Friday, July 18, 2008

the story of otis aka kyle

You've probably heard the saying, "what happens in Mexico, stays in Mexico."

But you've most likely not heard the saying, "what gets eaten in Mexico, stays in your stomach."

fairly lame attempt at coming up with a new little ditty, but there is a point (and what's more, an actual tale)

The hotel i stayed at in the mex was right next door to McDonald's. I'm sure you remember my previous encounters with meat at McD's rendering my appetite for the stuff completely nill. I refuse to eat meat there... especially in another country.

However, the vow only extended as far as meat. I still stop by for the occasional fry or shake or whathaveyou. The last day of the trip, I found myself at your local mexican mcdonald's sharing a McFlurry with noneotherthan Alicia. We actually shared the mcflurry...

That night we flew to chicago whereupon arriving found ourselves in desparate ifidon'tfindabathroomRIGHTnowit'sgonnabeaseriousproblem mode. This lasted for the remainder of the trip, and so kindly toned down just as i was arriving back at my house... when I finally had anything i could possibly need accessible. that's how it works right?

Anyways, Day 2 of being home rolls around and while the frequent trips to the b-room aren't occurring quite so frequently, I had pain that would suggest there is more going on than just a little indigestion.

Enter the idea of a parasite.

I decided along with Alicia that if either of us did indeed have a parasite, that it would HAVE to be named. Thus the quest for a name began. The first one that popped up was Otis. However, my ornery neighbor's last name is Otis and I didn't feel right about having an "otis" living in my stomach.

So the search continued... and along came "Kyle." A nice, normal sounding name... the kind of name that says,

"I really want to get to know that Kyle." or "Man, Kyle is so cool, i can't wait to hang out with him!"

Let's say someone asked me to go out on a friday night, perhaps to the drive-in with a bunch of people...

unknowing person: Hey Amanda, would you like to go to the drive-in tonight and see the brand new batman movie?

me: Oh yah!!! that sounds like so much fun... but is it ok if Kyle comes along?

unknowing person: Heck yah! Who's Kyle anyways?

me: (i pat my stomach) He's my new buddy

unknowing person: Ooooohhh I see... you're... pregnant???

me: No silly! I'm not pregnant! But I AM eating for two... Kyle is my parasite!

Thus ends my status as a normal human being.

HAHAHAHAHA!!! I can't stop laughing about this!!!

So much of Mexico seemed so normal to living here in the US, but let me just say... it IS IN FACT possible to eat at the "wrong" places down there. I'm sure I could have been more careful about not eating ice, brushing my teeth with bottled instead of tap water, going with my gut and not eating certain types of goat cheese... YAH.

Anyways, I'm confident that whatever the case might be, I'll be just fine. I may end up going to the dr just to make sure i'm alright if this persists, but it seems to be working out ok... But it sure does make for great blogging material *ha!*

(***please note, in every attempt to remain PC, I am sure that this post crosses certain people's limits of propriety. I apologize profusely if you or someone you know is named "Kyle." This post is in no way a reflection of how i feel towards anyone with that name***)


9 extraordinary comments:

Alistar July 18, 2008 at 2:49 PM  

ha ha ha haa....! i would have to reply to this but i have a feeling its going to offend certain people with graphic details so....

Jennifer July 18, 2008 at 3:10 PM  

Thank you for stoping by my blog:) I love having new friends!

emily July 18, 2008 at 4:13 PM  

I would suggest going to the doc and getting an antibiotic. Cipro or something similar. Often bacteria cause diarrhea called "travelers diarrhea" that responds great to antibiotics. :) just a thought.

Beth July 18, 2008 at 5:05 PM  

Dude, Otis *was* one of my boy names you might have just ruined in the mentioning of it in your post. I HATE you. Just kidding, just mildly sickened by you and 'Kyle'.

Hillarious post, now people really want to know, did this work as a diet and if so, where can I get my own parasite in the US?

Becky D July 18, 2008 at 7:57 PM  

one of friends has parasites, so she pats her stomach and says "my little friends aren't very happy right now"

Jaci July 19, 2008 at 9:07 PM  

Kyle is the perfect name for a little tapeworm. When people ask, "Hey, you look like your losing weight?" you can smile and say, "I owe it all to Kyle" while sort of glowing. Dumping Kyle might pose a problem...something about fasting and milk and hammers and letting it crawl out of your butt? But that could just be a crazy internet rumor...

Chelle July 20, 2008 at 10:20 PM  

Oh, hon, I'm so sorry. We lived in Turkey for 2 years and EVERYONE eventually came down with what we called the Turkish Tease. Yuck! We had to be on antibiotics. So I can definitely symathize with you. I hope you are feeling better!

Paige July 21, 2008 at 9:37 PM  

welll.... i hope you're happy about the fact that you just named a parasite after my little brother.... hahaha....

Sgt and Mrs Hub July 22, 2008 at 12:01 AM  

Oh Girl! Ugg! Keep Kyle happy or give him the boot! The other alternatives would be awful!


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