Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I'm a kid person

Over the years I've logged countless of watching and caring for different kids. People have assumed things of me, saying, "I'll bet you never want kids of your own after watching so many that aren't yours." OR "This is great birth control for you huh?"

I'm going to open it up here and be quite honest about my feelings on this topic. These people to some degree were spot on. For the last 2 and a half years I've been quite certain that I did not want kids for a long while. It's hard enough dealing with someone else's children day after day, and I got to go home at night. I've always felt in my heart that I want to stay home with my kids once I actually have them, so the fact that I would be with them all day AND all night has been very apparent in my mind.

knowing that, the last 2ish years, I've said, yep, you're absolutely right. I don't want kids now, and I'm not sure when I will want them. I have always known that when the time was right, God would lay that desire in my heart. But to some degree I worried that caring for so many other people's kids had tainted my vision of child-rearing and caused me to become bitter towards the process.

I can say in all honesty that over the last 6 months of being "kid free" that I simply cannot imagine living my life void of children. I want them, I need them, but I can wait to have them.

There is so much to be learned from kids. Maybe because I am such an analytic I can take the craziness of life with kids and turn it into some mosaic that looks like art.

Now, you may be thinking at this point that I can only see things this way because I've been kid free for so long now, but it's not true. I've been taking care of 2 little ones the last few weeks and I can say in all sincerity that watching them has made me realize all of this. It's given me the opportunity to remember the good times, the bad times and all the cool stuff that happens in between. Even when I'm all done having my own babies, I hope and pray that God will bring children across my path because the world is just a brighter place with new life running through it.

Now go peel your kid off your screaming toddler.


2 extraordinary comments:

Melissa February 23, 2010 at 8:53 AM  

you will be an incredible mother someday :)

G. February 23, 2010 at 9:16 AM  

agree with melissa. :) I was a nanny before I got married and into the first years of my marriage, until I became pregnant with Kole, actually. For awhile I wasn't sure when I wanted to have kids but, I knew I definitely wanted them. Caring for other peoples kids I feel helped me to realize how valuable children are. When someone entrusts you to take care of their children, it is a huge honor, especially now that I have kids I don't let "just anyone" watch them. Children are a blessing, not a hindrance. In fact, they enhance your life greatly. One thing people always used to say to me is that "you'll be prepared more to have your own kids." in some ways yes but, in a lot of ways it is very different. No doubt you will be great mom!!!
sorry I wrote a book. :)

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