most fulfilling and probably the most difficult job I've had so far. My two years of full-time nannying came to an end. When I would think about how it would be to leave I came to two conclusions about how I would deal with it. 1 being that I would totally shut down my emotions and not really feel much at all and 2 that I would become a complete basket-case and melt into a sobbing mess.

Truth be told, I did both. Which is why still a year later I am just now posting this.

When I left their house on my last night all was fine. I said good bye, knowing that I would be back often and the love was still there. But as I drove away I completely melted down. I'm talking gut wrenching sobs to the point where I actually had to pull over because it wasn't safe to drive anymore...

It took me two weeks to get up the courage to go back and say hi... whereupon I was received with a very cold shoulder from little Andy...



I went to his preschool to drop off some pictures I had taken for the teachers and upon seeing me totally ignored me. I figured he needed the space and he would come to be when he was ready... he later told his mom that I hadn't come to see him at all and that I didn't even want to hug him. WOW. Needless to say, that left me in another puddle... I left the school and sobbed my eyes out... the little boy I had grown to love so much and had spent the majority of two years with was totally rejecting me. Can you blame him though? He was just doing to me what he thought I was doing to him...

I returned the next day having made sure his mom told him I was coming to see just him and when he saw me that time gave me an unending hug. The kind where i wasn't sure he would ever let go unless I pried him off. And not that I wanted to, but after about 5 minutes of just sitting there with his legs wrapped around me, we finally set out to play.

Time heals stuff like this and that's why I'm ok to write it all down now... I'm not trying to be a baby, I'm just being honest. Before I left last year, we took pictures of each other to remember that time... the girls are old enough that posterity means a lot to them and I have since felt terrible for not sharing the pictures sooner with them. But now I am :)

















and in other news, something I haven't shared yet I don't believe is that starting monday I get to spend the rest of my summer with these 3 kiddos. Maureen emailed me a few months ago asking for suggestions for summer child care... and as I thought about anyone else watching them another summer I couldn't help but cry. I knew that it had to be me. There will never be another summer like this... and it won't be like last... and most certainly next year will be another one to remember. I'm so excited to start a new adventure and a new chapter in this book of life that I feel is just getting better and better :)

Thank You

I have no words to describe how happy these make me.



Thank you Andrea...

let's hit the beach

I would have been sad if I didn't go to the beach while visiting this lovely state of North Carolina.

So tomorrow, i'm doing just that! And what's even better, is that I don't have to do it alone, like i was originally thinking... that would have been kind of a drag... well, not really, since anything where i'm involved most certainly does not drag ;)

Anyways, I've been here in NC staying with Rachel and her family for the last 4 days, and having a great time i might add. I feel very at home here. On Sunday I went to Greenville where I visited a church that I ended up liking a lot. and if I decide that Greenville is the place for me, then I will be going there... however, I am not quite feelin' it. The city that is. There was nothing wrong with it per se, but I just don't quite feel settled about it the way I would like to before moving myself close to 700 miles from home.

So tomorrow we are going to Wilmington and staying overnight. I'm really hoping that I find a good fit there... there are so many pros on my list for it so far, but since I haven't actually been there, I'm going to wait to verbalize them. I will say though, that the only con on my list for Wilmington has been the extra distance. But if everything else lines up, what's an extra 100 miles?

In other news, Rachel is as many of you know, an amazing photographer with her own business Savor Photography. I was not about to waste a trip to Rocky Mount and not get my pictures done by her! So yesterday, we set out to do mine. I seriously couldn't be happier! Here's one, probably my fave, but I haven't decided for sure yet ;)



After seeing how awesome my pics turned out, I'm not gonna lie, I was a little nervous about taking hers today. I don't think she's posted any yet over at her blog, but you should check it out anyways, cuz it's awesome :)

Anyhoo, I'm very excited about the beach tomorrow! I'll definitely be coming back with pictures :)

always moving ahead

It's time for a real post folks. It's been a bit of a whirlwind for me lately. Some of you may know that I've been a full-time nanny for the last 2 years all while discovering my love for photography and finally last summer beginning to step into it on a professional level. It's been difficult juggling my work as a nanny and as a photographer. I give you full-time moms out there working your businesses on the side mad props. It is hard!

Anyways, I've been planning my launch into doing full-time photography for the last several months and this week all that planning paid off and I dove in as a full-time, fully self-employed, unbelievably happy photographer.

So far this week I have:
- made lots of lists (because I don't remember anything anymore... I think I'm running out of room up there or something)
- ordered my first round of sample pieces


16x20 on 3/4 inch standout board. It turned out fabulous! I am SO glad that I decided to offer this mounting option standard on all prints 11x14 and larger. They come ready to hang and don't need frames! Pretty much, they're amazing :D


Then I also got this beauty in an 11x14 canvas wrap. I couldn't be happier with it!

(moving on with what I've done...)
- pumped out 2 shoots and finished them (those will be posted shortly, but if you want to see one now, check out my facebook page)
- began working on my last wedding
- ate more meals with my family than I remember doing in a long time... and that's worth a lot :)

I've got 3 shoots lined up for next week so keep checking back to see what's new.

Also, I've posted a new link on the linkbar at the top of the page that allows you to see my pricing guide and all available options. Click here to see that now :)

Only one more week til I'm headed down to Maryland! While I'm down there, I'll be able to spend time with my family but I'm also very excited about going a little further south to visit Rachel and her family.

Summer's finally here, and I'm enjoying it sooo much!

they got married...

and I don't even have pictures of them...

wow, I'm a terrible friend!

That's right though, after months years of planning, this wedding thing finally happened! And it was sooooo worth it! I barely budged my camera out of it's place in my big giraffe D&G bag not just because I was too busy dancing my butt off, but because we were in the hands of an amazing photographer. I had and have no doubts that the pictures captured that day are going to be phenominal :D

I did manage to sneak in a few pics here and there. Mostly, I wanted to capture my mom and dad dancing during the anniversary dance.



But more than a little dancing occurred this weekend. I love that weddings can often last for days. Especially when you're a part of them... half the fun is the getting ready, and winding down :)

So I'll start at the beginning. I'm sure Melissa is going to love me for all the details I'll include here ;)

Friday afternoon began with a trip to high falls to drop off Andy (who i only have for 3 more days!) (that's both happy and sad, and more about that later) to his mom whereupon i got lost in downtown AGAIN. I can't seem to go up there without getting lost. It's like, I know so many streets, I even know what connects to what in many parts... but it's like all the streets go crooked and I get so confused!

After finally figuring my way out I booked it to the nail salon where Amy, Bunny and I all got pedi's. Whilst picking out a nail color, the two of them noticed a bug bite on the back of my arm that appeared to be growing with a fierce intensity.

I had noticed the bite before, as I was annoyed about getting a bite just days before the wedding and it would for sure show in my strapless dress if it didn't subside quickly. But up to that point it hadn't warranted any kind of attention. The spot began warming up and getting quite hot. All of a sudden, this random lady grabs my arm and starts gushing about what happened to me. I was like, "omg, i can't believe she is squeezing my bug bite like a pimple." but was too shocked that this was even happening to do anything about it. She said to me, "it's ok, I'm a mom."

OH! Really? Ok, well, ya know, then I guess this is all ok. LOL! She seriously said that to me.

Anyways, after her inspection was complete, i was instructed to put some ice on it and take some benadryl if it seemed to worsen. Bunny so kindly measured the bite using her middle finger as a measuring instrument and I went along my merry way getting my disgusting feet cleaned and polished.

After leaving the nail salon I only had a couple things to finish up before going to Melissa's and getting ready for the rehearsal. When I arrived at her apartment she was also in the process of getting ready and after we had both showered, we began dressing. Only to find that the bra she bought for the wedding and was planning to wear it to the rehearsal as well didn't fit. Trauma ensues. Jim was immediately called upon out of desperation to go to Victoria's Secret and exchange the bra but when reality set in that plan was schnixed. Seriously, sending a boy to exchange a bra for the correct size with only a half hour before we needed to leave the house? Simply put, it wasn't happening.

We, however, were able to find something that would work for the evening and resolved that Bunny and I would find the right bra in the morning.

Anyways, the rehearsal went on... it was long and somewhat laborious, but hey, that's what rehearsals are. Only one moment of almost trauma/drama from the groom's mother... but that was quickly squashed by the minister... thank God for him.

After it was over we headed to the restaurant for the dinner where I began noticing that my arm was heating up considerably and my entire arm was beginning to hurt. Not just the spot where I'd been bitten 4 days prior. It seemed very odd to me that I would be having a reaction to something that happened so many days ago, but to be on the safe side, I went to the rite-aid nearby and stocked up on benadryl lotion and the pills.

By the time we got in the car... here



to head to the beach... I was startin to feel the effects of the antihistamine. I was a freaking zombie by the time we got there. It was about all I could do to muster one word answers... ARGH!

That night, i put ice on it and took some more benadryl before finally letting myself collapse into a heap. I slept like a rock all night and woke up in the morning with not so much pain in my entire arm, but it had seemed to settle in just my wrist.

What a night. I mean, I'm so glad I didn't end up having to go to the hospital, but i was really close to making that call. And then waking up with it still hot and a lot of pain in my wrist... what the heck?

The day wasn't about me though! and I could have cared less if I had a migraine that day! Melissa and Jim were getting married and that was all that mattered!!!

We began the day so nice and relaxed. With only 4 of us who spent the night at the apartment and our estimated hour of awakening at 8am we were able to just lay back and enjoy eachother's company. We made strawberry banana smoothies and ate bagels... sat around wrapped in blankets as the a/c had to stay on for the sake of the flowers.



At 10 o'clock the hair stylists arrived and the age-old ritual of getting ready officially began :D I only took a moment to snap a couple pictures of the beautiful bride while she was getting ready.

About 11 we all realized that lunch was essential. Amy and I made our way to the east ave wegmans and got some subs... along with some coffee and chocolate. you know, the necessities. We both had our hair done at this point but were definitely not dressed. Amy's "running shorts" are a sight i'll not soon forget...

Once we returned, I took Melissa's dress outside to take some pictures of it as the photographer wasn't coming until it was actually time to get in the dress. I couldn't have been happier to do it!



This is by far my favorite kind of photography :) Alicia stood by and helped while I climbed the tree outside her apartment building to get these shots, and the rest of them stood watching out the window yelling at me that i was crazy. I already knew that ;)



I love these shoes!



and I LOVE this dress :D

Once we were all done getting ready, the limo arrived and we were off to the canal to take some bridal party pictures. I simply cannot wait to see them! Amazingly enough, i think the 5 of us were more nervous (or was it just me?) about the wedding than Melissa. On the drive to the ceremony, my stomach was all in knots and I almost started crying more than once.

As we all made our way to the altar, I realized that my tears were amazingly few. I appreciate a good cry now and then, but I really didn't want to be a blithering mess up there! The ceremony and vows were perfectly beautiful.



Once the ceremony was over, there was plenty of time for bridal party pictures, but let me tell you, once we got in to the reception, that's when the real fun began :D

The details of all that went on are best left unwritten, but I will say this. My calves still hurt today and they haven't hurt from running since about my second week in. YAH.

We partied hard until about 10 when things began to wind down and Melissa and Jim prepared to leave for their first night as a married couple! The night was still young so a bunch of us decided to head downtown for a little more fun. We settled on meeting at one of the bars on Monroe and subsequently brought all the leftover wedding cake with us. There wasn't like a little smidgen on cake left. Oh no. There was literally only the small piece that Melissa and Jim had cut off to feed eachother missing. The crowd was fed by the extra sheet cake. So, we took it upon ourselves to share this cake love with anyone who would partake. Unfortunately, not much was eaten... but that's ok, we had fun trying :)

By that point, it was around midnight and I was about beat. Besides almost having a slight panic attack when I realized that the cake that had cost a small fortune was about to have multiple faces planted into it... i was beat. Alicia and I piled ourselves and the cake into her car and made our way back to the apartment where we unloaded everything and shortly thereafter passed out. Well, she did. I couldn't sleep. I laid there for the better part of 2 hours awake before finally hitting a fitful state of sleep. When I still hadn't really slept by 6, I got up, showered, packed up and left for home. Amazingly enough, I made it to church that morning and managed to stay awake well into the afternoon.

Long about 4pm I realized that there was no way I was going to make it through the rest of the day awake. So I went for a run. That ended pathetically, but I looked like a superstar sprinting down main st. Moreso because I wanted to get home for some water than to show off my mad athletic abilities *wink*

And in case you're not sick of hearing about my entire weekend yet, I'll add-on. After my short little excuse for a run, I packed myself into my little civic and headed over to Amy and Brian's whereupon I stopped to give Jim's little brother Mike some of the leftover wedding cake and traipsed around walmart for awhile. Amy, Brian, Possum and I all sat around Brian's backyard burning scrap wood and having a good time. You know, the kind of times when nothing but good memories are made :)

I'm so glad that this is all over, but now that it is, I wouldn't have traded any of it for anything. All the drama and tears, heartache and hard decisions that had to be made... it was all worth it in the end. And one of the reasons i've come to love melissa so much is her ability to love so many people at once :) I love the friends i've made because of her and wouldn't trade the time i've spent knowing her for anything.

yep, i posted twice. sue me.

In the midst of my very honorable efforts to work on Tuesday's session, I was highly distracted by Sting's new tank. I bought the vase almost two weeks ago, but it's taken me this long for my vision to become complete. Unfortunately for the lovely little plant I chose, the tops stick out of the water and are consequently parched. Gasping for air water.

I think he likes the new look. I like it way better than before. I also am developing the habit of photographing him in almost total darkness... hey, it is what it is. what can i say?

In actual, more important, news that you actually care about, I will be shooting my second err third (counting my very first 4 years ago) wedding tomorrow. It's supposed to rain the entire day. But hey, if you remember correctly, I have experience with that. It's gonna be great no matter what :)

now, on to the star of this post. and his antics*. he wishes for me to caption these as follows.



whatchoo lookin at?



my name shall no longer be Sting, you may call me Swimby (ps I did not approve this name change)



a shadow lurking among the forestry, watching you as you sleep.


*yes, I am aware that i sound like a completely crazy cat fish lady. it happens.

My own version of fix-it Friday, on a Monday :)

My mom and dad are in Michigan visiting my brother and his family right now. She called me tonight and told me that they are working on getting their foster daughter's senior pictures printed, but for whatever reason, the place they were printing them was totally screwing with the image size.

So, originally, they were sent to me to check that they were the correct size etc. Which they were. Strange then that they were printing out pixelate. Nonetheless, that is an easily fixed problem as it was probably just a computer glitch. When I got this pic, they asked me to fix it up, crop, change the color etc. And I was more than happy to oblige!

Here is the original:



Before I did anything to it, I went in a used the healing brush to retouch a few places on her face and smooth out her skin. I loooove that tool. And if you've used that tool, but never experience it's sister (the patch tool) found in the drop down box of the healing brush, you're seriously missing out! It has totally changed my retouching ways ;)

After I was satisfied with the retouch job, I ran this amazing action I got as a freebie off makelightreal.com. I love this action and use it often.

It doesn't do much with the density though, so I opened the brightness/contrast sliders and threw the contrast up to about 60 and the brightness around 15.



To me, this was more fun than the fix-it fridays (although I do enjoy those :) because I know the person who is using this pic.

If you want to try it out and show me what you might have done, feel free! I'd love to see!

ooo look, pretty flowies!

I've been finding some super amazing fine art photographs on etsy that I am just falling in love with. I have always loved macro stuff, but never actually had a macro lens, and never even really have been able to play with one.

So I decided to rent the canon 100mm f/2.8... to see if i like it of course ;) However, problem is, for this instant gratification girl, the lens isn't available til 5/20. Ugh. Not like i really have time for this stuff right now anyways.

So I'll just use what I have. Plus it gave me a great excuse to use lightroom... which i'm still getting used to. but i like it so far!





Now, I am happy for the most part with these pictures, and i'm not going to sit here and pick apart what I think is wrong with them. I will say though, that I would have liked someone to help me do these. The combination of a 5ish pound camera in one hand, paper in the other, and a slight breeze made for really hard focusing. That's pretty much my only beef.



I read this on... uhhhh... shoot I don't remember... but it's this lady who does fine art prints on etsy and they are BEAUTIFUL. I pulled out my scrapbook paper that has been collecting dust the last year and a half or so and toted it along with me while photographing these flowers.



Seeing a theme here? lol



I seriously cannot wait to get my hands on the 100. I hope it's as good as I'm imagining. These close crops were all done with the crop tool and I'm hoping I won't have to do that as much with the 100. GAH! I want it now!

Oh, and a sidenote. Apparently I am so out of the loop by not using flickr yet. So I'm doing my best to try and figure it out. I've had one for quite some time, but am now using it to upload my pictures. Can anyone tell me how I make the pictures link directly to my photostream?

i <3 faces: hats

Every week when I <3 faces rolls around, I look at the requirements and try to figure out if I already have a picture that works. I would love to have the time to come up with something new each week... but alas, I do not!

But this week, the requirements are a face, and a hat. YES! Something I have!

This is Emily. She is a senior graduating this year. We've been planning her session pretty much aaall winter... and finally, the nice weather came.

In other news, I am making plans to go to maryland in June! I'll write another post about that because I need to get some interest in the DC area before I can make my plans official ;) So, be watching for that post!

the explanation

Remember this picture?



At the end of this post, I told you to be specific when guessing... well, you were. I sincerely hope that "anonymous" was Alicia, because if not, then I have definitely have a weirdo blogstalker on my hands here... what do you think?

Anonymous
You are spoon feeding the girl of your dreams ambrosia (food of the gods) in the drama room perhaps? Or helping her remove a troublesome piece of food from her pearly whites?

And while it may look as though someone is brushing my teeth, Courtney was a little closer with the nasty medicine theory.

But here's the real story.

(ps every post from here til May 23 may just be about Melissa's wedding or very closely related... because basically, I don't have anything else to write about. ha!)

April 18th was a beautiful day. It's nice that those days are coming closer together finally.

I have never been to a more beautiful bridal shower, and while there was certainly no lack of drama, the location was perfect. It was held at the country club Melissa's aunt belongs to. Most of the bridal showers (ok all) have been in churches or someone's living room *grin*



The food was incredible, the presents were abounding but most of all, Melissa looked so beautiful. Ok, like, I'm not a guy, and when I saw her, I was like oh SNAP son! If she looks this good today, what is she going to look like on her wedding day?!?! Jim's a lucky man ;)



Melissa's little cousin brought her all her gifts... so cute!



Again with the cuteness... what the heck?



We all kinda forgot about the whole "giving stuff away for games" thing... oops! but melissa is amazing, and forgave us lol! She did a way better job than I woulda done for this anyways haha! I wouldn't have been nearly as generous. She framed 3 of her best landscape pictures and then made up these baskets that were to die for. I mean seriously, the whole she-bang of B&B works stuff, a photo album and matching candle. Seriously Melissa, what the heck? ;)



This is Melissa's teacher of the deaf, Mrs. Donovan, from kindergarten to sixth grade. This woman made a profound impact on her life, what an amazing thing it is to have such a relationship sustained all these years



The flowers at the country club were to die for. I coulda stayed out there breathing in their beauty far longer than I actually did ;)



look how classy I am with no shoes on. Yep, that was because I was running around taking pictures of flowers. No shame I tell ya :D This is the wedding party minus one who couldn't make it. From left to right: Kristina (melissa's cousin-to-be), Bunny (hopefully soon melissa's cousin-to-be ;), Melissa, me, Amy (only the coolest person ever next to me of course)



And then there was cake. Yes the cake. And oh my how it was delicious. Some people must notta thought so though, because when everyone had left there were still a few places untouched cake *gasp!* at them!

So below, you will see...



Amanda being fork-fed someone else's confiscated cake! Alicia was the server... Jim's mom was the scowling observer... Amanda was the one saying OMG take a picture RIGHT NOW!!!

And that my friends, is how it happened :)