Monday, July 21, 2008

A letter to American Airlines

Dear American,

Recently, I've had the chance to fly with you from Chicago to Buffalo on the last leg of my trip back from Mexico. I would like to share with you my observances, and suggest a possible change in your travel accomodations for the future.

I am aware that flight *** was an intercontinental flight, and there was no real foresight that there would be international travellers boarding. However, when 18+ people are coming from a connecting international flight, I vote that majority wins and the flight is automatically considered "international."

While in Mexico, I aquired a bug of sorts (some refer to it as a parasite, but as the days have worn on, I am more and more convinced that my friend Kyle is no more than a waning bacterial nuisance on his last legs anyways.)

Here in lies the problem. BEFORE I actually discovered that Kyle was only a passing phase, I had to experience some serious one-on-one time with him. Meaning that I spent about half of my flight from Chicago to Buffalo in your airplane bathroom.

This letter is in no way a complaint about the bathroom or the services I received aboard your craft. It is simply a way of bringing something I feel is important to your attention.

During my time in that airplane bathroom, it happened that the "fasten seatbelt" light went on. Not once, but twice. However, I was unable to do so. Therefore, I kindly suggest that you install seatbelts into your airplane bathrooms. This would alleviate the problem that occurs when someone is using your one and only cabin bathroom the majority of the trip and the flight attendant is getting annoyed that "people aren't staying in their seats."

Please consider my idea, if not for practical reasons, then as a safety precaution. After all, it wouldn't be good for someone to have a case of the "igottagonows" and feel unsafe doing so, resulting in "staying in their seat." That could be a problem.

Thank you for your time and I hope to be flying with you soon, with my toilet belt securely fastened.



12 extraordinary comments:

Melissa July 21, 2008 at 10:01 AM  


oh man. i love you! lol

Megan July 21, 2008 at 9:18 PM  

yikes! too funny, though. :)

i hope you never go through that again. i hope i never go through that either...


Sgt and Mrs Hub July 22, 2008 at 12:03 AM  

I have never crossed the threshold of an airplane bathroom. And I hope I never have to.

Ha! A toilet belt. That was too funny!!!


Kelli July 25, 2008 at 10:01 AM  

Hahaha! I've had that exact same thought. I'd just be a little leary of how sanitary that toilet belt would be..... Ew!

You'll have to let us know if they respond. :)

Chelle July 25, 2008 at 4:45 PM  

Ha! I have actually wondered the same thing...hehe! I don't think it would be, um, very :)

Happy POW!

Carol July 25, 2008 at 4:48 PM  

Completely genius idea!

I hope they roll with it.

Simply Shannon July 25, 2008 at 9:09 PM  

You poor thing.
They really should invent something. It just doesn't seem reasonable to expect people to be able to control bodily functions according to the amount of turbulence in the air.

Mamasphere July 25, 2008 at 9:47 PM  

During a 9 hour flight to Brasil, you can't just hold it if there's turbulence. You have to brave it! After nearly getting thrown off the toilet, I also agree that seatbelts in the bathrooms would be a great idea.

Amanda @ notsoextraordinary July 25, 2008 at 9:48 PM  

in response to the comments about the sanitariness (is that a word?) i can assure that in those circumstances, cleanliness was the LAST thing on my mind LOL!!!

Jen July 26, 2008 at 12:16 AM  

I wonder if this is a frequent problem with flights coming back from Mexico. Damn that Montezuma's revenge!!

anti-supermom July 26, 2008 at 8:45 AM  

Seriously funny! Loved how you closed the story.

Still love your parasite friend too.

McMommy July 27, 2008 at 10:56 PM  

You crack me up!

Airplane bathrooms...ugh!! That is pure torture for me! I swear I don't drink water or consume anything 24 hours prior to flying for fear of using those bathrooms!

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