killer

I admit it.

I'm totally guilty...

I'm a killer... and an abuser...

I use and abuse, that's what I do.

The sad thing is that my victims never have a choice in the matter. They don't know what's happening... they don't have a voice...

I pick them, I use them and then I get rid of them.


Wow, I sound really sick don't I?

My victims are most commonly known as "blue jeans"


Here's the deal. I love jeans... however, I never find good ones. I did find some this weekend though. I decided it was time to finally kill off get rid of my trusty rusty old ones.

I found them at the beginning of summer 2006... and have been wearing them constantly since.

I did give them a break for the winters because they are actually shorter, like capris, but as for summer, they're as close to long pants as I'll go.

Finally this summer, they were wearing so thin that I just knew one more tug on the leg to pull them up when I sat down would be the end of them.

And it happened...

I pulled one too many times and POP there was a huge hole.

I was sad for a few days... but then talked myself into still wearing them since "holey" jeans are actually cool.

Well after the next 3 holes I wasn't exactly whistling the same tune.

This particular pair of jeans was much more loyal to me than any of my more recent victims pairs.

Anyways, they are finally being disposed of. It's a sad day, but I'm glad that I have a replacement... I mean, it wouldn't be right to move on to a new victim pair when I still have my old one in tow.

Here is a scary sight that I found as I photographed them last night. For documentation purposes of course... just in case someone tries to accuse me of something... err i mean jean abuse.

They would have all the evidence they need.

Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

Do you see the little man in there? Look closely... there is a head and he's crossing his arms and then he has very long legs...

Well in case you don't see it, I made it a little more obvious for you.


Yah, if that's not weird, I don't know what is.

And what's weirder, is that I actually noticed it. (that's not entirely true, my mom pointed it out and then I found it)

I think the most exciting part about these jeans biting the dust is the fact that the crotch wasn't the first thing to wear out.

I know, I know, that sounds so nasty, but when you're not supermodel skinny, your legs rub together when you walk wearing the fabric thin. Don't tell me you've never fallen victim to your "notsoloyal" jeans doing this to you.

The hole there in the crotch isn't even from wear! it's just a tear in the ACTUAL seam!

Ok, enough about jean murdering.

I need to get to business... these jeans have to go, err i mean die.

noreply-comment@blogger.com

Does anyone out there know what I'm talking about here?

This could be the single most annoying thing in my bloglife... to date.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE getting comments, like any normal blogger...

and I LOVE responding to them and chatting with new bloggie friends.

However, there are times when I receive a comment,am all ready to respond because they made me laugh/think THAT much,I hit replyAnd I see this:

noreply-comment@blogger.com

AAAAARGHH!!!

So i thought i would write a note to my readers, and especially those who comment chat with me to let you know that I want to talk to you!!! But sometimes i can't!!!

So here's how it works, there is a little check box that all you have to do is give a little teeny tiny click with your mouse, and then VOILA! we can email!

Go to your dashboard and then next to your picture, click "edit profile"

the third box down says "show my email address"

Click it and then whenever you comment, I (and the rest of the blogosphere) can comment you back!

Now go do it! hee :)

super amazing outfit day

***UPDATED: Here's the whole outfit. I liked it so much I wore the same thing today just with a different hoodie, and different color shoes :) ***

Saturday was the day...

The $12 jeans sale at Old Navy.

Melissa and I went, and let me tell you.

It.was.crazy.

Black friday kinda crazy!

I don't even like old navy jeans that much. I haven't bought a pair in a couple years... but I thought, heck maybe they make them different now and i'll actually like them. Besides, how can you beat $12?

I went, I found, I bought.

Yes, I bought 3 pairs! Two were $12 and the other was only $10! It's far more exciting than it should be when I find good jeans. Pathetic really.

It's one of my most hated things to do. I usually find one pair of good jeans and literally wear ONLY THAT pair until they start getting holes everywhere. (if i'm feeling less tired I may follow this up with a pic of my latest jeans that have fallen victim into the black hole of retired jeans)

Anyways, the actual reason for this post was to talk about how ever-lovingly comfortable and cute I feel today. Comfortable and cute don't usually work in the same sentence for me.

I wore my dark wash pair of old navy jeans,



and this adorable red hoodie I found at target, but could not find online to show you (also something I may follow up with later... right after I take a nap!)

I also had these super cute flats that I haven't worn much this summer (but i should have been!) I'm just too much of a flip-flop addict. The guy who gives me pedicures can attest to that lol.

So today was a good wardrobe day... my hair on the other hand? That's another story. Not so pretty stuff goin on there... but hey, I got half the look down, what can i say?!

Josh and Anna

About a year ago, before I was ever even thinking about doing photography professionally, Anna told me that I was going to be taking family pictures for her next (this) summer.

She wanted the baby to be about a year old... although I've been around this last year and we could have done pictures once a month and STILL not captured all the cuteness that makes up Jesse.

So, long about March, I began venturing out in my photography skills... I have been taking pictures on and off for about 6 years... but it's finally turning into a business... and hopefully a profession.

When I talked to Anna about what she wanted these pictures to be, I was so inspired...

Each time I looked through the viewfinder I could imagine just what she was asking me for... and again while I was processing them...

Here, let me just tell you through the pictures

(can you see how their heads form the shape of a heart, I love that :)

She told me that her grandparents were married very young and were such a beautiful example of how love makes life beautiful. They were so in love and the evidence of it has stayed them through the years. There is only one picture of them when they were young and she said what a reminder to her and the rest of her family of how amazing the love was between them.


So while we wanted to shake things up a bit and do some really cool and fun pictures, we still wanted to make sure that we captured the love between them and how it has made the two of them into a family.

Looking at these pictures, imagining that they were taken fifty years ago is really amazing...


I can just see it... and it sobers me to know that the most important part of taking pictures is capturing a moment that will forever be lost in time... but is always going to be a part of our lives... and the way that we will remember that space in time.

Can you see the heart in Jesse's ear here?



This is Judah. It's just so amazing to watch kids grow and learn. He has just turned 3 and his personality is just blossoming. He is great company, and I love hangin out with the kid :)


And how sweet are they together... I found this quote and it fits them... "A brother shares childhood memories and grown-up dreams." -Author Unknown

I know that's the prayer of their parents, and it does my heart good to see kids growing up with such amazing guidance.


I am so thankful and blessed to be able to do pictures like these...I've truly been realizing that it is a God-given gift...

and I want to use it not only to the best of my ability...

but to His glory... cuz He's the reason I can do this in the first place!

If you want to see the rest of their pictures, you can visit my photo blog (that's right folks, not an actual website yet, but it's coming!)

I don't "feel" God

Before I went to Mexico, I did a lot of thinking about what I expected to get from the trip. I knew that it would be a great time with a lot of people I was close with. That we would get to reach out to the people down there and pray with them, share with them... etc.

But what I was unsure about was how my emotions were going to react.

Last year I went to India.

It was my first time *ever* travelling internationally, and I was helping to orchestre the travel plans for 19 people.

Hmmm... that doesn't sound like a relaxing time.

It wasn't. In fact, we ended up having serious travel problems that all began with our very first flight being cancelled.

It took us 105 hours to travel what should have taken about 40.

By the time we got there, I was so unbelievably stressed out that I didn't know how to react to anything. Add in the culture shock and I was a complete mess.

Don't get me wrong, my experiences were amazing, and I saw God move over there through us and others in ways I'd never seen before.

However, my emotions were going NUTS! I was a ball of stress... my hair started falling out (literally), I barely slept... I was a mess.

So my first extreme missions experience was just that. Extreme.

It occurred to me shortly after coming home from India that although the trip was unforgettable and really great, I never wanted to do that again. Specifically, I never wanted my emotions and stress levels to get that crazy.

So when I began to think about Mexico and what it held, I started to think about how I was going to deal with the reality that I am very much led by my emotions. I needed to chillax and take some time to recognize that I don't have to feel everything to make it real.

You see, I'm the kind of person where even if i hear someone tell me something a hundred times, I still may not believe it. It sounds pathetic, but I need that constant affirmation. I am learning to deal with it, but it can cause some real insecurity.

Therefore, I have found that when I am not having an emotional experience, I tend to disregard the power of our extraordinary God.

I knew that this was a problem for me, and I specfically decided that I was not going to put God in a box.

I had to realize that whether or not I felt God moving or not was irrelevant.

He still lives and moves among us.

I have never seen God.

I have never seen an angel.

I have never seen a demon.

But I have seen this.

Cancerous tumors physically shrink.

Hair grow back on a lady who had bald spots all over her head.

A little girl who couldn't walk because of a tumor get up and start running all over the place.

Broken hearts healed...

It brings tears to my eyes when I think back on these things... I am seriously tearing up as I write...

My point is this.

God doesn't fit our view of Him.

He's most defintely not hiding Himself from us... but sometimes the places we are looking are too limited...

I see God everyday now.

But I still don't "feel" Him.

I don't know about you, where you're at, what your situation is. But I know that in my life, I've found that when I ask God a question, or for Him to help me with something... the answer isn't how I would always imagine it to be.

I don't hear a booming voice from Heaven...

I don't get this crazy emotional entranced experience where I have a "tada" moment and suddenly know what to do.

Sometimes, the answer comes from someone else's mouth... or a thought that comes to mind...

God is always there...

But he's not always a "feeling"

I'm learning how to see God everywhere I go and in all the things I do. It's amazing to me how much I limit myself and God in everyday life.

Just because I can't feel Him... doesn't mean He's not there.

Public Market

Here in Rochester, we have a public market that is up in the city. I went once back in the springtime on a field trip with one of the girls. I wasn't able to really take it all in since I had Andy with me and there were a LOT of 3rd graders, not to mention all the regular people there.

Anyways, I have wanted to go back since, not only because the prices are amazing, but because I knew it would be a really great place to take pictures. (always the ulterior motive... heh!)

The first thing we saw were peaches.

Gloriously delicious and amazing.

I have been eating peaches everyday for like a week now. I love them!


These were shaped funky and I just thought they looked cool.


As we moved along, there were sooo many different kinds of fruits and vegetables.

I seriously couldn't handle how amazing everything looked... I tried really hard to narrow these pictures down to less, but I really couldn't.


Yah, the carrots are dirty, but they're huge! and I love that you can see that woman's hand with the money :)


Man, these almost look good enough that I wish I had some for dinner... but actually I love asparagus. The only bad thing is the way your *pee* smells after you eat it! But hey, that happens with garlic... and i'm not giving that up either.


mmm... I didn't used to like summer squash or zuccini. But after years of having it on the table during the summer, I am a convert. I love it steamed and then with some parmesan and garlic... sooo tasty!


Could these raspberries look any better? I mean seriously, I am drooling right now as I'm writing this.

I LOVE raspberries.

That probably has a lot to do with the fact that I don't get them often. We bought some though and I promptly consumed them. I could just sit there and eat them for a really really long time.


Then there are these... sour cherries.

Oh my goodness, how I wanted to make a pie. But I seriously don't have time for things like that right now. Maybe come winter I will be able to do some stuff like that!


There were also a ton of fresh flowers and other beautiful plants.


I was so bummed that we didn't really have time to stick around and enjoy ourselves to the extent that I would have liked, but there's always next time!

And next time is THIS saturday.

Favorite things swap

I heard about this in the blogosphere a few months ago and have wanted to participate, but haven't had one cross my path until now. So I jumped in!

If you'd like to participate, just click the button above and sign up! The deadline for entering is Monday, August 25th.

This is so cool, if you join in, let me know. I can't wait to go out and do this. I'm a nerd. I know.

All about I

I am... learning new things every day
I think... about my future, all the time
I know... who I am
I want... to live my life in a way that will impact my generation and the ones to come
I have... no desire to live a mediocre life
I wish... that other people would catch the fire i have burning inside of me
I hate... when people make excuses (and when I make them too)
I miss... my grandma sometimes
I fear... nothing (or I would like to think. I fear a great deal of things, but I have more trust in God than I do fear)
I feel... tired right now
I hear... the Olympics in the background
I smell... something gross and unidentified. I'm actually thinking it's my wet pants
I search... for the beauty in everything (seriously I do. it's kind of pathetic)
I wonder... about a lot of things
I regret... wasting time
I love... super saturated blue skies with clouds
I care... about people
I always... try to understand
I am not... normal
I believe... in the power of God
I dance... rarely
I sing... in my car
I don't always... floss my teeth
I write... whenever i can
I win... at everything i play. ha! not
I lose... when i don't try new things
I never... want to be ordinary
I listen... to music
I can usually be found... at the computer, in my car, reading or sleeping (that's really sad)
I'm scared of... the dark sometimes
I read... as much as i can, whenever I have time
I forget... to brush my teeth sometimes (hmm, sounds like the things i forget usually have to do with personal hygiene. i should fix that)
I just... got back from the beach
I am happy about... the pictures we just took!

I want YOU

to go and join

Why?

Because I just finished The Devil Wears Prada and I need some more pleasure reading!

If you have a book that you've read and would recommend, go over and link up.

You don't actually have to put a book UP to get one yourself.

So with that in mind, if you want this book, then be the first commenter to say so!


I watched the movie before I knew this was a book. The movie was great...

The book was better.

That's how it goes for the most part though.

I loved the writing style of the author, it was easy to read, but very detailed.

The basis of this book is a young 23 or so year old girl just graduating from college seeking out work experience to launch her career as a journalist.

She finds herself neck deep in the fashion industry when she lands a job at one of the most fashion concious magazines in the world. Her boss is a class A wench (because I don't want to say what she really is!)

The story is a lot of fun to read, and it's based on actual events which makes it even better!

I actually got this good read from Laural at Mamasphere so the swap does work!

Let me know if you want it and it will be off :)

I am a failure

I have a confession to make.

I have failed.

At my vow to never eat meat from McDonald's again.

I broke my vow of meatlessness yesterday in a moment of pre-planned weakness.

I live less than a mile from McD's. And I drive by it DAILY. Usually multiple times.

There are no other fast food joints within a 10 mile radius of my house, so McD's is the only convenient choice.

Well, yesterday on the way home from church, the kiddos (my niece and nephew) began their begging for some grease and chicken fat from the nastiest of all fast food places.

And deep down in my stomach, I remembered how much I love that double greaseburger.

I tried to remind myself of just how nasty the last one was that I had... but I couldn't recollect it well enough. The memory wasn't strong enough to replace my deep affinity for it in times past.

And while I remained true to my vow as I watched the kids eat their nasty chicken... the temptation was there. Ever-constant, ever-lurking.

When I woke from my nap and left the house to ONCE AGAIN pass by the McDonalds... I stopped.


And i purchased the double grease.

And i consumed the double grease.

And it was goooood.

I feel like such a hypocrite... especially now that I'm admitting I did it. But whatever...

when was the last time YOU showered?

The last week and a half has gone by in a BLUR. Literally a blur.

Yesterday, I was planning to take a shower before church, but realized when I tried peeling my eyes open at 7am (yet again) that there was no way that was happening. As it stood, I barely made it to church for practice in one piece.

The Mexico team performed one of the dramas we did down there in both services yesterday morning. I am trying to get a copy of the dvd so that i can post it up here (not to mention for my own benefit... i have been unsuccessful at every attempt so far in trying to tape it. how annoying)

Anyways, this is where I'm going with all of that. I felt nasty, dirty and grungy yesterday... and I thought to myself, "I can't even REMEMBER the last time I showered."

Eww.

that's gross.

But take heart dear friends. It's just the sleep deprivation at work. Because I soon remembered that I had indeed showered just this past saturday.

I'm not that sick.

Anyways, I have a couple posts in the queue and I just have to hook up my laptop so I can get my pics to put up on them. And then I have 3 shoots that I did this weekend to work on. I am stoked about this, and since I have releases from all of them, I will be sharing them as soon as they get processed.

For now though, I have exciting news. Well exciting for me.

Get ready for it.

I HAVE THE DAY OFF TOMORROW!

This day off has come from an unfortunate series of events, but it is alas, still a day off.

My plans for the day:

The morning hours are predicted to be cloudy bright. PERFECT for picture taking.

So Mom, Dad, the kiddos (aka my two nephews and niece) are heading to the beach for a photo shoot of the three of them. It's going to be a surprise for their parents for Christmas.

Then, when the day gets hot, and the sun comes out, we're going to veg on the beach and swim in the lake! I can't think of a better way to spend a day off...

Family, fun, sun, pictures... and BEACH!

the new do

After posting the "different view" yesterday and receiving so many rave comments on my new hair color, I was inspired to go out and do a self-portrait photo shoot today so that I would have something to show you all.

These ended up coming out much nicer than I expected, but I can't choose which one I like better. Truly and honestly I am not reaching for a compliment here... I'm just sayin, I couldn't choose, so I picked both.

So here's my new color and today it actually looks good! That may or may not have something to do with the fact that I actually did more than dry it with a towel *grin*

Ya know what's cool about the blogosphere?

This is one of the most drastic color experiments I've done... and I can't say ever, cuz it's not true. Just the most drastic in quite a while. And I wasn't even that excited about it. But after yesterday, I was like "yah! i've totally got blonde hair!" It's slightly more exciting this way i think :)

Anyways, I have a lot of things to blog about... all in good time my friends, all in good time. My life has been a crazy cycle of a never-ending list of things to do lately. I'm sure you can relate.

And this blog seems to have taken a place dangerously near the top of my "thingstodo" list... and that includes reading other blogs! If you get like 3 comments all at once from me, then it's because i haven't had a chance to go through my reader in the last couple days and I'm just getting to it!

Oh well!

WWWAT: A different view

This week's wordy wednesday with a twist is "a different view."

I have been meaning to post this picture for a few days since I took it to show off my new blonde locks, and since the angle was different than I would normally do, it serves a dual purpose! I don't have a ton for this week, but I actually have been inspired by this picture to try this angle more often.

It's taken me a couple months to go completely blonde, but I finally did it!

If you want to see the stages, you can look here and here.

And maybe one of these days I'll actually post a picture of what it looks like when I took more than 30 seconds to do something with it ;)

Hop on over to The Adventures of an American Alien for more different views!

The *littletalkedaboutoutsidetheboundariesofmyyard* LIFE

327 cans of beer on the wall, 327 cans of beeeeeer!

Take three down, pass 'em around!

324 cans of beer on the wall!

That number *327* was how many cans of beer the newest tenant at the apartment building next to my house drank on his recent trip to the Adirondacks.

Let me give you the stats, so that you can have a more clear picture of what went on.

They were gone for 3 days (a weekend)

There were 2 and a half guys actually drinking the beer (because the 3rd one only drank 6 or 7 cans) and they weren't lying, because they brought the cans home.

That's (if the 3rd guy did indeed only drink 6 to 7 cans) 160 beers per person.

And 53.3 cans a day.



Welcome to the *littletalkedaboutoutsidetheboundariesofmyyard* LIFE.



We are convinced that the antenna on top of the roof of that apartment building is not for the purpose of acquiring a television signal. It has an alternative purpose, and that is to attract *the crazies*

They seriously come out of the woodwork. There is a guy (the one who drinks all the beer) who hails from Colorado I believe. He moved here maybe 6 months ago, and now has 3 brothers all living in the same vicinity!

Come on people, I live in smalltown NY. It's not even cheap to live here! I swear that thing is a sonar device.

But I digress. The reason and the root of this particular post are the current happenings occurring (as I write) on the back porch of said building.

I went out to eat dinner with my folks tonight to the sound of "I'm your lady" by Celine Dion BLARING out one of the windows. It happened to be coming from the window of possibly the only sane person living in that building (heretofore known as Irish*), and I was honestly surprised that

a) he would be listening to Celine and

b) it would be BLASTING out the window.

So my parents and I speculated for awhile, wondering what might be the cause of this kind of misplaced behaviour.

We thought that maybe it was a phase...

maybe he had a rough day...

maybe he was doing it to annoy the drunk people in the back...


Further into our meal, he came out and joined us... immediately revealing the reason behind the music.

We guessed right... on the third try. It was in fact, for the sole purpose of annoying the people in the back yard getting drunk. Again.

I informed him that if he REALLY wanted to annoy them, that he should be playing some "Jesus music" To which he responded, "oh trust me, if I had some I would be!"

I was quick to remedy the situation and pulled out a copy of the Jonathan Stockstill cd I had in one of the cd players.

It is currently blaring out his window.



There is too much to detail as I try to outline the happenings at the house next door... so I'm sticking to the beer stories. I may possibly expound upon this on a later post, but we'll see.

My favorite part of this crew getting drunk out back every night is that they have taken to lining up the beer cans along the bottom of their porch railing and trying to stack them all the way up to the top part of the railing.

However, their efforts are spoiled each morning and they have to start over every day.

Another guy who lives in the building collects all the beer cans every morning and returns them for the deposit.

They need to either

a) start drinking more at a time so they can fill in the railing or

b) master the art of not passing out before they can safely secure their cans in a place where Stan* can't get to them

Either way, it's a sad state.

We challenged Irish (who claims to live at 61 1/2) to begin his own blog on the state of affairs at 61 (the name we use for the building) However, he currently does not have a computer. Sadness.

In the event that he acquires one though, he will be beginning a more thorough account of what goes on over there. After all, most of my information is 2nd, if not 3rd hand. If he does create such a blog, you can trust me to let you know, as I'm sure you're all dying to know more about this part of my *littletalkedaboutoutsidetheboundariesofmyyard* LIFE.

* name has been changed to protect the innocent.

all sorts of bicycle fun

During the Spring this year, I thought it would be really nice to have the capacity to go on bike rides this summer. However, Andy just turned 4 at the end of July, and I wasn't really confident in his ability to take on the kind of bike ride his sisters and I could.

So I did some research. I found that my little Civic could only hold an up to 3 bike, bike rack. I bought one. But before I did, I had to come up with a plan for how we were going to actually transport FOUR bikes to wherever it was we would go.

I thought about one of those tag-along bikes, and found that they weren't exorbitantly priced. They were however, HUGE and it would have to go on the bike rack. I was hoping i could fit it into the trunk.

The research continued (I'm making this sound like it took a lot of time and effort, but in reality I didn't spend very much time at all... google is good like that. I found what i wanted pretty much right away)

There is such a thing called a "trail gator." It's a bar that connects from the back of my bike to the front of his bike lifting his front wheel off the ground allowing it to trail. It's sooooo cool! So we got one! (The link I put on here is to the actual site, but Sean found it on ebay for about half)


He loves the thing and it works so well. My bike and the girls 2 fit on the bike rack and then Andy's fits into the trunk. Plus, he pretty much thinks it's the coolest thing ever :) Can't say that I blame him. I think it's pretty cool too!



Here he is on a little ride with my dad. By the way, my dad is like kid central. I don't know what it is, but pretty much all kids LOVE my dad :)

Anyways, yesterday we went on a 2 1/2 mile ride! I'm so excited to have this now, if you couldn't tell...