i love you, no i hate you

This is the conversation I had over and over with my Christmas tree. While I have no pictures of our trek through the tree farm to find it, I do have the picture I showed you yesterday.



There were so many things about this tree that I loved. It was near perfectly shaped, though I really do like a good Charlie Brown Christmas tree. The tradition in me says I have to have a perfect tree but someday maybe I'll have two trees. One perfect and one scrawny gangly tree ;)

For the last 4 years I have waited to use these hibiscus lights I got from IKEA. They hung in my bedroom for a looooong time, but I knew they would be just perfect on a Christmas tree. A little bit of tropical to this symbol of the cold winter we are enduring.



I also came across some vintage flower petal lights that I had saved from one of my Mom's merciless attic cleanings. She had used them when I was a kid and knowing someday I would like to see them used again, I stashed them away.

Someday also I hope to steer away from the dozens of ornaments I have like this:



They're certainly pretty I think, but they are lacking in style. I like things to be different and a little funky. This just seems too traditional.

My favorite ornament this year though was our "first Christmas" ornament. We bought it while we were on our honeymoon and if I didn't tell you it was a first Christmas ornament you would never know. That's why I love it ;) It's special :)



There were a few other special ornaments on the tree this year. I didn't take pictures of all of them, but a few that I really love.

This is one of my first ornaments. It's not my first Christmas one, my mom still has that. But I just love this rocking horse. It's been around literally as long as I can remember.



Then this one is one I remember picking out on vacation one year when I was very young. Probably 6 or 7. I don't often see ornaments that pop out at me, I don't like ornaments for the sake of ornaments. Which is probably why I don't really like the Christmas balls I have so many of. But I do like them when they have a meaning or I think are exceptionally pretty.



And the most special of all is this one.



It found its place front and center on the tree flagged by two of my other favorites, the dragonfly and butterfly. It was the ornament Steve gave to me on the night he proposed :)

Now, here's where the part about how I hate this Christmas tree comes in.

It was big. Our apartment is small. I had to move our loveseat into our bedroom and my dresser into the living room to make space for it. So for a month, I had a 2 inch passageway to squeeze into the laundry room and was putting my underwear away in front of anyone who happened to be visiting at the time.

At first it was ok. Because I loved that beautiful tree. But as the weeks wore on, I grew to despise the lack of space. Then there was the fact that from the time we chopped that sucker down it dropped copious amounts of needles. Everyone asks me the same questions:

Was it a fresh cut? Yes

Did you water it daily? Yes

Check and check. But still, the amount of needles dropped from that thing were almost incomprehensible. I don't think there is a way I could explain how many needles dropped without sounding like I'm exagerrating... but trust me when I say I scooped up enough to fill at least 1 gallon jug INSIDE the house, and what was left at the burn pile may have been another half gallon jug.





This was obviously after the tree was taken down... and I had already vacuumed about 4 times in the process of undecorating the tree. Which, in retrospect, I learned a valuable lesson about. Vacuums don't like pine needles. The entire length of my vacuum hose was chock full of needles. I had to scoop them out with a fork. Then instead of vacuuming up the mess above I swept most of it first and tossed them in a bag by hand.

Thank goodness that tree is gone. I can only hope that by next Christmas we have a better place to put one. Since if we had space for it, I'd be happier to deal with the mess it made ;)