Tuesday, December 2, 2008

goldfish unrated

you asked for it... well at least laural did. The story i alluded to in my post about potatoes and fish.

an excerpt to refresh your memory:

Apparently an opaqueish grocery bag is a coffin fit for a gold fish. Goldie (which was not it's real name as the fish did not actually bear a name due to some unfortunate circumstances surrounding how the fish were obtained and a series of events that caused me to hate them deeply for a long time) would not have fit down the toilet hole... so to the dumpster he went.

Now I will start at the beginning. The story of how these goldfish came to be.

Back when I was a mere 10th grader, I had little to do with my time. Somehow I had very little homework, ever. Maybe I just did it all in school, I honestly can't remember. I just know I almost never did any at home. Oh except for global hw... that was horrendous.

Ok, so when I wasn't doing global vocab, I needed other things to occupy my time. And since my family was never much into tv, the only channels we ever had were network. Which meant simply that the only tv there was to watch was
Where in time is Carmen Sandiego and Zoom (yes, i still watched zoom when i was in 10th grade)

We had a kitty kat but I needed something more. So i decided to start harboring fish. I started out with feeder goldfish, you know, the kind you buy for like $.12 to feed to bigger fish? I named them all variations of Winnie the Pooh characters... there was Robin, Pooh, Christoper, Christopher Robin, Tigger, Piglet, Eeyore... etc this list goes on awhile.

Beeeeecaaauuse...

They died on a quite regular basis.

I kept buying fish, and one would die... I'd buy like 2 more. Little did i know that in order for fish to grow healthily, they need approximately 1 gallon of water per inch of fish. So I'm gonna take a stab and guess that having 6 inch and a half fish in a one gallon bowl probably wasn't the best setup.

Also, it didn't help that because I didn't like the stinky fish poo, I cleaned the bowl almost daily. With soap.

I became known as a fish killer.

Well, I decided that my love for fish was being thwarted by laws of nature and if i was serious about being a fish owner, I would have to move to the big guns.

So i went out and bought myself a 10 gallon tank and all the setup that goes along with it. I put those really pretty fan-tail goldfish in there and black and orange mollys and also neon tetras. I found them all to be aesthitacally pleasing and the fact that they didn't cost a whole lot was a plus too.

Soon though, I got bored with just a 10 gallon and wanted to move to a bigger tank. So i started searching and found that they are quite expensive, and on my 10th grade (well by this point 11th grade) income, I really couldn't afford to buy one. So I searched the classifieds and found a 45 gallon tank and all the accessories for like $70 or something. Still I could not afford it, but since it was around Christmastime I asked my parents to buy it for me as an early present... and i would then forego most other presents that year.

It worked! They wanted to buy it for me and i was STOKED.

So I got the tank, the set up, everything and proceeded to set it up as well as my 10 gallon all in my bedroom. You can imagine that a 45 gallon tank would take up quite a bit of space. It's not like I could put it on a bookshelf like I had with the 10... no way. This thing took up almost as much space as my twin bed. And my room wasn't that big to begin with.

It wasn't long before I realized that I wasn't able to enjoy my fish tank up there and convinced my parents that it would be best appreciated where all could see.

In our very large kitchen.

Thus the move to the kitchen and the point of this story begins.

By this point I had several goldfish. All picked for varying points of attractiveness. These were no longer feeders... they were the nice big pretty fat ones. I loved them. I also had the mollys and several neon tetras and also a frog and an albino plecostamus. You could see its heart beat when it was sucked onto the side of the tank.

Well, now that the tank had moved into a "family area" it was now subject to any and all other fish that other members of the family wanted to put in it. The deal was basically this: If i had my tank in family space, then the family was allowed to put whatever they wanted in there.

I was not happy. This was after all, MY fish tank. I couldn't help the fact that I was only 15 years old and the only space that belonged to me and me alone was 8x12.

But there it stood. And soon, 10 majestic angelfish descended upon the waters.

Did you know that goldfish are aggresive by nature? We found this out quickly when my goldfish began eating the angelfish's fins.

Needless to say, I really didn't care much. As the angelfish were against my wishes to begin with. The battle continued and eventually it boiled down to me having to relinquish my goldfish for the sake of the angelfish. Does that make sense to you? It was after all MY tank.

I was so annoyed with all of this, I expressed to my parents that what was supposed to be one of the greatest Christmas presents ever was no longer a present at all... and that since their fish had taken over my tank, i wanted to give it up and let my dad have the tank.

They agreed and the tank was no longer mine. I got the normal Christmas presents that year.

Slowly, the angelfish died off, until there were only 3 left. Springtime had rolled around and my dad had taken up fishing in his friend's pond for bullfish. However, in the process of catching said bullfish, he caught 2 coy. aka ENORMOUS GOLDFISH.

What do you think happened to those goldfish? They came home with him and went
straight in the tank with the ANGELFISH!!!

My life had come to an end. Heartbreak ensued.

My fish, my hobby, my joy... it was all over. That was the day I forever gave up fish. (except the occasional grilled salmon)

Those d**n goldfish have been living in that tank for the last 8 years. And finally, last Saturday, one of them finally died.

Oh, and the 3 remaining angelfish in the tank when the huge goldfish began life in there. Yep, they died. Quickly. The goldfish killed them.

I'm not bitter about this, really.



Photobucket

5 extraordinary comments:

Melissa December 2, 2008 at 11:12 AM  

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha



hysterical

I'm sorry about your precious fish tank. Someday you'll have a house all to yourself to put whatever kind of fish you want in your tank! :D

G. December 2, 2008 at 1:45 PM  

laughing laughing laughing. You are too funny.:)

Jim December 3, 2008 at 1:00 PM  

Great story as usual Amanda!

Laural Out Loud December 8, 2008 at 9:39 PM  

I knew there was a good story there! Maybe someday you can have your perfect tank back again.

On a side note, I'm so sick of our tank and waitig for the last fish to croak.

Tracy December 10, 2008 at 4:23 PM  

Here's my story - some friends of my dads had a backyard pond and gave me some fish to put in my little tank. I went to clean the tank and I put the fish in the sink to stay alive while I scrubbed their tank. Unfortunately, I didn't realize the water I was filling the sink with was hot and I was so damn confused when my fishes started going belly up. I reached in to grab one and burned my hand.

I BOILED MY FISH!!! I quickly filled a bowl with cool water and transferred the living fish over and yeah...

Moral of the story - I've never wanted fish again in my life.

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