greener grass everywhere

No matter what, in this life you will always find something else you want... something you don't have, something you can't get. Doesn't matter who you are or where you're from, there's bound to be something you want but don't have!

Now, I have this ring you see. And I try to take pictures of it... but my lenses, not made for this kind of photography! I try and try, I make what I have work. But then you get the real deal in your hands and *POW* it works like butter. Just like you always thought it should work.



I felt that way the first time I held my 5D. For months I struggled in photoshop working images for hours on end to get them to look just so...

the first images I looked through from the 5D I melted into a puddle realizing how beautiful they came SOOC {straight out of the camera}



These two particular pictures were taken with a Nikon D700 {Andrea's D700 to be exact} with the Nikon 105mm f/2.8 macro. Butter I tell you. Snap snap is all it took and this girl was sold.

If grass weren't greener on the other side there would be no reason for change. No reason to get better at things. No reason to excel...

But there is, so I see this not as a classic case of envy but rather a learning experience. One which will help me to see what tools I need to do even better work ;)

sometimes you just take awhile to post stuff...

Just over a year ago I left the most fulfilling and probably the most difficult job I've had so far. My two years of full-time nannying came to an end. When I would think about how it would be to leave I came to two conclusions about how I would deal with it. 1 being that I would totally shut down my emotions and not really feel much at all and 2 that I would become a complete basket-case and melt into a sobbing mess.

Truth be told, I did both. Which is why still a year later I am just now posting this.

When I left their house on my last night all was fine. I said good bye, knowing that I would be back often and the love was still there. But as I drove away I completely melted down. I'm talking gut wrenching sobs to the point where I actually had to pull over because it wasn't safe to drive anymore...

It took me two weeks to get up the courage to go back and say hi... whereupon I was received with a very cold shoulder from little Andy...



I went to his preschool to drop off some pictures I had taken for the teachers and upon seeing me totally ignored me. I figured he needed the space and he would come to be when he was ready... he later told his mom that I hadn't come to see him at all and that I didn't even want to hug him. WOW. Needless to say, that left me in another puddle... I left the school and sobbed my eyes out... the little boy I had grown to love so much and had spent the majority of two years with was totally rejecting me. Can you blame him though? He was just doing to me what he thought I was doing to him...

I returned the next day having made sure his mom told him I was coming to see just him and when he saw me that time gave me an unending hug. The kind where i wasn't sure he would ever let go unless I pried him off. And not that I wanted to, but after about 5 minutes of just sitting there with his legs wrapped around me, we finally set out to play.

Time heals stuff like this and that's why I'm ok to write it all down now... I'm not trying to be a baby, I'm just being honest. Before I left last year, we took pictures of each other to remember that time... the girls are old enough that posterity means a lot to them and I have since felt terrible for not sharing the pictures sooner with them. But now I am :)

















and in other news, something I haven't shared yet I don't believe is that starting monday I get to spend the rest of my summer with these 3 kiddos. Maureen emailed me a few months ago asking for suggestions for summer child care... and as I thought about anyone else watching them another summer I couldn't help but cry. I knew that it had to be me. There will never be another summer like this... and it won't be like last... and most certainly next year will be another one to remember. I'm so excited to start a new adventure and a new chapter in this book of life that I feel is just getting better and better :)

more than a flower

Reading my blog this month you may have guessed that I'm a little obsessed with peonies {grin} They were in my bouquet for my wedding and since then I have been picking them as they bloom and placing them all over my apartment...

And sad as it is that they're all dying off now, I am reminded how beautiful the different stages of life are. We see them blossom so bright and colorful in the spring and as the days wear on, I start taking for granted their presence... as with anything too much of a good thing can get boring :)

I am glad to look forward to the reminder of happiness these flowers bring me next spring...



And hopeful that with their return I will have grown in my life... with God, with Steve, with my friends and in my heart.

another wedding weekend

Two years ago if you had told me that in one year I would

#1 - be a wedding photographer

I would have been thrown into a panicked maniacal frenzy and broken down from just the very thought of it

and

#2 that in two years I would be married

I would have downright laughed in your face!

But wouldn't you know, both are true. I love shooting weddings, and I love my husband even more (one would hope ;)

This weekend we travelled down to Maryland to attend Mike and Aiyana's wedding. Steve was a groomsmen and I was finally a guest!


It was so great to enjoy the wedding from a guest point of view, but since becoming an actual wedding photographer (and now even being married) I definitely saw it through different eyes. I noticed a lot more details that I ever remember noticing when I had just been attending the wedding... and I got to take pictures with no pressure :)

And it was also really nice being able to see Steve all dressed up again :) I think I almost enjoyed how nice he looked today even more than I did on our wedding day :)



More pictures from the wedding will be forthcoming... along with the rest of my May and then June weddings! I have a lot of work to do this week *yikes!*

They're almost gone...

until next year when we get them all over again :)

berry shortcake

This is what we did with the berries...



After a flopped attempt at making angel food cake I ran to the store for another mix because lord knows I'm not making it from scratch when it calls for 12 egg whites. No thank you. But the second time around I figured out what I did wrong and all was well again.



Jim and Melissa came over and we enjoyed our berry shortcake immensely.

NOMnomNOM!!!

new addition to the family!

It occurs to me far too often that being a photographer and all I should post inventory of my camera equipment. I am always interested to know what other photogs that I know and love are rocking. Before I was married I even had the cute idea to put all my stuff in one section and call it "what's in my bag" and all steve's equipment in another and call it "almost in my bag" ha, clever... lol.

Anyways, since I have yet to do all that, and being that I acquired quite a bit of equipment through marriage, that post is going to have to wait a while. But I can share with you the newest addition to the Robinson family right now :)

Meet our cute Canon 85mm f/1.8 :)



I know my 5D will take good care of it when I'm not around...



Ahh the love :) the pictures that I posted yesterday and here were all taken with the 85 wide open. I would have rather closed it down a little for clarity, but I decided on this impromptu photo shoot too late in the day to rely on natural light very well {grin}

Goin to a wedding in Maryland this weekend that Steve is a groomsmen in and I will be trying very hard to be more like Rachel and less like Uncle Bob...

Anyhoo, after dinner tonight I will let you all know what we had! Yummmmmmm... :D

berries

Any idea what I'm making with these tomorrow?

My Wedding Day!

I can hardly believe that it's been three weeks since my wedding day. It seems like just yesterday but at the same time like forever ago...

I am one very blessed lady, everything about my wedding was absolutely perfect. I was so happy that day I'm not sure anything could have made me upset :D I also am so so so glad that I chose a good photographer... definitely #1 on my list of important things for a wedding.

Here are only some of the images Rachel took that day.



Melissa and Beka steaming my veil just before Crystal finished my hair and pinned it in



When I saw my flowers come in I was beside myself. They were so breathtakingly beautiful I wish that I could have kept them forever! Which is why I am glad I have good pictures of them!







The first time I saw this picture of Steve I shrieked right out loud and smiled the biggest smile :D









*LOVE* the shoes :)





My absolute favorite group shot of the day!



















Together, Mary (my florist) and Jen (my cake baker) worked on this until it was totally perfect. I cannot explain in words how happy I was with it! It's too bad we had to eat it but man was it gooooood!



We ended up making a kind of spontaneous exit when some of Steve's groomsmen decorated his Best Man's car for us. We climbed in and then I threw my bouquet out the moon roof





















The bridal party pictures were taken around the Elim Bible Institute campus but when we were finished with those, we headed to Mendon Ponds for some more of just the two of us. We spent the night at the Woodcliff Hotel and then early Sunday morning had to get to the airport and were off to Miami for our cruise! Those pictures will be next... :)