out with the old, in with the new

My first rule about blogging was to never post about how little I blogged. But I feel like I'm going through some stuff right now that is spiraling into a big combination of things I am not doing that is just making me feel worse.

That probably doesn't make much sense. The only thing I can think is that marriage changed my life in ways I wasn't prepared for. I was prepared for the fact that I would have a new immediate family and that I would have a roommate for the first time in years... but I think the details were overshadowed a bit by the drama of the wedding and everything surrounding it.

This summer was really hard for me. I worked about 9 hours a day watching kids. I left for work before Steve and got home after he did. It was awful quite honestly. We spent evenings very much in love but straining to find temperature control in our second story of a very old house apartment.

It's also been difficult managing the flux time we are spending here until we find a bigger place to fit all our junk. I've vacillated so many times on cleaning house and throwing so much stuff out or giving it away irrationally, but it just doesn't make sense. Our plan is not to be here long so it would be counter-productive to get rid of stuff. In the meantime we just live like this.

But it's hard. And not hard like some people know hard. That's part of my problem. I feel like I can't complain because there are other people out there (probably people who will read this too) who could only wish for problems like mine.

The reality is though that this is my world. And while I have a fantastic life, some of the pieces don't always fit perfectly. Big shocker!

I've taken very few (unpaid) pictures over the last couple months and even the ones I do take I'm afraid to show for fear that some of my unwarranted complaining will spill over and offend someone. But I'm sick of living in this place mentally (and literally too!)

So I'll start now... it's a new year and a new day. I don't want to live holed up the way I have been. Blogging was always so much fun for me. I enjoy reading other people's blogs and I hope other people enjoy reading mine too. But even if they don't I still like the outlet.

This is a picture I've had about a month now, sitting and waiting to be posted. In fact, there are more like it but I'm not sure they'll get posted now so far past their time. This seemed appropriate though because there's a good clean up story which I'll share next ;)